Interpersonal relationships
Hello, doctor.
I've always had trouble reading situations (I'm somewhat oblivious), which has resulted in having very few friends and not being good at interacting with others.
Sometimes, when chatting with people I'm not familiar with, my mind goes blank, and I get anxious about saying the wrong thing or appearing unnatural.
I want to blend in naturally with groups, but it seems a bit challenging for me.
Additionally, I have a sensitive personality; I can easily feel happy over small things and also get angry quickly, especially when I feel criticized or disliked, which often leads to overreactions.
My job requires me to interact with people frequently (which I enjoy), but I often feel exhausted.
I know I should self-regulate, but I'm unsure where to start.
Moreover, compared to those around me, I tend to be forgetful and can become anxious over minor issues (for example, forgetting to take something with me or whether I locked the door).
Most days are fine, but recently I've been contemplating whether I need to make some changes.
I'm not sure if this situation is simply a personality issue or if I need counseling assistance.
Niming, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2019/10/12
Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
Hello, online friend: It sounds like this is just part of your personality.
If most days are going relatively well, it indicates that you are not overly troubled.
What you need to do is practice getting along with your own personality and learn interpersonal skills from your experiences.
Of course, if you wish to make some changes, psychotherapy is also worth considering.
Dr.
Wu En-Liang
Reply Date: 2019/10/12
More Info
Navigating social anxiety and building better relationships can be a challenging journey, especially for those who feel they struggle with social interactions and self-expression. Your concerns about feeling out of place in social situations, experiencing anxiety over potential missteps in conversation, and being sensitive to criticism are common among individuals dealing with social anxiety. Here are some strategies and insights that may help you in this process.
Understanding Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one may be judged or scrutinized by others. This can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as not engaging in conversations or withdrawing from social events. It's important to recognize that social anxiety is a common issue and can be managed with the right strategies and support.
Building Confidence in Social Situations
1. Practice Active Listening: One effective way to engage in conversations is to focus on listening. When you actively listen, you can respond to what others are saying rather than worrying about what to say next. This can help ease the pressure you feel during interactions.
2. Start Small: Begin by initiating small conversations with acquaintances or colleagues. Simple greetings or comments about your surroundings can serve as low-pressure interactions that help you build confidence.
3. Prepare Topics: Before entering social situations, think of a few topics you can discuss. These could be current events, shared interests, or even light-hearted questions. Having a mental list can alleviate the anxiety of not knowing what to say.
4. Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you feel anxious about social interactions, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support your fears. Often, we exaggerate the potential for negative outcomes. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s okay to be imperfect.
5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporating mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or meditation, can help reduce anxiety. These techniques can ground you in the present moment and alleviate feelings of overwhelm.
Managing Sensitivity and Emotional Responses
1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your emotional responses. Understanding why certain comments or situations trigger strong feelings can help you manage your reactions better. Journaling can be a useful tool for this.
2. Set Boundaries: If you find certain interactions consistently lead to negative feelings, it’s okay to set boundaries. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who respect your feelings and encourage positive interactions.
3. Seek Feedback: If you’re unsure about how you come across in social situations, consider seeking feedback from trusted friends or colleagues. They can provide insights that may help you adjust your approach without feeling overly critical of yourself.
Seeking Professional Support
If you find that your social anxiety significantly impacts your daily life or work, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide tailored strategies to manage anxiety and improve social skills. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for social anxiety, as it focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors.
Conclusion
Navigating social anxiety and building better relationships is a process that takes time and practice. By implementing small, manageable strategies, you can gradually increase your confidence in social situations. Remember that it’s okay to seek help if you feel overwhelmed. Professional support can provide you with the tools you need to thrive socially and emotionally. You are not alone in this journey, and with persistence, you can develop the skills to foster meaningful connections with others.
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