School Bullying and Its Impact on Mental Health

Q: School Bullying and Its Impact on Mental Health

Hello Afa： Living under the dual pressures of family and school can be really tough for you! I suggest that you seek assistance from the psychiatric department at a hospital, where there are doctors, psychologists, and social workers available to help you address your concerns. <

School bullying

Hello, doctor.
I am a middle school student who has been bullied since the sixth grade and continues to be a victim of bullying in the eighth grade.
Specifically, the bullying I experience is mainly relational bullying (exclusion) and verbal bullying.
I hear classmates talking behind my back every day, and they avoid being near me.
When I walk past them, they scream and run away.
Since September of last year, the bullying has become even more severe; I am often publicly shamed by my entire class.
Most of the time, I haven't done anything that would affect my classmates' interests, such as arriving early to class or using my free time to help teachers.
Sometimes, I am even deliberately framed by my classmates.
I have tried seeking help from my homeroom teacher and the counseling department, but my concerns are not taken seriously.
It feels as if the teachers I speak to are not listening at all; my homeroom teacher even said it was my own fault and that I should improve myself.

In addition to the bullying, I also face academic pressure.
My parents have always been high achievers, so they have high expectations for me.
If I score below 90 on a test, they scold me.
Although there is no physical violence, I experience emotional manipulation daily.
With the combined pressures from school and home, I have started to feel inferior, questioning my worth and abilities.
I feel like I am not needed in this world, and I wonder if my family and classmates would be better off if I disappeared.
Sometimes, I even think about suicide.
Although I don’t often have nightmares, I wake up feeling like I am living in a nightmare.
I find myself overthinking and creating an ideal world in my mind, wishing I could escape there.
I also wonder if dying would allow me to reach that place.
I have started talking to myself, contemplating whether a car might hit me while crossing the street or if an accident (like an explosion or earthquake) might suddenly occur and end my life.

I have considered whether I might have depression or other psychological issues.
I took an online test, which indicated that I have mild depression.
I want to address my depression, but I am afraid to talk to my family about it.
The only person I can express these feelings to is my school counselor, but I only see them once a week, which is not enough support.
Over time, I feel like I have developed another version of myself.
When I experience various emotions (whether happy, angry, sad, or joyful), I pretend that another person is listening, and I respond to myself.
During this process, I feel as if there is a translucent version of me beside me, identical to myself.
However, I later realized that this other self has a different personality.
The original me is warm-hearted and enjoys comforting and healing things, while the other self is cold and indifferent, often ignoring others and even showing some violent tendencies.
Initially, this other self was just someone I confided in, but now it has started to influence my decisions and behavior, competing for control with my original self.
Sometimes I feel like I am my original self, and other times I feel like I am this other self.
I am beginning to lose track of who the real me is.
Who am I? Is my personality warm-hearted or cold? How many versions of me reside within my body? Do I have dissociative identity disorder? Am I emotionally unstable? I...

Afa, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2024/01/20

Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry

Hello Afa: Living under the dual pressures of family and school can be really tough for you! I suggest that you seek assistance from the psychiatric department at a hospital, where there are doctors, psychologists, and social workers available to help you address your concerns.
A doctor can assess whether you have depression or other issues such as dissociative identity disorder, a psychologist can provide counseling, and a social worker can assist you with issues related to school bullying and your relationship with your parents.
I hope you can bravely take this step and seek professional help; I believe there is a chance for improvement! Wishing you peace and health!

Reply Date: 2024/01/20

More Info

I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing. It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of distress due to bullying, academic pressure, and feelings of isolation. These experiences can significantly impact your mental health, leading to feelings of depression, anxiety, and confusion about your identity.

Bullying, especially relational and verbal bullying, can have profound effects on a person's mental health. It can lead to feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and depression, as you've described. The fact that your attempts to seek help from teachers have not been taken seriously is particularly concerning. It's essential for schools to create a safe environment for all students, and when that doesn't happen, it can exacerbate feelings of isolation and despair.

Your feelings of self-doubt and the thoughts of wanting to disappear are serious and indicate that you might be struggling with depression. The fact that you've taken an online test that suggested you might have mild depression is a sign that your feelings are valid and worth exploring further. It's crucial to talk to someone who can help you, such as a mental health professional, who can provide you with the support and guidance you need.

The coping mechanism you've developed, where you create an alternate persona to express your feelings, can be a way to manage overwhelming emotions. However, if this alternate self begins to influence your decisions and behaviors negatively, it may be a sign of deeper psychological distress that needs to be addressed. It's important to differentiate between these parts of yourself and understand that it's okay to seek help in navigating these feelings.

Here are some steps you can take to address your situation:
1. Talk to a Mental Health Professional: If you can, seek out a psychologist or counselor who specializes in adolescent mental health. They can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings and help you develop coping strategies.

2. Communicate with Your Family: It can be challenging to talk to your family about your feelings, especially if you're worried about their reaction. You might start by expressing that you're feeling overwhelmed and that you need support. You could also suggest that they accompany you to a counseling session to understand better what you're experiencing.

3. Document Your Experiences: Keeping a journal of your feelings and experiences can help you process your emotions and provide a way to communicate your struggles to a therapist or counselor.

4. Find Supportive Friends: While it may feel like you're isolated, try to connect with friends who are understanding and supportive. Having a support system can make a significant difference in how you cope with bullying and academic pressure.

5. Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's art, music, sports, or spending time in nature. Self-care is crucial for mental health.

6. Educate Yourself: Learning more about mental health can empower you to understand your feelings better and advocate for yourself. There are many resources available online that can provide valuable information.

7. Consider School Resources: If your school has a counseling center, consider reaching out to them for additional support. They may have resources or programs to help students dealing with bullying and mental health issues.

Remember, you are not alone in this, and there are people who can help you navigate these difficult feelings. It's essential to prioritize your mental health and seek the support you deserve.

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