the Impact of Parental Pressure on Mental Health - Psychiatry

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I am under a lot of stress?


I'm in a single-parent household with my dad, and for almost a week, she has been yelling at me for 3 to 4 days.
She keeps saying that she is just talking and not scolding me.
I now feel like the world has turned black and white.
I still remember when I was little, and when I cried or threw a tantrum, she would tell me to just die.
I can recall the exact moments she scolded me.
When I didn't do well on exams, she would keep lecturing me without offering any comfort, questioning why others did well while I didn't, without acknowledging the effort I put in.
Now, I find myself crying alone 1 to 2 days a week.
Ironically, my mom, whom I see only occasionally, treats me better.
I feel increasingly pressured, and when she scolds me, I hide and hit my own head.
Sometimes, I genuinely wish I could just end it all.
Every time she yells at me, I run to a place where no one is around to talk to myself.
Even when I have a fever, she still scolds me.
I no longer feel that home is the warmest place.
When I can't take it anymore, I seriously think about using a knife to hurt myself.
I feel like one day I might reach a breaking point and consider suicide...
Am I suffering from depression?

Hua Hua, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/05/01

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Hello, Huahua: During adolescence, interactions with parents are often both conflicting and contradictory.
This period is characterized by impulsivity, so it's advisable to take some time to calm down when feeling emotional and gradually find ways to adjust.
The desire to harm oneself after a conflict with parents usually stems from a deep concern for them.
It's recommended to reflect on what specifically is making you angry or sad and then seek appropriate coping strategies.
If you continue to feel troubled, it's advisable to seek medical assistance.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2018/05/01

More Info


The impact of parental pressure, especially in a single-parent household, can be profound and far-reaching, affecting not only the mental health of the child but also their overall well-being. Your experiences reflect a significant emotional burden that can stem from a lack of supportive communication and understanding within the family dynamic.
In your case, it seems that your father's behavior has created an environment where you feel criticized rather than supported. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression. The fact that you recall hurtful comments from your childhood indicates that these experiences have left a lasting impression on you. Children are particularly sensitive to parental feedback, and negative reinforcement can lead to a distorted self-image and a belief that they are not good enough.
The pressure to perform academically, coupled with a lack of emotional support, can exacerbate feelings of stress and anxiety. When parents focus solely on outcomes—like grades—without acknowledging the effort put in, it can create a sense of failure in the child. This is particularly damaging when the child is already struggling with self-esteem issues. Your feelings of wanting to harm yourself or thoughts of suicide are serious and indicate that you are in a state of emotional distress that requires immediate attention.

It's important to recognize that these feelings are not uncommon among individuals who experience high levels of stress and pressure from their parents. The cycle of negativity can perpetuate itself, leading to a toxic environment where the child feels trapped and unsupported. The emotional pain you are experiencing is valid, and it is crucial to seek help.
You mentioned that you sometimes feel like you want to escape or harm yourself when faced with your father's criticism. These thoughts can be indicative of depression or anxiety disorders, which are common responses to prolonged stress and emotional turmoil. It is essential to talk to a mental health professional who can help you navigate these feelings and provide coping strategies.
In addition to seeking professional help, consider reaching out to trusted friends or family members who can offer support. Sometimes, just having someone listen can make a significant difference. Journaling your thoughts and feelings can also be a therapeutic way to process your emotions and gain clarity on your situation.

Lastly, remember that you are not alone in this struggle. Many individuals face similar challenges, and there are resources available to help you cope and heal. It is a sign of strength to seek help, and taking that step can lead you toward a healthier and more fulfilling life. Your mental health is important, and you deserve to feel safe and supported in your environment.

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