Overcoming Social Anxiety and Depression: Tips for Building Connections - Psychiatry

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Social anxiety/depression?


Sometimes I feel like I have social anxiety.
Making friends isn't too difficult for me, but I don't have many friends.
I often find myself thinking, "I really envy those who are well-liked and good at socializing, or the popular figures in school..." I sometimes feel anxious about not being able to be like them.
When I talk to people, I can be hesitant and get nervous halfway through, which leads to slurred speech or a stiff facial expression.
I feel a bit panicked and struggle to continue the conversation, and I can't maintain eye contact for too long, especially with those who are well-liked or appear sociable.
Although I have fewer issues talking to cashiers, I feel intimidated by salespeople who actively engage customers, especially when buying clothes or shoes, which makes me anxious about those situations.
Is this a mindset issue, or is there something I can do to improve?

Xiao Shen, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/07/18

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Hello: During social interactions, it is advisable to focus on understanding what the other person is trying to express rather than thinking about how to respond.
This way, the other person will often feel valued, and you will also reduce anxiety during the interaction by being attentive.
You have some friends who feel anxious about not being able to respond appropriately to proactive salespeople, which shows that you are a kind person.
Everyone's nature is different; some are naturally introverted while others are extroverted.
It is also recommended that you appreciate your own strengths.

Reply Date: 2016/07/18

More Info


Overcoming social anxiety and depression can be a challenging journey, especially when you feel a disconnect between yourself and those who seem to navigate social situations effortlessly. It's important to recognize that many people experience similar feelings of inadequacy and anxiety in social settings, and you're not alone in this struggle. Here are some tips and insights that may help you build connections and manage your social anxiety.


Understanding Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one might be judged, embarrassed, or scrutinized. This fear can manifest in various ways, such as difficulty speaking, avoiding eye contact, or feeling physically tense. It's essential to understand that these feelings are common and can be addressed with the right strategies.


Building Confidence
1. Start Small: Begin by engaging in low-pressure social interactions. This could be as simple as greeting a cashier or making small talk with a classmate. Gradually increase the complexity of your interactions as you become more comfortable.

2. Practice Active Listening: Focus on what others are saying rather than worrying about how you are perceived. This can help ease the pressure you feel to perform in conversations and allow you to engage more naturally.

3. Role-Playing: Consider practicing conversations with a trusted friend or family member. Role-playing can help you prepare for real-life interactions and reduce anxiety.

4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or meditation, into your daily routine. These techniques can help calm your mind and reduce anxiety in social situations.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Pay attention to the negative thoughts that arise when you’re in social situations. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are based on facts or assumptions. Replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations can help shift your mindset.


Seeking Professional Help
If your social anxiety significantly impacts your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide you with tailored strategies and support. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for social anxiety, as it helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors.


Building Connections
1. Join Groups or Clubs: Engage in activities that interest you, such as clubs or classes. Being part of a group with shared interests can provide a natural context for socializing and help you connect with others.

2. Volunteer: Volunteering can be a great way to meet new people while contributing to a cause you care about. This shared purpose can ease the pressure of social interactions.

3. Be Patient with Yourself: Building connections takes time. Celebrate small victories and be kind to yourself during this process. Remember that everyone has their own pace when it comes to socializing.

4. Focus on Quality Over Quantity: It’s not about how many friends you have but the quality of those relationships. Invest time in nurturing a few meaningful connections rather than spreading yourself too thin.


Conclusion
Overcoming social anxiety and building connections is a gradual process that requires patience and practice. By taking small steps, challenging negative thoughts, and seeking support when needed, you can improve your social skills and confidence. Remember, it’s perfectly okay to feel anxious; what matters is how you choose to respond to those feelings. Embrace your uniqueness and recognize that everyone has their own struggles, even those who appear to be socially adept. With time and effort, you can create meaningful relationships and find comfort in social situations.

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