Self-Harm: Seeking Help for Emotional Pain and Coping - Psychiatry

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Behavioral abnormalities


I have had many negative childhood experiences, and when I am under stress or feeling pain, I tend to resort to masturbation.
However, I intentionally cause my body to cramp, believing that the pain can help me let go of things I shouldn't have done (like lying) or feelings of inadequacy (like not being first place).
It feels like I can punish myself with that pain.
I've been doing this for quite some time, but I want to quit this behavior.
Yet, I still occasionally find it hard to resist.
I feel like I am harming myself because it doesn't seem to provide sexual pleasure; I don't derive any happiness from it.
Should I see a doctor? I feel a lot of guilt when I think about it.

Nìmíng, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/02/05

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry


Hello, everyone: Everyone experiences sexual desire, especially young people.
Masturbation or sexual activity is a normal behavior and can indeed have a certain stress-relieving effect.
As long as it does not excessively interfere with daily life (for example, multiple times a day), it is generally not a problem.
Dr.
Wu Enliang

Reply Date: 2020/02/05

More Info


It sounds like you are experiencing a complex relationship with self-harm, particularly as a coping mechanism for emotional pain and distress. Your description indicates that you have been using self-harm as a way to manage feelings of guilt, shame, or inadequacy stemming from past experiences and current pressures. This behavior can often feel like a form of punishment for perceived failures or mistakes, which is a common theme among individuals who self-harm.

Self-harm, while it may provide temporary relief or a sense of control, is ultimately a maladaptive coping strategy. It can lead to a cycle of guilt and shame, as you mentioned, which can exacerbate feelings of emotional pain rather than alleviate them. The fact that you recognize this behavior as harmful and are seeking to change it is a significant first step.

In terms of whether you should seek professional help, the answer is a resounding yes. Engaging with a mental health professional can provide you with the support and tools necessary to address the underlying issues contributing to your self-harm. Therapists can help you explore the root causes of your emotional pain, teach you healthier coping mechanisms, and assist you in developing a more positive self-image. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) are two therapeutic approaches that have been shown to be effective for individuals struggling with self-harm and emotional regulation.

Additionally, it’s important to understand that self-harm is often a symptom of deeper psychological issues, such as depression, anxiety, or trauma. A mental health professional can help you assess whether there are underlying conditions that need to be addressed. They can also guide you in developing a safety plan for when you feel the urge to self-harm, which may include alternative coping strategies such as mindfulness, grounding techniques, or engaging in creative outlets.

Moreover, building a support system is crucial. This can include friends, family, or support groups where you can share your experiences and feelings without judgment. Connecting with others who understand what you’re going through can provide a sense of belonging and reduce feelings of isolation.

In the meantime, consider implementing some self-care practices that can help you manage your emotions in healthier ways. This might include regular physical activity, journaling, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. These activities can serve as positive outlets for your emotions and help you develop a more balanced emotional state.

Lastly, remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to confront painful emotions and behaviors, and reaching out for support is a vital step toward healing. You deserve to feel better and to find healthier ways to cope with the challenges you face. Don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional who can guide you on this journey.

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