Navigating Emotional Turmoil: Finding Peace Amid Exam Anxiety

Emotional ups and downs?

Hello, Doctor: I want to know if I can admit that I'm tired.
I've been preparing for teacher recruitment exams for eight years and often find myself in a state where I can't concentrate on studying, feeling like my mind is about to explode.
It's frustrating, yet I haven't been able to make the decision to change paths.
As I get older, I have more worries, especially when everyone around me is getting married and having children, which makes me a bit confused about my choices.
For me, the exam seems to be a significant event, but I find myself not putting in my best effort for this important milestone.
As the exam season approaches, I often feel sad when I see others performing better than me.
This year, there are more vacancies than ever, which makes it feel like if I miss this opportunity, it will be gone forever.
I'm worried that everyone will pass this year, but I...
However, being caught up in these worries only makes my situation worse.
I really want to know how to forget that feeling of sadness; otherwise, it lingers in my mind.
I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but I genuinely want to know how to feel better.
I realize that if I can stabilize my emotions, I can perform well, but this emotional turmoil causes me to fluctuate between feeling capable and feeling defeated.
Essentially, I am almost always emotionally unstable.
And to be honest, my emotions often trouble me so much that I can't study, and when I share this with others, they often don't believe me, which hurts.
It feels like I'm losing to myself, failing to give my all, but I can accept that it's truly my emotions that are holding me back.
Am I really tired? I get frustrated with myself for not being able to prepare wholeheartedly for the exam, feeling anxious while studying, worrying that if others succeed, I will be very upset.
I know I shouldn't dwell on these thoughts, yet I still do.
Lately, I feel like I'm hypnotizing myself into believing that failure has its reasons, even torturing myself with the thought that if others succeed, I will feel sad.
Shouldn't I focus on working hard to succeed myself? Can I accept that my emotional state is what makes me feel powerless? Perhaps because I'm a teacher, I find it difficult to separate my experiences from my self-worth.
I often observe children and their performances, and the whole system seems to reinforce this connection.
If I could distinguish my experiences from my self-worth, what would that look like? A child can exhibit many behaviors that make one shake their head, yet they can still be wonderful.
Why can't I make that connection? I feel like I've equated my performance with my self-worth, so is it possible to detach from that? Children and teachers can be forgiving because that's the essence of education, but once in society, can abilities and experiences be separated from self-worth? Perhaps this has always been my confusion.
I've been seeing a psychiatrist for almost a year, starting with medication, then going off it, and now back to sleep aids.
This month, I'm back on medication, and I find it absurd that I've been discussing the topic of exams for almost a year, feeling like I'm going in circles.
I keep asking when I will be okay, and the doctor says he can't tell me.
Although I smile on the outside, my heart feels like it's bleeding, and I hope to stop feeling sad.
How should I get through this last month? (Should I worry about the exam or about separating from the children? I can't even talk about it because I might end up substituting in the same class again.) There are so many mixed emotions; how can I navigate through this? I just want to stabilize my emotions, and I even wish to just get the exam over with, as if that would bring relief.
(But this cycle every year is quite overwhelming! I feel a sense of release right after the exam, but as the exam date approaches, I feel increasingly uneasy, and it gets more exaggerated as I age.) I have no ambition at all.
Thank you.

spur, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2012/05/24

Dr. Lin Junyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, it seems that you are feeling quite down, and it sounds like your negative thinking is causing you distress.
People often worry excessively about performing poorly.
At this time, if you can shift your focus from your performance to the work itself, your anxiety may improve! I suggest that while we may not have full control over the results of exams or the future of children, we can try to take charge of our daily study progress or teaching schedule.
By taking control of this aspect, your feelings of uncertainty may lessen.
In fact, most people cannot achieve perfection; doing your best is sufficient.
Wishing you all the best!

Reply Date: 2012/05/24

More Info

Navigating the emotional turmoil associated with exam anxiety can be a daunting challenge, especially when compounded by the pressures of societal expectations and personal aspirations. It’s completely valid to feel exhausted and overwhelmed after years of preparation and uncertainty regarding your future. Acknowledging your feelings of fatigue and frustration is the first step toward finding a healthier way to cope with these emotions.

Firstly, it's important to recognize that the feelings you are experiencing are not uncommon among individuals who are under significant pressure, particularly in high-stakes situations like exams. The anxiety stemming from comparisons with others, fear of failure, and the weight of expectations can create a cycle of negative thoughts that are hard to break. It’s crucial to understand that you are not alone in this struggle, and many people face similar challenges.

One effective strategy for managing exam-related anxiety is to shift your focus from the outcome of the exam to the process of studying itself. Instead of fixating on how others perform or the fear of not succeeding, try to concentrate on what you can control: your study habits and daily routines. Setting small, achievable goals can help you regain a sense of agency and reduce feelings of helplessness. For instance, rather than aiming to study for several hours straight, break your study sessions into manageable chunks with short breaks in between. This approach can help maintain your focus and prevent burnout.

Additionally, practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques can be beneficial in managing anxiety. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or even gentle physical activities like yoga can help calm your mind and reduce stress levels. These practices encourage you to stay present and can provide a much-needed respite from the overwhelming thoughts that often accompany exam preparation.

It’s also essential to cultivate a supportive environment. Sharing your feelings with trusted friends, family members, or colleagues can provide emotional relief and help you feel less isolated. Sometimes, simply talking about your worries can lighten the burden you carry. If you feel comfortable, consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional, especially since you have been in therapy for a year. They can offer tailored strategies and coping mechanisms to help you navigate this challenging period.

Regarding the feelings of inadequacy and the pressure to compare yourself with others, it’s vital to remember that everyone’s journey is unique. The educational and career paths of your peers do not diminish your own experiences or achievements. It might be helpful to remind yourself of your strengths and the efforts you have put into your studies over the years. Reflecting on your accomplishments, no matter how small, can help rebuild your self-esteem and provide motivation.

Lastly, as you approach the final month before your exams, consider implementing a self-care routine that prioritizes your mental and emotional well-being. This could include engaging in hobbies you enjoy, spending time with loved ones, or simply allowing yourself to rest when needed. Balancing study with self-care is crucial in maintaining your overall well-being.

In conclusion, it’s okay to feel tired and overwhelmed, and recognizing these feelings is a significant step toward healing. By focusing on what you can control, practicing mindfulness, seeking support, and prioritizing self-care, you can navigate this emotional turmoil more effectively. Remember, it’s not just about the exams; it’s about your overall well-being and finding peace amid the chaos.

Similar Q&A

Effective Strategies to Overcome Exam Anxiety and Nervousness

I would like to ask, I often feel uncomfortable or anxious due to exams or unfamiliar environments. Is this because I haven't prepared myself mentally? Are there medical treatments available for these symptoms? Or are there any methods to cope with this? I have an exam comin...

Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry
Hello: From the issues you've described, it is clear that you have an adjustment disorder, which you often manifest through symptoms of anxiety. Are you someone who tends to be impatient and frequently puts a lot of pressure on yourself, often displaying tense emotions? Indi...

Overcoming Comparison: Finding Happiness Beyond Academic Pressure

Hello Doctor: A few days ago, I read a news article discussing how comparing oneself to friends can lead to unhappiness, especially for those who feel uncertain about themselves. It mentioned that the best approach is to be content and not blame external circumstances. I have bee...

Dr. Chen Yuying reply Psychiatry
Hello Soul: First, I want to apologize for the delay in my response, which has been a month and a half. Regarding how to regain motivation in life, you have already provided your own answer—you mentioned that you only feel happy when you are in class or spending time with childre...

Understanding Mental Stress: Coping with Anxiety and Impulses

I would like to ask, I am currently retaking exams and rely on masturbation to relieve stress every day. I really want to quit, but I can't control the impulse. I also have mild insomnia and sometimes suddenly feel depressed and lethargic. I easily feel irritable or anxious....

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello, the period of retaking exams can indeed be a challenging process. I suggest you adopt various stress-relief methods, such as listening to music, reading, exercising, chatting with friends, or engaging in creative activities. Sometimes, taking timely breaks can make your su...

Overcoming Inner Burdens: Navigating Anxiety in Education

School has started for a while now, and I suddenly feel like I'm back in a state of anxiety after having adjusted well initially. This may be due to: 1. The upcoming teacher recruitment exams, and my reluctance to study. 2. Issues in teaching that weigh heavily on me, such a...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello, each child has a unique personality and background, making it quite challenging to teach all children to be obedient in school. In fact, it often requires collaboration among parents, mentors, and other teachers or staff to achieve better results. The role of a teacher is ...