Depression: Signs, Symptoms, and When to Seek Help

Is there a tendency towards depression?

Hello, doctor.
I apologize for the lengthy message.
Since childhood, my father has often joked about wanting to commit suicide and would sometimes not come home.
Although he has never actually harmed himself, witnessing this behavior throughout my life has made me feel very down.
I often wonder why he has to create such unhappiness for everyone.
Whenever he mentions suicide, I start having thoughts of wanting to die.

During elementary school, I went through a period of self-harm.
Although I stopped self-harming afterward, I find that whenever I face stressful situations, I think about death.
In middle school, I frequently told my friends that I wanted to die and felt hopeless every day.
Things improved a lot in high school and college; I felt very happy at times, but when I was sad or under pressure, I would think that it would be better to just die.
There was even one occasion when I stood on the rooftop, contemplating jumping down as a form of escape.
In the past couple of years, although I don't feel as hopeless every day as I used to, whenever I encounter stressful events, I start feeling overwhelmed, cry, and experience a tight, uncomfortable sensation in my chest.
I have also spent time alone in a dark room, not wanting to cry or talk.
I do have moments of happiness and don't feel unhappy every day, so I'm unsure if this indicates depression.
I want to see a doctor, but I'm uncertain if my situation warrants a consultation.

Mei, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/11/18

Dr. Wang Junnian reply Psychiatry

Dear Sir/Madam,
Based on your description, it appears that you are indeed troubled by emotional issues.
However, to determine whether you have depression, it would be necessary to meet with you in person for a detailed assessment before making a diagnosis.
During your elementary and middle school years, your father's unstable emotions significantly impacted your childhood, leading to feelings of sadness, worthlessness, and thoughts of suicide.
Although you did not engage in actual suicidal behavior, you did experience self-harming actions.
These situations likely had a severe effect on your daily life and interpersonal interactions, resembling symptoms of depression.
Now that you are in college, your overall emotional state seems to have improved based on your description.
I would recommend that you closely monitor changes in your emotions, as well as your sleep patterns and appetite.
Additionally, it would be beneficial to talk with close family members or friends about your feelings.
If you continue to have thoughts of wanting to die, the situation may be more serious, and I suggest seeking psychological counseling or an evaluation and treatment from a psychiatrist.
Under Taiwan's National Health Insurance system, accessing outpatient psychiatric care is quite convenient, and the costs are covered by insurance, so there is no need to worry.
Wishing you peace and joy,
Psychiatrist Wang Jun-Nian

Reply Date: 2017/11/18

More Info

It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and I want to acknowledge the pain and confusion you’re experiencing. Understanding depression is crucial, especially when it comes to recognizing its signs and symptoms, and knowing when to seek help.

Depression is more than just feeling sad; it can manifest in various ways, including persistent feelings of hopelessness, irritability, and a lack of interest in activities that once brought joy. You mentioned experiencing thoughts of self-harm and suicidal ideation, which are serious symptoms that should not be overlooked. It’s important to understand that these thoughts can be a sign of a deeper mental health issue, such as depression or anxiety.

From what you’ve described, it seems you have a history of emotional distress that may have roots in your childhood experiences with your father’s suicidal comments. Witnessing a loved one struggle with mental health can significantly impact your own emotional well-being. The feelings of sadness and hopelessness you experienced as a child may have laid the groundwork for your current struggles. It’s not uncommon for individuals who have been exposed to such environments to develop their own mental health challenges.

You mentioned that during stressful times, you feel overwhelmed and have thoughts of wanting to escape or end your life. This is a critical indicator that you may be dealing with depression. The fact that you’ve had self-harming behaviors in the past, even if they are not currently present, suggests that you have been coping with intense emotional pain for a long time. It’s also concerning that you sometimes isolate yourself in dark rooms, which can exacerbate feelings of sadness and despair.

It’s essential to recognize that experiencing highs and lows is part of life, but when the lows become overwhelming and persistent, it may be time to seek professional help. You mentioned that you’re unsure whether your symptoms warrant a visit to a doctor. If you find yourself frequently thinking about death, feeling hopeless, or unable to cope with daily stressors, it’s a strong indication that you should reach out for help.

Seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with the support and tools you need to navigate these feelings. They can help you understand your emotions better, provide a safe space to express your thoughts, and develop coping strategies. Therapy can be incredibly beneficial, and in some cases, medication may also be recommended to help manage symptoms.

It’s also important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Many people struggle with similar feelings, and there is no shame in reaching out for support. Confidentiality is a fundamental aspect of mental health care, so you can feel safe discussing your feelings with a professional.

In addition to professional help, consider building a support network of friends or family members who you can talk to about your feelings. Engaging in activities that promote mental well-being, such as exercise, mindfulness, or creative outlets, can also be beneficial.

In summary, your experiences and feelings are valid, and it’s crucial to take them seriously. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional. You deserve support and help in navigating these challenging emotions. Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope for a brighter future.

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