Children's Mental Health: Addressing Academic Pressure and Suicidal Thoughts

Q: Children's Mental Health: Addressing Academic Pressure and Suicidal Thoughts

Hello, Xiaoxin： This is a cry for help from the child. <br>I suggest we first listen, take the time to carefully understand what difficulties the child is facing, and how we can assist them. <br>A child's emotional state can significantly impact their learning, and for a child to

The child does not want to study, saying that the pressure is too great and expressing thoughts of suicide?

Hello, doctor: I am a working mother with two young children, a third-grade daughter and a second-grade son.
After school, they go directly to after-school care, which they have been attending for over two years.
I am not too worried about my daughter academically; she has good learning abilities, but her attitude towards studying has not been great lately.
She is often careless and has been getting poor grades.
When the teacher offered her a chance to retake an exam, she simply said she didn't want to and that passing was enough for her.
She complains that studying is exhausting and envies her classmates who don’t have to attend after-school care.
She has even expressed a desire to run away from home.
I really don’t know what to do about this.
On the other hand, my son is slower in his learning abilities, and the after-school care teachers are stricter, which often leads to him being scolded for not memorizing well.
Whenever they get reprimanded by their teachers, they come home upset and cry, blaming the teachers.
This happened again yesterday when my son was scolded and even laughed at by a classmate.
When I picked him up, he immediately cried in the car, saying he didn’t want to go to after-school care and that he wanted to commit suicide.
Hearing this breaks my heart.
Why are such young children expressing thoughts of running away and suicide? Doctor, what should I do? I am very scared to see such negative thoughts in my young children!

Xiao Xin, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/06/22

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, Xiaoxin: This is a cry for help from the child.
I suggest we first listen, take the time to carefully understand what difficulties the child is facing, and how we can assist them.
A child's emotional state can significantly impact their learning, and for a child to achieve emotional stability, it is essential for parents to first stabilize their own emotions.
Only by taking care of ourselves can we effectively support our children.
We need to be capable of holding space for the child's emotions in order to help them stabilize.
Academic performance is merely one reference point for learning outcomes; motivation and achievement in learning are far more important.
We should strive to create a joyful learning experience for the child, praise their strengths, and accompany them in facing and overcoming challenges, allowing their abilities to grow gradually.
It is advisable to try to convince ourselves not to overly focus on temporary grades.
The decision to enroll in after-school programs is also a topic for discussion; there is no absolute standard answer.
As long as we are willing to listen and collaborate with them to find solutions, the child should have the opportunity to stabilize and grow, and so will the parents.
If difficulties persist, seeking professional help is also an option.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2016/06/22

More Info

Addressing children's mental health, particularly in the context of academic pressure and suicidal thoughts, is a critical issue that requires immediate attention and a compassionate approach. As a working mother of two young children, it’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed by their emotional struggles and the pressures they face in school and after-school programs.

Firstly, it's essential to recognize that children, even at a young age, can experience significant stress and anxiety related to academic performance and social interactions. Your daughter’s comments about wanting to run away and your son’s expression of suicidal thoughts are serious indicators of distress. These statements should not be taken lightly, as they reflect their internal struggles and the pressure they feel from their environment.

Understanding the Root Causes
1. Academic Pressure: The current educational system often emphasizes grades and performance over the learning process itself. Your daughter’s reluctance to retake tests and her feelings of being overwhelmed suggest that she may be feeling the weight of expectations—both from herself and from external sources like teachers and parents. Similarly, your son’s struggles with a strict teacher and the resulting emotional outbursts indicate that he may be experiencing anxiety related to his academic performance.

2. Social Dynamics: Children are highly sensitive to their social environments. Bullying, peer pressure, and the desire to fit in can significantly impact their mental health. If your children are facing negative interactions at school or feeling isolated, it can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness.

3. Parental Expectations: As a parent, it’s natural to want the best for your children, but it’s crucial to balance expectations with understanding their individual needs and capabilities. Children may internalize parental pressure, leading to anxiety and feelings of failure when they cannot meet those expectations.

Steps to Take
1. Open Communication: Create a safe space for your children to express their feelings without fear of judgment. Encourage them to talk about their experiences at school, their feelings about homework, and any social issues they may be facing. Active listening is key—validate their feelings and let them know it’s okay to feel overwhelmed.

2. Seek Professional Help: Given the severity of your son’s statement about wanting to commit suicide, it is imperative to seek professional help immediately. A child psychologist or psychiatrist can provide a safe environment for your children to explore their feelings and develop coping strategies. They can also assess if there are underlying mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression, that need to be addressed.

3. Reevaluate Extracurricular Commitments: Consider whether the after-school program is beneficial for your children. If it adds to their stress, it may be worth discussing alternatives or reducing their commitments. Children need time to unwind and engage in activities they enjoy, which can help alleviate stress.

4. Focus on Emotional Well-being: Teach your children about emotional regulation and coping strategies. Mindfulness, relaxation techniques, and physical activities can help them manage stress. Encourage them to engage in hobbies or sports that they enjoy, which can provide a healthy outlet for their emotions.

5. Monitor Academic Pressure: Work with teachers to ensure that the academic environment is supportive rather than punitive. Discuss your concerns with their teachers and explore ways to create a more nurturing learning environment. Teachers can often provide additional support or accommodations for children who are struggling.

6. Model Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Children learn by observing their parents. Demonstrate healthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety. Share your own experiences and how you manage challenges, which can help them feel less alone in their struggles.

Conclusion
Addressing your children’s mental health requires a multifaceted approach that includes open communication, professional support, and a nurturing environment. By taking these steps, you can help your children navigate their feelings of pressure and anxiety, fostering resilience and emotional well-being. Remember, it’s crucial to act promptly, especially when suicidal thoughts are expressed, as early intervention can make a significant difference in their mental health journey.

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