Emotional Struggles: Finding Meaning and Support - Psychiatry

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I don't know what's wrong with me?


Hello: I often experience emotional issues, but I don't understand why they occur or how to face and resolve them.
When emotions arise, I sometimes feel like my life has no meaning and I want to leave this world.
Various negative thoughts come to mind, and I find myself getting angrier and more verbally aggressive than before, but I feel guilty afterward for being so harsh.
I also feel more negative than I used to, sleeping more, easily doubting myself, and becoming increasingly afraid of social interactions.
Sometimes, when emotions surge, I don't know what to do, but I don't want to worry my family and friends, so I try to maintain a smile around them.
However, it’s exhausting.
I often feel useless, like a burden, unable to find meaning in life, and I frequently think that it would be better to just sleep and never wake up.
Unfortunately, that’s not possible.
Recently, for reasons I can't explain, I accidentally inflicted a few superficial scratches on my arms when my emotions flared up.
Although they are not deep, I don't know how to cope.
I have previously experienced overwhelming stress that led to a similar breakdown, but thankfully, those instances didn't leave scars.
I work hard to maintain a good front in front of my family and friends because I don't want to worry or hurt them, so I haven't acted out in any significant way.
They have never discovered what I'm going through, but I really don't know what's wrong with me.
I'm so tired.

Xiao Yang, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/07/14

Dr. Wang Zhenbang reply Psychiatry


Hello, Xiaoyang: Based on your description, it seems that you are experiencing the effects of depression, which is affecting your thinking, cognition, feelings, self-worth, and behavioral control in ways that are troubling you.
Although the information you have provided is not sufficient to determine the underlying cause of your depression, you have exhibited self-harming behaviors and thoughts of not wanting to live.
I strongly recommend that you seek help from other professionals.
If you are still in school, please inform the school counseling department about your situation.
If the school can arrange for specialized psychological care or counseling, please accept that arrangement.
If there are no arrangements available, you can also seek assistance from external psychiatric or psychosomatic clinics or hospitals.
I believe that everything causing you discomfort can improve with proper support and intervention.
Please do not be afraid; face and address these emotional struggles actively.
Wishing you all the best, Dr.
Wang Zhengbang, Chianan Psychiatric Hospital.

Reply Date: 2018/07/14

More Info


It sounds like you are going through a very challenging and overwhelming time emotionally. Your feelings of sadness, anger, and hopelessness are significant and deserve to be addressed with care and compassion. It's important to recognize that you are not alone in these struggles, and many people experience similar feelings at different points in their lives.

From what you've described, it seems that you are dealing with a range of emotional issues, including feelings of worthlessness, anxiety about social interactions, and even self-harm. These are serious concerns that can affect your mental health and overall well-being. It's commendable that you are trying to maintain a brave face for your family and friends, but it's also crucial to acknowledge your own needs and feelings.

Firstly, it’s essential to understand that experiencing emotional struggles does not make you weak or inadequate. Emotions are complex, and sometimes they can feel overwhelming. The feelings of anger and guilt you mentioned are common in individuals who are under significant emotional distress. When we feel trapped in negative thoughts, it can lead to a cycle of self-criticism and despair. This cycle can be hard to break, but it is possible with the right support and strategies.

You mentioned that you sometimes feel like you have no purpose or meaning in life. This is a profound feeling that many people experience, especially during tough times. Finding meaning in life is a personal journey, and it often involves exploring your interests, values, and what brings you joy. It might be helpful to engage in activities that you once enjoyed or to try new things that spark your curiosity. This exploration can sometimes lead to rediscovering passions and interests that can provide a sense of purpose.

Moreover, the urge to self-harm is a serious signal that you are in distress. It’s a way some people cope with overwhelming emotions, but it’s important to find healthier coping mechanisms. Talking to someone about these feelings can be incredibly beneficial. Whether it’s a trusted friend, family member, or a mental health professional, sharing your experiences can help lighten the emotional load. Professional help, such as therapy, can provide you with tools to manage your emotions and develop healthier coping strategies.

You also mentioned feeling exhausted from maintaining a facade of happiness for your loved ones. It’s okay to let them know that you are struggling. True friends and family will want to support you, and sharing your feelings can help them understand what you are going through. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.

If you are considering seeking professional help, I encourage you to do so. A mental health professional can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings and develop strategies to cope with them. They can also help you understand the underlying causes of your emotional struggles and work with you to create a plan for healing.

In summary, it’s vital to acknowledge your feelings and seek support. You are not alone in this, and there are people and resources available to help you navigate through these difficult emotions. Remember, taking the first step towards seeking help is a sign of strength, and it can lead to a path of healing and self-discovery. You deserve to feel better and to find joy and meaning in your life again.

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