Regarding gender transition?
Hello, Doctor: I first attempted to dress as a woman around the middle grades of elementary school, and no one noticed.
Since middle school until now, I have dressed as a woman alone in my room, and again, no one knows because I am not yet mentally prepared.
At first, dressing up was exciting, but it didn't take long for that feeling to fade; I just felt that this look suited me better.
I have taken many online psychological and brain tests, and about 80% of the results indicate a female identity.
Additionally, I really dislike the feeling of having male genitalia, which has led me to consider gender transition.
I identify as asexual and strongly dislike the sensation of sexual activity; I have never engaged in it.
I believe my mindset aligns more with a gender-neutral female, as I tend to think in a calm and non-impulsive manner.
I am uncertain whether I should transition, even though I want to.
I have heard that there can be side effects post-transition, such as uncertain life expectancy (excluding suicide and depression).
I do not smoke or drink, maintain a light diet, and exercise more than three times a week for five hours.
Following medical advice, if I can still expect to live to 70-80 years or more, I would almost certainly consider transitioning, but opinions on life expectancy vary widely.
I have a slight tendency towards Asperger's, and I am somewhat shy.
I can interact with both same-sex and opposite-sex individuals, and I have a somewhat androgynous appearance.
I excel at observing others' emotional changes, possibly due to being small and bullied in elementary school, which developed my habit of understanding others' thoughts.
Although I have Asperger's, I do not have social issues; I just take longer to engage.
My closest friends are evenly split between males and females.
Although I attended an all-boys high school, I initially struggled with interacting with females.
However, after observing, I found that I could converse better with women.
I am emotionally sensitive, and my feelings can fluctuate easily (I tend to overthink), but my exterior is not easily judged.
I have experienced a few emotional breakdowns, mostly due to disliking my current appearance.
Fortunately, my parents generally understand and are willing to support me, as long as I consider everything carefully.
In summary, I believe I do not fit the stereotype of many male-to-female transgender individuals seen on television; I feel more aligned with the YouTuber "Jiong Xing Ren" (I perceive myself as a gender-neutral female rather than a gender-neutral male).
However, I strongly dislike male genitalia, which can only be changed through gender-affirming surgery.
I hope to live healthily; I dislike heavy makeup but also strongly detest masculine attire like suits.
Currently, it seems difficult to categorize me as a transsexual (not that feminine) or a cross-dresser (not excited by dressing up).
I feel very conflicted right now and would like to know your thoughts or suggestions regarding my situation.
Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/08/25
Dr. Huang Jiabin reply Psychiatry
Hello: From the perspective of gender issues, a person's gender encompasses many layers: biological sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, and gender roles, among others.
It seems that you are most troubled by the physical characteristics of biological sex.
In the clinical setting, I will assess the extent to which gender identity affects the acceptance of these physical characteristics.
We will explore whether psychological therapy and pharmacological treatment can address these concerns.
Surgery is the most invasive intervention and will only be recommended if both psychological therapy and pharmacological treatment have not shown significant effectiveness.
Reply Date: 2018/08/25
More Info
Navigating gender identity is a deeply personal journey that can involve a range of emotions, experiences, and decisions. Your reflections on your identity, feelings, and experiences are important, and it's commendable that you are seeking to understand yourself better.
From what you've described, it seems you have been exploring your gender identity for quite some time, starting from a young age. The feelings of excitement when dressing in a way that feels more authentic to you, followed by a sense of normalcy, indicate that you may be aligning more with a female identity. The results from online psychological tests suggesting a female identity can also provide some validation, but they should be taken as one of many tools in your self-discovery process.
Your discomfort with your male anatomy and the desire to transition are significant indicators of gender dysphoria, which many transgender individuals experience. It's important to recognize that this feeling is valid and that many people share similar experiences. The fact that you identify as asexual and have no interest in sexual activity adds another layer to your identity, which is perfectly valid. Gender identity and sexual orientation are distinct aspects of who we are, and they can intersect in various ways.
Regarding your concerns about transitioning, it's understandable to have apprehensions about the potential risks and side effects associated with hormone therapy and surgery. While there are risks involved, many individuals find that the benefits of transitioning—such as improved mental health, reduced dysphoria, and a greater sense of self—outweigh these risks. It's crucial to have thorough discussions with healthcare professionals who specialize in transgender health to understand the options available to you, including hormone therapy, surgical options, and the potential impacts on your health and longevity.
Your lifestyle choices, such as maintaining a healthy diet and regular exercise, are positive factors that can contribute to your overall well-being and may help mitigate some health risks associated with transitioning. It's also worth noting that many transgender individuals lead healthy, fulfilling lives well into their later years, especially when they have access to appropriate medical care and support.
The emotional struggles you mentioned, including feelings of frustration with your current appearance and occasional emotional breakdowns, are common among individuals exploring their gender identity. It's essential to have a support system in place, whether through friends, family, or support groups for transgender individuals. Connecting with others who have similar experiences can provide valuable insights and emotional support.
Your observations about your social interactions and emotional sensitivity are also important. Many individuals on the autism spectrum, like yourself, may have unique ways of relating to others and understanding emotions. This can be a strength in navigating relationships and understanding the complexities of gender identity.
In summary, your journey towards understanding your gender identity is valid and important. It may be beneficial to seek out a mental health professional who specializes in gender identity issues to help you navigate your feelings and options. They can provide support as you explore the possibility of transitioning and help you address any concerns you may have about the process. Remember, this journey is yours to define, and taking the time to understand yourself is a crucial step towards living authentically.
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