Supporting a Parent Struggling with Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety and depression?

Hello Doctor, I would like to ask about my mother's situation over the past few months.
Since we do not live together, I have been observing her through visits and phone calls.
Earlier this year, she mentioned that she started experiencing insomnia and has not been sleeping well.
After consulting a neurologist, she began taking sleeping pills, but by April, her sleep issues persisted.
She expressed concerns about becoming dependent on the medication, often taking it only after waking up in the middle of the night.
During this time, she also experienced constipation, which made her worry about her ability to have normal bowel movements in the future.
In April, when the whole family went out to eat, my mother suddenly became very anxious and started crying, saying she felt short of breath and could not tolerate the surrounding noise.
On the way home, she expressed that her visits to the doctor had not improved her condition and mentioned thoughts of wanting to jump out of the car to commit suicide.
In the past two weeks, she has repeatedly expressed suicidal thoughts, stating that her illnesses are not improving.
She becomes very worried about minor physical symptoms, such as having five bowel movements in one day or not having a bowel movement for two to three days, and frequently asks what would happen if this continues.
She often repeats questions about how to take her medications and is concerned that taking medications from multiple specialties might harm her kidney function.
The psychiatrist she consulted mentioned that she has autonomic nervous system dysregulation, is neurotic, and tends to be anxious about many problems that have not occurred.
However, my mother claims that the medications have caused her constipation, and after taking them for two weeks, she stopped on her own for a week.
She has been taking medications prescribed by a gastroenterologist, which she feels are ineffective, and she plans to return to the psychiatrist next week.
Observing my mother's condition, I noted the following:
1.
Physiological symptoms: insomnia, shortness of breath, sweating, palpitations, tremors, gastrointestinal discomfort, constipation, and involuntary limb movements at night.
2.
Emotional symptoms: excessive tension, anxiety, fear, worry, irritability, anger, distress, and depression.
3.
Cognitive symptoms: excessive worry about physical symptoms, suicidal ideation, and fear of losing control over her health.
4.
Motor symptoms: easily agitated.
5.
Behavioral responses: impatience, hypersensitivity, and avoidance behavior.
When she is unwilling to face her problems, she loses emotional control, saying things like "don't bother me, you don't understand me," or repeatedly asking about her symptoms and medication issues.
In the past two weeks, she has frequently expressed a desire to end her life if her condition does not improve.
Although she is still working, she feels a lot of pressure and wants to resign.
She is excessively worried and distressed about her health and future, often repeating her situation in conversations and not really listening to suggestions, appearing distracted.
What are some ways I can support my mother in alleviating her anxiety?

Ruby, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/04/24

Dr. Huang Weiqin reply Psychiatry

Hello, based on your description of your mother's emotions and behaviors, it is possible that she is experiencing depression combined with anxiety and autonomic nervous system dysregulation.
It is advisable for family members to accompany her for further evaluation and treatment by a psychiatrist.
With appropriate medication adjustments and relaxation training, her condition can often improve or resolve.
Thank you for your inquiry.

Reply Date: 2016/04/24

More Info

Supporting a parent who is struggling with anxiety and depression can be a challenging and emotionally taxing experience. It’s clear from your description that your mother is facing a multitude of distressing symptoms, including insomnia, panic attacks, obsessive worries about her health, and suicidal ideation. These symptoms can be overwhelming not only for her but also for you as her child. Here’s how you can support her effectively while also taking care of your own emotional well-being.

Understanding Her Condition
Your mother’s symptoms suggest that she is experiencing significant anxiety and possibly depression. The physical symptoms she describes—such as difficulty breathing, sweating, heart palpitations, and gastrointestinal issues—are often associated with anxiety disorders. Additionally, her obsessive worries about her health and the fear of losing control indicate a heightened state of anxiety. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are valid and can be debilitating.

Encouraging Professional Help
It seems that your mother has already sought help from various medical professionals, which is a positive step. However, it’s crucial that she finds a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist, who can provide a comprehensive evaluation and appropriate treatment plan. This may include therapy, medication, or a combination of both. Encourage her to be open about her symptoms and concerns during her appointments, as this will help her healthcare provider tailor the treatment to her needs.

Providing Emotional Support
1. Active Listening: One of the most powerful ways to support your mother is by being an active listener. Allow her to express her feelings without judgment. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to can alleviate some of her burdens.

2. Validate Her Feelings: Acknowledge her struggles and let her know that it’s okay to feel the way she does. Avoid minimizing her feelings or suggesting that she should simply "snap out of it." Instead, reassure her that her emotions are valid and that seeking help is a sign of strength.

3. Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Help her find healthy ways to cope with her anxiety. This could include mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, which can help ground her and reduce anxiety. Encourage her to engage in physical activity, as exercise is known to improve mood and reduce anxiety.

4. Create a Safe Environment: Ensure that her home environment is calm and supportive. This may involve reducing clutter, minimizing noise, and creating a space where she feels safe and comfortable.

5. Limit Exposure to Stressors: If possible, help her identify and limit exposure to stressors that exacerbate her anxiety. This could include reducing her workload or helping her find ways to manage her responsibilities more effectively.

Addressing Suicidal Thoughts
Given that your mother has expressed suicidal thoughts, it’s crucial to take these seriously. If she is in immediate danger or has a plan to harm herself, seek emergency help right away. Encourage her to talk to her doctor or a mental health professional about these feelings. It’s important for her to know that she is not alone and that there is help available.

Taking Care of Yourself
Supporting a parent with mental health issues can take a toll on your own emotional health. Make sure to prioritize self-care. This could involve seeking support for yourself, whether through friends, family, or a therapist. It’s essential to have your own outlet for processing your feelings and experiences.

Conclusion
Supporting your mother through her anxiety and depression will require patience, understanding, and active engagement in her treatment process. Encourage her to seek professional help, provide emotional support, and create a nurturing environment. Remember to take care of your own mental health as well, as this will enable you to be a more effective support for her. It’s a difficult journey, but with the right support and treatment, there is hope for improvement.

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