Overcoming Social Anxiety: A High School Student's Journey to Confidence - Psychiatry

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Social Anxiety Disorder


I am a high school student who easily gets nervous and shy.
I blush when talking to unfamiliar people, and I often fidget with my fingers, even struggling to make eye contact with them.
During my third year of junior high, there were times when I spoke less than ten sentences at school, and I felt more comfortable acting alone.
I tended to internalize my feelings and gradually became distant from my classmates, having no close friends and not daring to confide in my family.
However, I have made significant improvements and am gradually becoming more proactive in initiating conversations with my classmates.
Yet, I still sometimes feel uncomfortable at school; a glance or gesture from a classmate can make me anxious, making me wonder if I've done something wrong.
Even now, I still hesitate to present in front of the class, and I feel completely uneasy during self-introductions.
Sometimes I wonder if I have isolated myself, if I am pushing others away, or if I am still haunted by past hurts from junior high that I haven't overcome.
All these factors lead me to start doubting myself, leaving me feeling exhausted.

Jin Q, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/02/07

Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry


Hello, your concerns clearly indicate that you are experiencing social anxiety disorder, which is an anxiety disorder.
Since it has significantly impacted your normal social activities, I recommend that you consult a professional psychiatrist to discuss your issues.
Currently, a combination of medication and psychotherapy can effectively alleviate most of your concerns.
Many people experience this issue, although the severity may vary.
In fact, doctors have also felt the same way; they would get so nervous before speaking in public that their minds would go blank, and they would feel anxious in crowded places, often trying to avoid certain activities.
However, improvement can be achieved through continuous practice.
Wishing you well.

Reply Date: 2017/02/07

More Info


Overcoming social anxiety is a significant challenge for many high school students, and your experience resonates with a lot of individuals who struggle with similar feelings. Social anxiety can manifest in various ways, including excessive self-consciousness, fear of judgment, and difficulty in engaging with peers. It’s commendable that you’ve made progress in initiating conversations with classmates, but it’s understandable that you still feel uneasy in certain situations, especially when it comes to public speaking or interacting with unfamiliar people.

Firstly, it’s important to recognize that social anxiety is a common issue, particularly during adolescence when social dynamics are constantly changing. The feelings of nervousness and self-doubt you experience are not uncommon, and many students face similar challenges. The fact that you are aware of your feelings and are actively seeking to improve is a positive step forward.

One of the key aspects of overcoming social anxiety is understanding the root causes of your feelings. You mentioned that past experiences, particularly in middle school, may have contributed to your current state of mind. It’s crucial to acknowledge these experiences and how they have shaped your self-perception. Sometimes, unresolved feelings from past interactions can linger and affect how we view ourselves and our interactions with others. Reflecting on these experiences, possibly through journaling or talking with a trusted friend or counselor, can help you process these emotions.

Building confidence in social situations often requires gradual exposure to the things that make you anxious. Start with small, manageable interactions, such as greeting a classmate or asking a question in class. As you become more comfortable with these small steps, gradually increase the complexity of your interactions. For instance, you might try to engage in a group discussion or participate in a school activity that interests you. The more you practice, the more natural these interactions will become.

Additionally, consider developing coping strategies to manage your anxiety when it arises. Techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or grounding exercises can help calm your nerves before engaging in social situations. When you feel the urge to overthink or worry about how others perceive you, remind yourself that everyone experiences moments of insecurity. It can be helpful to reframe your thoughts; instead of focusing on potential negative outcomes, try to visualize positive interactions and remind yourself of your strengths.

It’s also essential to cultivate a support system. While you may feel isolated at times, reaching out to friends, family, or school counselors can provide you with the encouragement and understanding you need. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can alleviate some of the burdens you carry. They may offer insights or perspectives that you hadn’t considered, and simply knowing that someone is there for you can be incredibly comforting.

Lastly, if you find that your anxiety continues to interfere with your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide you with tailored strategies to address your specific concerns and help you work through any underlying issues contributing to your anxiety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), in particular, has been shown to be effective in treating social anxiety by helping individuals challenge and change negative thought patterns.

In conclusion, overcoming social anxiety is a journey that requires patience and self-compassion. Celebrate the progress you’ve made, no matter how small, and continue to challenge yourself in social situations. Remember that it’s okay to seek help and that you are not alone in this experience. With time, practice, and support, you can build the confidence you desire and create meaningful connections with others.

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