Can Transference Influence Sexual Orientation in Young Adults?

Could "transference" potentially lead someone to become homosexual?

I am a 22-year-old male.
Since elementary school, I have been interested in both boys and girls, but as I grew older, particularly starting in middle school, my interest in boys became significantly more pronounced.
This interest includes watching same-sex adult films, masturbation, secretly liking male classmates, and having sexual fantasies.
I have visited gay bars multiple times and engaged in kissing and nudity.
I have been single for 22 years and have never dated anyone, male or female.
I have tried to enter into a relationship but have been unable to overcome my psychological barriers; I cannot truly immerse myself in enjoying a romantic relationship with either gender.
I have less sexual fantasy about girls; I have deliberately watched heterosexual adult films and tried to masturbate to see if I could climax, which I found I could, but in real life, I do not pursue girls and intentionally maintain a normal relationship with them.

I have had a distant relationship with my father since childhood, which became cold after some conflicts, although he has always cared for me.
I dislike him and only engage in occasional conversations, while I maintain a very close relationship with my mother, leading to an imbalanced interaction with my parents.
I am questioning whether it is possible that I have transferred my need for fatherly admiration to other boys and older males at school from a young age, resulting in this pattern developing early on and, as I grew older, forming a need for same-sex attraction.

Xiao K, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/05/16

Dr. Zhong Mingxun reply Psychiatry

From a young age, the need to idolize the father was transferred to other boys and male elders at school, leading to this behavior becoming a pattern from early childhood.
As one grows older, this can develop into a homosexual attraction.
From a psychological perspective, this is quite possible.
The key is to avoid being led by the need to idolize the father and to become aware of one's own state.
Temporary emotional impulses often lead people to make regrettable or irrational decisions.

Reply Date: 2016/05/16

More Info

Transference, a concept rooted in psychoanalytic theory, refers to the phenomenon where individuals project feelings, desires, and expectations from one relationship onto another, often unconsciously. In the context of sexual orientation, particularly among young adults, transference can play a significant role in shaping one's attractions and relationships.
Your experiences and reflections raise important questions about the interplay between familial relationships, particularly with your father, and the development of your sexual orientation. It is not uncommon for individuals to redirect feelings of admiration or affection from parental figures to peers or mentors, especially when there is a perceived lack of connection or unresolved conflict with those parental figures. In your case, the cold relationship with your father may have led you to seek emotional fulfillment and validation from male peers or authority figures, potentially influencing your sexual attractions.

From a psychological perspective, it is essential to consider that sexual orientation is a complex interplay of biological, psychological, and social factors. While some theories suggest that early experiences and relationships can shape sexual orientation, it is crucial to recognize that sexual orientation itself is not a choice and is often understood as an inherent aspect of a person's identity. The feelings you describe—your attraction to men, your fantasies, and your experiences in gay bars—suggest that you may be exploring your sexual identity, which is a normal part of development, especially during young adulthood.

Your reflections on your relationship with your parents are particularly insightful. The strong bond with your mother and the distant relationship with your father may have contributed to your emotional landscape. It is possible that your admiration for male figures in your life, stemming from a need for paternal approval or affection, has influenced your sexual feelings. This does not necessarily mean that your attractions are solely a result of transference; rather, they may be part of a broader exploration of your identity.

Moreover, the fact that you have not engaged in romantic relationships yet may indicate a level of anxiety or fear surrounding intimacy, which can be common among young adults. The psychological barriers you mention could stem from a fear of vulnerability or a lack of self-acceptance regarding your sexual orientation. It is essential to explore these feelings further, perhaps with the help of a mental health professional who can provide a safe space for you to discuss your experiences and feelings without judgment.

In conclusion, while transference may influence your feelings and attractions, it is essential to view your sexual orientation as a multifaceted aspect of your identity that encompasses a range of influences, including familial relationships, personal experiences, and individual psychological development. Engaging in self-reflection and seeking support from a therapist can help you navigate these complex feelings and gain a clearer understanding of your sexual orientation. Remember, it is perfectly normal to question and explore your identity, and doing so can lead to greater self-acceptance and fulfillment in your relationships.

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