Obsessive thinking
Hello, doctor.
After giving birth to my first child, I have been experiencing excessive health anxiety for almost four years.
For example, there is a salivary gland under my tongue that feels more prominent (I can only feel it when I touch it; it might not even be more prominent when viewed in the mirror).
It has felt this way for as long as I can remember, and it fluctuates in size with dry mouth or drinking water.
After having my child, I suddenly became very concerned about this area.
I have seen doctors who all said it’s nothing to worry about, but I can’t help but touch it to see if it feels the same.
If touching it once isn’t enough, I end up checking multiple times, and I can only resist the urge after making a firm decision to stop.
A few days later, I think about it again and start touching it again.
Similarly, I have a mole on my foot that I’ve had for as long as I can remember.
The doctor also said it’s fine, but I think about it every few days and measure it with a ruler, taking countless photos to convince myself it hasn’t changed.
I also notice blood vessels in the whites of my eyes, and I find myself checking in the mirror several times every few days.
Because I have been considering having a second child, I don’t want to take medication for now.
I have tried self-funded counseling for almost two years (I am no longer in counseling), but the counselor did not directly answer whether I have obsessive thoughts; they believe it’s just me labeling myself and falling into health anxiety.
However, with the counselor’s help, I have been able to resist sudden health anxiety thoughts better (for example, during a gathering, if I suddenly feel the urge to check for swollen lymph nodes in my neck, I can lightly touch my neck as if I’ve checked it and then accept the uncertainty while finishing the meal).
What troubles me now is that I feel like I can never return to my normal self.
Every day, I have several intrusive health anxiety thoughts.
Although I have reduced my checking behaviors, the sudden urges to touch my salivary gland under my tongue or measure my mole make me feel distressed and frustrated.
Sometimes, I even avoid looking at myself in the mirror (for fear of seeing blood vessels in my eyes and feeling the need to check).
I would like to ask the doctor, would medication be helpful? Are these behaviors indicative of obsessive thoughts? Should I view these worries as illusory? (But I can’t help but think, what if the mole grows and I don’t notice it because I didn’t check?) My husband says that if I feel any discomfort in my body, I shouldn’t rely on myself, who is not a doctor, to self-check, as it is a completely meaningless behavior...
Xiao W, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/03/19
Dr. Zhang Gengjia reply Psychiatry
Dear Sir/Madam,
From your letter, it is evident that you are experiencing discomfort and distress due to issues related to obsessive-compulsive tendencies and attention to detail.
Pharmacological treatment can provide a certain degree of relief, and long-term psychotherapy is also a viable treatment option to consider.
Additionally, regular outpatient follow-ups and discussions are very important.
Our clinic is open for outpatient services from Monday to Friday, both in the morning and afternoon.
I recommend that you consider visiting the clinic for a personal evaluation of your symptoms, so we can collaboratively determine the best course of action for you.
Wishing you mental and physical well-being.
Sincerely,
Dr.
Chang Geng-Jia
Department of Psychiatry
Reply Date: 2020/03/19
More Info
It sounds like you are experiencing significant health anxiety, which is often exacerbated by the stress of motherhood and the changes that come with it. Your concerns about your body and the compulsive checking behaviors you describe are common among individuals who struggle with anxiety, particularly after major life changes such as childbirth.
Health anxiety, also known as hypochondria, involves excessive worry about having a serious illness, even when medical evaluations suggest otherwise. This can lead to compulsive behaviors, such as repeatedly checking your body for signs of illness or seeking reassurance from medical professionals. In your case, the behaviors you describe—like checking your salivary glands, measuring moles, or inspecting your eyes—are indicative of compulsive thought patterns that can be associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
Your husband's perspective is valid; he emphasizes that self-checking is often unproductive and can lead to a cycle of anxiety. This aligns with the understanding that compulsive checking behaviors can provide temporary relief but ultimately reinforce the anxiety, making it worse over time. The more you check, the more you feel the need to check again, creating a vicious cycle.
You mentioned that you have tried counseling for nearly two years, which is a positive step. Therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), is often effective for health anxiety and OCD. CBT focuses on identifying and challenging irrational thoughts and beliefs, helping you to develop healthier coping mechanisms. It sounds like you have made progress in resisting the urge to check, which is commendable. However, the intrusive thoughts still seem to be a significant source of distress for you.
Regarding medication, it can be beneficial for some individuals with health anxiety or OCD. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are commonly prescribed and can help reduce the intensity of intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. However, the decision to start medication should be made in consultation with a healthcare provider who can assess your specific situation and discuss potential benefits and side effects.
It's also important to recognize that these intrusive thoughts are not necessarily reflective of reality. They are often exaggerated fears that can be viewed as "false alarms." Practicing mindfulness and grounding techniques can help you manage these thoughts when they arise. For instance, when you feel the urge to check, try to acknowledge the thought without acting on it. Remind yourself that the thought is just a thought, not a fact. This can help reduce the power these thoughts have over you.
Additionally, engaging in activities that promote relaxation and distraction can be beneficial. Exercise, meditation, and spending time with loved ones can help shift your focus away from your worries. It may also be helpful to establish a routine that includes self-care practices, which can improve your overall mental health.
In summary, while medication may be a helpful option for you, it's essential to continue working with a mental health professional to address your health anxiety. You have already made significant strides in managing your compulsive behaviors, and with continued support and the right strategies, you can work towards regaining a sense of normalcy in your life. Remember, it's okay to seek help and take the time you need to heal.
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