Struggling with Mental Health and Job Challenges: A Personal Journey

Q: Struggling with Mental Health and Job Challenges: A Personal Journey

Hello Jason： There are no standard answers to such matters. <br>Although you are unwell, you continue to work hard. <br>Despite facing setbacks, you strive to maintain your position, which are all your strengths and efforts. <br>Being sick is not your fault, and life is sometimes

My current dilemma?

Hello, Doctor: I have always been a slow-moving person, but I do my work diligently! I am currently working in a rice ball factory, and sometimes I feel bored with the monotonous tasks I do every day, such as washing and stir-frying pickled vegetables, washing rice, cooking, and cleaning.
Perhaps for me, having a job is enough, and I shouldn't ask for more! However, besides being slow at work, I might also have a learning disability.
Although I have a mild mental health diagnosis, I take my job seriously.
I used to be a perfectionist, and I would never give up until I was satisfied with my work! However, after getting sick and interacting with others, I have gradually improved, but I still find it difficult to communicate! My straightforward personality often causes misunderstandings with others without me realizing it.
My cooking skills have always been weak, so when I stir-fry pickled vegetables, I either don't mix them evenly, resulting in inconsistent saltiness, or I cook them for too long.
This month, I was late five times due to oversleeping and being lazy.
Just yesterday, I was thinking: this job doesn't provide labor insurance, and while the heavy work is manageable, if I get injured and need to take leave, I not only lose money for that day but also have a day’s salary deducted.
It’s like working a day for free! Moreover, since it’s a private factory, it doesn't follow labor laws! There are no options for unpaid leave either, because there are only so many people hired, and when one person takes leave, the workload increases for everyone else! Therefore, some people in the factory, including seniors, work while injured! Today, a senior told me that the boss is willing to give me another chance! I don’t know if that’s fortunate or unfortunate? After all, very few people are willing to stay in such working conditions.
Furthermore, the senior mentioned that most applicants are older men who can’t handle the heavy work! I know I need to cherish this opportunity because I can't guarantee that I won't be let go next time! I still have the bad habit of oversleeping and being lazy! I know my brain is different from others due to my mental illness! But if this continues, I will always be stuck in a cycle of job searching and getting fired for oversleeping! When I was unemployed and no one would hire me, I used to sleep excessively! I wasn't taking my medication regularly either.
Now that I have a job, I still oversleep! But I sometimes take my medication and sometimes don’t! Moreover, taking medication doesn’t make me smarter or anything; I still get scolded by my seniors every day! My slow movements and oversleeping are just some of my issues...
I'm almost 40 years old! Is this how my life is going to be? Failing and repeating failures over and over again! Not to mention the problem of getting up in the freezing winter! I feel guilty towards my deceased mother and those who have helped me in the past! When I was young and in my teenage years, I made many mistakes and caused a lot of trouble; if I had to repay them with money, I could never afford it! I’m starting to hate myself for being this way! I resent myself for being so unaccomplished! I hate that I keep doing this! My dad often says that whenever neighbors hear my name, they shake their heads! I wonder how my mom could have given birth to someone so useless...
If she hadn’t given birth to me, maybe she would have had a clearer mind and wouldn’t have passed away so early! Later, due to being late multiple times from oversleeping, everyone has a poor impression of me! They either ignore me or speak to me harshly.
I never expected it would turn out this way! It shows how serious my condition is! Moreover, I live in the factory! Every day I have to clean the garbage, which they don’t sort properly, so I have to sift through the trash every day, even if it contains toilet paper or smells terrible! All of this has made me think about quitting, but jobs are hard to find, especially since I am a person with disabilities; it’s uncertain whether employers will hire me, and I’m almost 40! I don’t know how much longer I can endure! Every day is a struggle! Plus, with the New Year approaching, jobs are hard to find, and many others are waiting to leave after receiving their year-end bonuses.
I don’t know if I can hold on until then! I also don’t want to spend my youth and time in a place that doesn’t comply with labor laws! Furthermore, they have started to bully me; they cook rice super fast, making it hard for me to serve it in time! Their goal is to make me leave! Previously, when I was quick in serving rice, the senior said I was being arrogant and couldn’t continue like that, so he told the senior I work with to cook faster.
Now, every time I can’t serve the rice in time, the senior whistles beside me, making me feel uncomfortable! The senior I work with now ignores me and lets me work alone without guidance.
Even if I oversleep, no matter what I do, I can’t gain their understanding! Moreover, the senior previously told me that cleaning the garbage could earn me a 1000 NT bonus, but now I’m furious every day while cleaning the garbage! Because I wash black rice very slowly, they told the boss to change my duties, which resulted in an older man who originally didn’t have to wash black rice switching roles with me, and ever since he started washing black rice, he has been furious and has expressed his discontent towards me! I personally feel that they are all part of a conspiracy, having designed this from the beginning to make everyone dislike me! What should I do? I want to quit now! But I don’t know if I can hold on until after the New Year to receive my year-end bonus before leaving! Jobs are hard to find, and I don’t know where my next job will be! I don’t know when I will find work again! Plus, I currently have carpal tunnel syndrome, which makes it inconvenient to do certain tasks, and I might need to rest and rehabilitate for a while! I’m worried about how to manage my expenses moving forward! Since the beginning, no matter where I go, I have no social connections or friends, which makes me shake my head in disbelief! Can you please tell me how I can improve? I would be very grateful.

Jason, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/11/14

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello Jason: There are no standard answers to such matters.
Although you are unwell, you continue to work hard.
Despite facing setbacks, you strive to maintain your position, which are all your strengths and efforts.
Being sick is not your fault, and life is sometimes imperfect and filled with stress.
Getting through a day is a success in itself.
Even when faced with unhappy situations, you can encourage yourself, having successfully navigated through another day's challenges.
Some things can only be managed to the best of our ability, but we cannot fully control them.
Accepting the current situation and focusing on the present usually helps.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2018/11/14

More Info

Hello, thank you for sharing your journey and struggles with mental health and job challenges. It sounds like you are facing a multitude of difficulties, both in your work environment and in managing your mental health. I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to express these feelings and seek help.

From what you've described, it seems that you are experiencing significant stress and frustration in your current job at the rice ball factory. The repetitive nature of the work, combined with the lack of support from colleagues and the pressure to perform quickly, is understandably overwhelming. Additionally, your concerns about your mental health, including the impact of your condition on your work performance, are valid and deserve attention.

First, it's important to recognize that feeling overwhelmed in a job, especially one that is physically demanding and lacks proper support, is not uncommon. Many individuals in similar situations experience feelings of inadequacy and frustration. Your acknowledgment of your challenges, such as being slow in your tasks and struggling with communication, shows self-awareness, which is a crucial step toward improvement.

Here are some suggestions that may help you navigate this challenging period:
1. Seek Professional Support: It sounds like you may benefit from speaking with a mental health professional who can provide you with coping strategies tailored to your situation. Therapy can help you process your feelings of inadequacy and develop skills to manage anxiety and stress. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for addressing negative thought patterns and improving coping mechanisms.

2. Medication Management: If you are currently on medication for your mental health condition, it’s essential to ensure that you are taking it consistently. Medication can help stabilize your mood and improve your overall functioning. If you have concerns about your medication, discussing these with your psychiatrist or healthcare provider can lead to adjustments that may better suit your needs.

3. Set Small, Achievable Goals: Instead of focusing on the overwhelming aspects of your job, try to set small, manageable goals for each day. This could be as simple as completing a specific task or improving your speed in one area. Celebrate these small victories to build your confidence.

4. Communicate with Your Supervisor: If possible, have an open conversation with your supervisor about your challenges. Expressing your willingness to improve and asking for guidance or support can sometimes lead to a more understanding work environment. They may not be aware of the difficulties you are facing.

5. Explore Alternative Job Opportunities: While it may feel daunting, consider looking for job opportunities that align better with your skills and mental health needs. There are organizations that specialize in helping individuals with disabilities find suitable employment. They may provide additional support and resources.

6. Practice Self-Care: Incorporate self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include mindfulness exercises, physical activity, or hobbies that bring you joy. Taking care of your mental and physical health is crucial, especially during stressful times.

7. Connect with Supportive People: Building a support network, whether through friends, family, or support groups, can provide you with encouragement and understanding. Sharing your experiences with others who have faced similar challenges can help alleviate feelings of isolation.

8. Consider Your Long-Term Goals: Reflect on what you want for your future. Setting long-term goals can provide motivation and direction. Whether it’s pursuing further education, finding a different job, or improving your mental health, having a vision can help guide your actions.

9. Address Physical Health Issues: Since you mentioned having wrist issues, it’s important to address these with a healthcare professional. Pain can significantly impact your ability to work effectively, so seeking treatment or rehabilitation can help you manage this aspect of your health.

In conclusion, while your current situation feels challenging, it’s essential to remember that change is possible. By taking proactive steps, seeking support, and focusing on small improvements, you can work towards a more fulfilling and manageable life. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to find a path that leads to greater satisfaction and well-being. Please take care of yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when needed.

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