Managing Emotional Instability: Seeking Help for Family Conflict

Q: Managing Emotional Instability: Seeking Help for Family Conflict

Hello Shane： Based on your description, it seems that long-term external stress has led to emotional instability, irritability, lack of motivation, and feelings of depression, which indicate symptoms of depression. <br>Since the situation has not improved, I would recommend seeki

Emotional instability

Hello, Doctor Dai: Due to my father's infidelity, he and my mother often have intense arguments.
My mother cries and screams on the floor, and my father throws things (but he doesn't harm us).
Their relationship has been like this since I was in elementary school until now in college.
Every time I witness such scenes, I feel scared and sad, wanting it all to stop quickly.
About a year ago, I started banging my head whenever they argued, and I also bang my head when I encounter difficulties.
After banging my head, I can calm down.
Recently, my emotions have become increasingly unstable; I get angry easily, and even though I know I am being unreasonable, I still can't control myself.
Although I have many good friends, I often feel out of place and uncomfortable.
I am also very afraid of my parents discovering my sexual orientation, as they are strongly opposed to it, which adds significant pressure on me.
Recently, I have lost interest in things I used to enjoy, I can't feel happy no matter what happens, and I procrastinate on everything.
I dislike this version of myself but feel unable to change.
Doctor, what should I do? Thank you.

Shane, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/05/04

Dr. Dai Wanxiang reply Psychiatry

Hello Shane: Based on your description, it seems that long-term external stress has led to emotional instability, irritability, lack of motivation, and feelings of depression, which indicate symptoms of depression.
Since the situation has not improved, I would recommend seeking assistance from a healthcare facility, specifically in the field of psychiatry or mental health.
Treatment through medication or psychotherapy should be beneficial.
Wishing you well.

Reply Date: 2016/05/04

More Info

It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, dealing with the emotional turmoil stemming from your family dynamics, particularly the conflict between your parents. The situation you described, where your father’s infidelity leads to frequent and intense arguments with your mother, can create a highly stressful environment. This kind of atmosphere can significantly impact your mental health and emotional stability, especially when you have been exposed to it for such a long time.

Your feelings of fear and sadness during these arguments are completely valid. Witnessing your parents in distress can be traumatic, especially when it becomes a recurring theme in your life. The fact that you have started to engage in self-harm, such as head-banging, as a way to cope with your emotions is concerning. This behavior often indicates that you are struggling to manage overwhelming feelings and are seeking a release for that pent-up emotional pressure. It’s crucial to address these behaviors and find healthier coping mechanisms.

The emotional instability you are experiencing, characterized by increased anger and difficulty in controlling your reactions, suggests that you may be dealing with anxiety or stress-related issues. It is not uncommon for individuals in high-stress environments to feel a sense of loss of control over their emotions. Additionally, the fear of your parents discovering your sexual orientation adds another layer of stress, which can exacerbate feelings of isolation and anxiety.

Here are some steps you can take to help manage your emotional instability and navigate your family conflicts:
1. Seek Professional Help: It is essential to talk to a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. They can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings and help you develop coping strategies. Therapy can be particularly beneficial in processing your emotions and learning healthier ways to manage stress and anger.

2. Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Instead of resorting to self-harm, try to find alternative ways to cope with your emotions. This could include physical activities like exercise, creative outlets like art or writing, or mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises. These activities can help you channel your emotions more constructively.

3. Communicate with Trusted Friends: Since you mentioned having good friends, consider confiding in them about your feelings. Sharing your experiences can help alleviate feelings of isolation and provide you with support. Sometimes, just knowing that someone else understands can make a significant difference.

4. Establish Boundaries: If possible, try to create some emotional distance from the conflicts between your parents. This might mean physically removing yourself from the situation when arguments arise or mentally detaching from the drama. It’s important to protect your mental health.

5. Explore Your Interests: You mentioned losing interest in things you once enjoyed. Reconnecting with hobbies or activities that bring you joy can help improve your mood and provide a sense of accomplishment. Start small and gradually reintroduce these activities into your routine.

6. Consider Family Therapy: If your parents are open to it, family therapy could be beneficial. It can provide a platform for everyone to express their feelings in a controlled environment and work towards healthier communication patterns.

7. Educate Yourself About Emotions: Understanding your emotions and the triggers behind them can empower you to manage them better. There are many resources available, including books and online courses, that can help you learn about emotional regulation.

Remember, it’s okay to seek help and prioritize your mental health. You are not alone in this, and there are professionals who can guide you through these difficult times. Taking the first step by reaching out for help can lead to significant improvements in your emotional well-being and overall quality of life.

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