Anxiety and uncertainty factors?
Hello, Dr.
Lin.
I am currently in high school (I attend an all-boys school), and I am experiencing significant academic pressure, which makes me more prone to anxiety.
Recently, I have some matters on my mind that I would like to discuss with you, particularly regarding sexual orientation.
Throughout my development, I have faced many challenges, including a recent episode of prostatitis and a decline in my academic performance.
This month, I began to question my sexual orientation.
I have done some reading and found that others have asked similar questions.
I understand that sexual orientation is largely influenced by innate factors, and most people are aware of their orientation from a young age.
My situation is that I previously had a crush on a girl, and my family does not instill negative views about homosexuality (although they do not approve).
However, I have never heard them speak negatively about homosexuality.
I am feeling confused and uncertain about my sexual orientation.
I have tried looking at BL (Boys' Love) content and experienced a strange, indescribable feeling.
Currently, I do not have much sexual desire, which makes it even harder for me to identify my orientation.
I find some boys attractive and also think some girls are beautiful.
Throughout my life, I have generally felt more attracted to girls, but recently, I am unsure why this is changing.
I would like to ask if there are people who have suddenly changed their sexual orientation without external influences (not just suddenly realizing it, but rather someone who previously liked girls).
I am a bit scared, worried that my long-term concerns may become a reality.
Thank you for listening, Dr.
Lin.
A Ding, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/05/27
Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry
Hello, A-Ding: Sexual orientation is innate and generally does not change due to external influences.
If it could, then past treatments claiming to "correct" homosexuality would have been effective; in fact, homosexuality is not a disorder and does not require treatment.
Sexual orientation will not change simply because you think about it a lot.
I believe that since you are currently in puberty, you may feel curious and confused about sexuality, and the pressure from your studies can also affect your feelings about your orientation.
I suggest that if you continue to feel troubled, you should consider visiting a psychiatrist to discuss ways to alleviate your anxiety.
Wishing you success in your studies!
Reply Date: 2021/05/27
More Info
Navigating the complexities of sexual orientation during adolescence can be a challenging and often confusing experience, especially when compounded by academic pressures and personal health issues. It's important to recognize that questioning one's sexual orientation is a normal part of development, particularly during the teenage years when individuals are exploring their identities and feelings.
Firstly, it's essential to understand that sexual orientation is not a choice; it is a part of who you are. Many people experience fluidity in their attractions and feelings, especially during adolescence. This period is marked by significant hormonal changes and emotional development, which can lead to a range of feelings towards different genders. It's not uncommon for someone who has primarily been attracted to one gender to find themselves attracted to another gender later on, or to feel a mix of attractions. This exploration is a natural part of understanding oneself.
You mentioned that you have had crushes on girls in the past, which indicates that you have experienced attraction to females. The feelings you are currently experiencing towards males, such as finding some boys attractive, do not negate your past attractions. Instead, they may reflect the complexity of human sexuality. It's also worth noting that many people find themselves attracted to individuals based on personality traits, emotional connections, or other non-physical attributes, regardless of gender.
Regarding your concerns about external influences on sexual orientation, research suggests that while societal and cultural factors can shape how individuals express their sexuality, they do not determine one's sexual orientation. Many people discover their sexual orientation independently of external pressures or influences. It’s possible for someone to identify as heterosexual for a long time and later realize they have attractions to the same sex, or vice versa. This does not mean that their previous feelings were invalid; rather, it highlights the fluidity of sexual orientation.
Your anxiety about these feelings is understandable, especially in a high-pressure environment like high school. It’s important to approach these feelings with curiosity rather than fear. Allow yourself the space to explore these feelings without judgment. Engaging with supportive friends or communities, whether online or in person, can provide a safe space to discuss your feelings and experiences.
If you find that your anxiety is impacting your daily life, such as causing significant distress or affecting your academic performance, it may be beneficial to speak with a mental health professional. They can provide support and strategies to help you manage your anxiety and navigate your feelings about your sexual orientation.
In summary, questioning your sexual orientation is a normal part of adolescent development. It’s okay to feel uncertain and to explore your feelings towards different genders. Remember that your experiences and feelings are valid, and there is no rush to label yourself. Take your time to understand yourself, and seek support if you need it. You are not alone in this journey, and many have walked a similar path of self-discovery.
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