Regarding children's psychological issues?
Hello Dr.
Lin,
I have a child in fifth grade and I would like to consult you about a concern regarding him.
The situation is as follows: my child’s overall learning performance is quite good; he usually studies hard and performs well in assignments and tests.
However, he tends to struggle during important exams.
Recently, he did not do well in his math test, and upon receiving the exam paper, he was very upset and cried.
However, after waking up from his nap, he surprisingly forgot about his math score and even the fact that he did poorly.
He genuinely forgot, and it wasn't until he came home from tutoring and needed to show me the exam paper for my signature that he remembered his unsatisfactory math score.
I recognize that I may be putting a lot of academic pressure on him, and I am worried that my excessive concern for his studies might be causing him harm.
However, I am even more concerned about an incident that occurred two years ago when family members discovered that he had been inappropriately touched by a cousin.
During that time, I took him to see a psychologist for counseling, but he was very resistant to seeing a doctor, so I stopped taking him.
I would like to ask you, doctor, whether this tendency of my child to avoid unhappy memories is caused by academic pressure, or could it be related to the trauma from two years ago? Given the uniqueness of this case, I am reaching out for your guidance on how I, as an anxious parent, should address this issue.
Thank you very much!
Xinji de jiazhang, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2008/12/08
Dr. Lin Yuzhong reply Psychiatry
Dear anxious parents: In psychiatry, there is a phenomenon known as "dissociation," which refers to a state of losing memory of an event when faced with significant stress.
However, this condition is not commonly observed in children.
A single instance of forgetfulness cannot be classified as such a symptom.
While an event that occurred two years ago may have had an impact, it is important to note that any form of sexual harassment can affect a child who is beginning to understand these matters.
I still recommend seeking treatment from a child and adolescent psychiatrist, and if necessary, consider longer-term psychotherapy.
Reply Date: 2008/12/08
More Info
Understanding children's psychological issues, especially in the context of academic pressure and past trauma, is crucial for their overall well-being and development. Your concerns about your child's performance and emotional responses are valid and reflect a deep care for their mental health.
Firstly, it is important to recognize that children can experience significant stress related to academic performance. The pressure to succeed, especially in high-stakes situations like important exams, can lead to anxiety and emotional distress. Your child's reaction to the poor math score—crying and then seemingly forgetting the incident—could be indicative of a coping mechanism known as dissociation. This is where a child may mentally distance themselves from a stressful event, leading to temporary memory loss about the incident. This behavior can be a way for the mind to protect itself from overwhelming emotions.
Moreover, the past trauma your child experienced, such as the inappropriate behavior from a family member, can have lasting effects on their emotional and psychological health. Trauma can manifest in various ways, including anxiety, depression, and difficulties in concentration or memory. It is not uncommon for children who have experienced trauma to struggle with emotional regulation, which can further complicate their academic performance. The combination of academic pressure and unresolved trauma may create a perfect storm for emotional distress.
Given these factors, it is essential to approach the situation with sensitivity and understanding. Here are some steps you might consider:
1. Open Communication: Foster an environment where your child feels safe to express their feelings. Encourage them to talk about their experiences, both in school and regarding the past trauma. This can help them process their emotions and reduce feelings of isolation.
2. Seek Professional Help: It is crucial to consult with a child psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in trauma and childhood development. Even if your child is resistant to therapy, a professional can provide guidance on how to approach the situation and may suggest alternative methods of therapy that could be more acceptable to your child.
3. Monitor Academic Pressure: Reflect on the expectations you have for your child regarding their academic performance. While it is important to encourage diligence and effort, it is equally important to ensure that they do not feel overwhelmed. Consider discussing with their teachers about ways to support your child in a less pressurized environment.
4. Teach Coping Strategies: Help your child develop healthy coping mechanisms for managing stress and anxiety. This could include mindfulness practices, relaxation techniques, or engaging in physical activities that they enjoy. These strategies can empower your child to handle academic pressures more effectively.
5. Create a Supportive Environment: Ensure that your home environment is supportive and nurturing. Celebrate their efforts rather than just the outcomes, and remind them that it is okay to make mistakes. This can help build resilience and a positive self-image.
6. Educate Yourself: Understanding the effects of trauma and academic pressure on children can equip you with the tools to better support your child. Consider reading books or attending workshops on child psychology and trauma-informed care.
In conclusion, your child's emotional responses and academic struggles may stem from a combination of past trauma and current pressures. It is essential to address both aspects with the help of professionals and through supportive parenting practices. By taking these steps, you can help your child navigate their challenges and foster a healthier emotional and academic life.
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