Emotional Instability: Navigating Feelings and Friendships in Adolescence

Q: Emotional Instability: Navigating Feelings and Friendships in Adolescence

Hello： Sometimes certain situations may trigger feelings of depression or discomfort, and the underlying reasons may be repressed in consciousness. <br>It is advisable to redirect your attention to focus on other neutral events to see if the situation improves. <br>Past negative

Emotional instability

Hello, doctor.
I am currently in the process of transitioning to high school.
Although I am generally cheerful, I have been feeling quite emotional lately.
Recently, I find myself inexplicably sad and crying for no reason about two to three nights a week.
There have been two instances in class where I suddenly cried uncontrollably, gasping for breath and shaking all over, and I don't even know why it happened.

I also want to ask about a past experience in elementary school when I was ostracized by some girls in my class for a period of time.
After moving to a new class in grades 5 and 6, that situation stopped.
I don't remember the details of what they did to me, but I now feel a bit fearful and anxious, even somewhat repulsed, when trying to make friends with unfamiliar girls.

In middle school, this situation occurred only three or four times, and I managed to make many female friends.
Now that I am about to enter a girls' high school, I am starting to worry about the social dynamics and fear having poor interpersonal relationships.

Despite feeling conflicted, I have a particularly close female friend from middle school.
I often feel insecure, so I like to hold her hand or hug her.
Since we are very close, I tend to hold onto her a lot.
I have this feeling of not wanting to be apart from her; when I am away, I feel very sad and uneasy.
When I see her with other girls, I find myself feeling unhappy.
Does this mean I have special feelings for her or something?
My parents are unaware of these situations.
I have never been very open with my family about my feelings and rarely express negative emotions.
I only show my true self in front of my friends.
Is this unhealthy?

Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/07/20

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello: Sometimes certain situations may trigger feelings of depression or discomfort, and the underlying reasons may be repressed in consciousness.
It is advisable to redirect your attention to focus on other neutral events to see if the situation improves.
Past negative experiences can influence current emotional behaviors to some extent.
If you recognize that the current situation is related to past negative experiences, it is usually easier to manage your anxiety.
Regarding feelings and relationships with classmates, there may be changes during the developmental stage, and feeling sad about separation from close friends is a normal reaction.
It is recommended to focus on living your current life well and to learn and grow from your experiences.
If you continue to feel troubled, seeking medical assistance may be helpful.
Wishing you a fulfilling and enjoyable high school life.

Reply Date: 2017/07/20

More Info

Navigating emotional instability during adolescence can be a complex and challenging experience. It is not uncommon for teenagers to experience heightened emotions, mood swings, and anxiety, especially when facing significant life transitions such as moving from middle school to high school. Your feelings of sadness, anxiety, and attachment to friends are valid and deserve attention.

Firstly, the episodes of crying and feelings of being overwhelmed that you described may indicate underlying emotional distress. It is essential to recognize that these feelings are not uncommon during adolescence, a time when hormonal changes and social pressures can significantly impact emotional well-being. If you find yourself crying unexpectedly or feeling anxious to the point of physical symptoms like shaking and difficulty breathing, it may be beneficial to speak with a mental health professional. They can help you explore these feelings further and provide coping strategies to manage your emotions effectively.

Your past experiences of being excluded by peers can also contribute to your current feelings of anxiety and fear regarding new social situations. It is understandable to feel apprehensive about entering a new environment, especially if you have had negative experiences in the past. However, it is crucial to remind yourself that not all social interactions will mirror those past experiences. Building new friendships takes time, and it is okay to approach new relationships with caution. Gradually exposing yourself to new social situations can help you build confidence and reduce anxiety over time.

Regarding your close friendship with the girl you mentioned, it is natural to feel a strong attachment to someone you trust and feel comfortable with. The feelings of insecurity and the need for physical closeness, such as holding hands or hugging, can indicate a deep emotional connection. It is essential to recognize that friendships can vary in intensity, and it is okay to have strong feelings for a close friend. However, if you find that these feelings are causing distress or confusion, it may be helpful to reflect on what you want from this friendship and whether it aligns with your feelings.

It is also worth noting that not expressing negative emotions to your family can create a barrier to understanding and support. While it is common for adolescents to feel more comfortable sharing their feelings with friends, opening up to family members can provide additional support and perspective. Consider finding a safe way to express your feelings to your family, whether through direct conversation or writing them a letter. This can help them understand your emotional landscape better and offer the support you may need.

In summary, navigating emotional instability during adolescence is a multifaceted process that involves understanding your feelings, seeking support, and gradually building confidence in social situations. It is essential to prioritize your mental health by considering professional help if your emotional distress continues. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to help you navigate these challenges.

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