Self-Defense Mechanisms in Mental Health: Seeking Help

Q: Self-Defense Mechanisms in Mental Health: Seeking Help

Hello, foreigner： From what you’ve shared, it seems you experienced these issues at a relatively young age, during middle and high school. <br>This is an important stage in life development and personality formation. <br>Therefore, I recommend that you seek psychological counseli

Self-defense?

Hello, I have a few questions I would like to ask you.
When I was in middle school, my mother taught at the same school, and I felt that I had to perform better than my classmates to avoid embarrassment.
Unfortunately, I found it difficult to meet the expectations of my teachers and my mother, which caused me a lot of stress.
My teacher was very strict and often put me in difficult situations in front of my classmates.
During those three years of middle school, I felt anxious and distracted almost every day.
At that time, I also isolated myself; I had few friends in class, and not many people wanted to talk to me.
I felt inferior and worthless, and this continued into my first year of high school.
Later, I realized that I became afraid of going to the library alone, eating in restaurants, or even taking the train or bus by myself.
I felt like people were watching me, which was very uncomfortable and still troubles me today.
I always need to find a friend to accompany me to these places; otherwise, I choose to sit in a corner or face the wall or window.
If I notice someone staring at me, whether they are classmates or friends, I glare at them angrily and say, "Why are you looking at me?" Some friends have even fallen out with me because of this, and I regret it afterward.
There was a period, perhaps during my first year of high school, when I had no noticeable reaction to external stimuli.
For example, when a teacher told a joke and everyone laughed, I couldn't understand why they were laughing.
I felt no emotion when watching touching stories or dramas.
Is this a form of self-defense? What methods can help alleviate this situation?
Now, I feel that I have experienced the 921 earthquake and have gone through all kinds of sensory stimuli.
I do not intentionally want to commit suicide, but I do not care about my safety.
I really want to have good interpersonal relationships and be popular in groups, but every time I inadvertently hurt someone with inappropriate words, I feel regret, frustration, and guilt, thinking it’s all my fault.
The more I think this way, the less I want to interact with others because I fear I will hurt them again.
What kind of treatment or counseling do I need to improve my situation?

foreigner, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2002/09/23

Dr. Liao Dinglie reply Psychiatry

Hello, foreigner: From what you’ve shared, it seems you experienced these issues at a relatively young age, during middle and high school.
This is an important stage in life development and personality formation.
Therefore, I recommend that you seek psychological counseling regularly.
Typically, universities offer related psychological services (counseling centers), or you may choose to visit a psychiatric hospital to discuss available medical resources and services with a physician.
The lack of emotional response to what you see and hear can indeed be considered a form of self-defense.
We refer to this as isolation of affect.
While this situation cannot be classified as pathological, I still advise you to be mentally prepared for a longer-term counseling process.
Wishing you all the best.
Bali Sanatorium, General Psychiatry, Liao Ding-Lie.

Reply Date: 2002/09/23

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a complex interplay of anxiety, self-esteem issues, and possibly some symptoms of social anxiety disorder or even depression. Your feelings of pressure to perform, especially with your mother being a teacher at your school, can create an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. This pressure, combined with a lack of social support during your formative years, has likely contributed to your current struggles with self-worth and interpersonal relationships.

The feelings of being watched or judged by others, as well as the intense reactions you have when you perceive someone looking at you, are common symptoms of social anxiety. This condition can lead to avoidance behaviors, where you feel compelled to have friends accompany you to public places or to sit in a way that minimizes your exposure to others. This avoidance can further exacerbate feelings of isolation and loneliness, creating a vicious cycle.

Your experience of feeling emotionally numb or detached from situations that typically evoke strong reactions, such as humor or sadness, may be a form of emotional regulation or dissociation. This can be a protective mechanism that your mind employs to shield you from overwhelming feelings, especially if you have experienced significant stress or trauma in the past, such as the 921 earthquake you mentioned. While this might provide temporary relief, it can hinder your ability to connect with others and enjoy life fully.

Seeking help from a mental health professional is crucial in your situation. A therapist can help you explore these feelings and experiences in a safe environment, allowing you to process your emotions and develop healthier coping strategies. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for social anxiety and can help you challenge negative thought patterns, improve your self-esteem, and gradually expose you to social situations in a controlled manner.

Additionally, it may be beneficial to engage in mindfulness practices or relaxation techniques, which can help you manage anxiety symptoms and improve your emotional awareness. Activities such as meditation, yoga, or even simple breathing exercises can ground you in the present moment and reduce feelings of panic or anxiety when you perceive others watching you.

Building a support network is also essential. While it may feel daunting, reaching out to trusted friends or family members and sharing your experiences can foster understanding and empathy. You might also consider joining support groups where you can connect with others who share similar experiences, which can help reduce feelings of isolation.

In summary, your experiences and feelings are valid, and seeking professional help is a positive step toward understanding and improving your mental health. Therapy can provide you with the tools to navigate your emotions, enhance your interpersonal relationships, and ultimately lead to a more fulfilling life. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to help you.

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