Overcoming Social Anxiety: Struggling with Eye Contact and Discomfort

I am unable to freely look at the places I want to see?

I am not sure if this is one of the symptoms of social anxiety disorder, but I am very afraid of seeing people out of the corner of my eye, which makes me start to feel anxious.
I worry that the person might think I am looking at them or that they might consider me rude, which causes me a lot of distress.
As a result, I find it difficult to freely look at what I want to see.
I have tried focusing on the task at hand; for example, if I am reading and someone is sitting next to me, I attempt to concentrate on the book.
However, it doesn't seem to help.

Qianling, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/07/30

Dr. Zhang Gengjia reply Psychiatry

Dear Sir/Madam,
Thank you for your message.
Based on the process you described, I can clearly sense your discomfort and emotions.
It seems that this is related to how you face situations (shyness) and respond emotionally.
If you accept professional treatment, it should help restore your emotions to a state of your own control and management.
We just need to consider whether there are other ways to handle this, which could provide an opportunity for improvement.
Master Sheng-Yen once said, "Face it, accept it, deal with it, let it go." This is a very wise statement.
I would also like to share that our clinic has consultation hours from Monday to Friday, both in the morning and afternoon, with appointments available until noon and consultations until 4:30 PM.
The consultation phone number is 06-2795019 ext 1106, 1107.
We welcome your visit and wish you mental and physical well-being.
Sincerely,
Dr.
Chang Geng-Jia
Department of Psychiatry

Reply Date: 2016/07/30

More Info

Overcoming social anxiety, especially when it involves discomfort with eye contact and the fear of being judged by others, can be a challenging journey. It sounds like you are experiencing significant distress related to social interactions, particularly when it comes to making eye contact or even being aware of others in your peripheral vision. This is a common symptom of social anxiety disorder (SAD), which can manifest in various ways, including fear of negative evaluation, avoidance of social situations, and physical symptoms like increased heart rate or sweating.

Firstly, it’s important to understand that you are not alone in feeling this way. Many individuals with social anxiety experience similar fears and discomfort. The fear of being perceived as rude or inappropriate can create a cycle of anxiety that makes it difficult to engage in social situations. This can lead to avoidance behaviors, which may provide temporary relief but ultimately reinforce the anxiety.

Here are some strategies that may help you cope with social anxiety and improve your comfort with eye contact:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This is one of the most effective treatments for social anxiety. CBT helps you identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to your anxiety. A therapist can guide you through exposure exercises, gradually helping you face your fears in a controlled and supportive environment.

2. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded in the present moment rather than getting caught up in anxious thoughts. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery can help reduce anxiety symptoms. When you feel anxious about making eye contact, try focusing on your breath or the sensations in your body to bring your attention back to the present.

3. Gradual Exposure: Start with small, manageable steps to increase your comfort with eye contact. For example, practice making brief eye contact with a friend or family member during a conversation. Gradually increase the duration of eye contact as you become more comfortable. This can help desensitize you to the anxiety associated with eye contact.

4. Reframing Negative Thoughts: Challenge the belief that others are constantly judging you. Remind yourself that most people are focused on their own experiences and are not scrutinizing your every move. It can be helpful to keep a journal where you write down your anxious thoughts and then counter them with more rational, positive statements.

5. Social Skills Training: Engaging in social skills training can help you develop more confidence in your interactions with others. This can include practicing conversation starters, learning how to maintain a conversation, and understanding non-verbal cues.

6. Support Groups: Connecting with others who share similar experiences can provide a sense of community and understanding. Support groups can be a safe space to share your feelings and learn from others who are also working to overcome social anxiety.

7. Professional Help: If your anxiety is significantly impacting your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek help from a mental health professional. They can provide a tailored treatment plan that may include therapy, medication, or a combination of both.

8. Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself as you navigate these challenges. Recognize that overcoming social anxiety is a process that takes time and effort. Celebrate small victories along the way, and don’t be too hard on yourself for setbacks.

In conclusion, while social anxiety can be debilitating, there are effective strategies and treatments available to help you manage your symptoms. By seeking support and actively working on your anxiety, you can gradually improve your comfort in social situations and enhance your overall quality of life. Remember, it’s okay to take small steps and seek help when needed. You are not alone in this journey, and with time and effort, it is possible to overcome these challenges.

Similar Q&A

Overcoming Social Anxiety: Coping Strategies for Building Confidence

I am a person with low self-confidence and I easily fear being disliked. Whether it's with family, my boyfriend, or strangers, whenever the focus is on me, I become uncomfortable and often feel like crying for no reason. Sometimes, I am very afraid of making eye contact duri...

Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry
Hello Pie: Thank you for your hard work! It sounds like you are experiencing significant pressure in your interactions with others. I wonder when this started for you? Typically, a person's lack of confidence can stem from their inherent personality traits as well as environ...

Overcoming Social Anxiety: Seeking Help and Finding Solutions

Hello Dr. Chen: As the title suggests, I believe I have social anxiety disorder. I have listed my symptoms and examples... 1. I am hesitant to go shopping alone because I have to speak to the store staff; even ordering food is difficult for me to initiate. 2. I am very afraid of ...

Dr. Chen Wenyu reply Psychiatry
Hello, Xiao Pang: Some anticipated anxiety and negative thinking may appear to others as "overthinking." In fact, the individual often knows they are overthinking, but how can they stop themselves from doing so? In your case, social anxiety disorder involves not only an...

Overcoming Social Anxiety: A College Freshman's Struggle and Hope

Hello, Doctor: I am a freshman in college. I discovered these symptoms myself. Ever since I experienced the painful unrequited love in middle school, I have been afraid to walk on the street. Even in front of my own house, I feel fear, worried about encountering the person or thi...

Dr. Li Ruqing reply Psychiatry
Hello, I apologize for the delayed response and hope this hasn't increased your anxiety. Anxiety and sensitivity are often inherent traits in self-reflective individuals, but they can frequently accompany each other, impacting mental health and subsequently interfering with ...

Overcoming Social Anxiety: A Journey from Isolation to Confidence

In elementary school, I had a good social circle in grades 1-4, but in grades 5-6, even though I participated in the dodgeball team, I was hesitant to talk to my classmates. Instead, I became good friends with the younger students. My social interactions in junior high were okay,...

Dr. Peng Liyun reply Psychiatry
Dear Sir/Madam, From your letter, I can sense the emotions and stress you are currently experiencing due to changes in your mood, thoughts, and daily life. It seems you may have been feeling down, which can significantly impact your emotional well-being and daily activities, esp...