Anger: Coping with Emotional Distress and Self-Harm

When provoked?

Hello Doctor: I often have thoughts of wanting to die when I am angry or humiliated by others, but I have never actually acted on those thoughts.
The most I do is hide and engage in self-harm or throw things, which helps me calm down, but I still can't stop replaying the reasons that made me angry in my mind until something else distracts me.
Is this considered abnormal?

Nìmíng, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/04/21

Dr. Peng Liyun reply Psychiatry

Hello, you may want to consider whether you have coping strategies for these situations.
If you cannot find a suitable way to manage them, or if these issues are indeed affecting your daily life and interpersonal relationships, it is advisable to seek further evaluation and treatment at a hospital.
Treatment options typically vary based on the severity of the condition.
Our hospital offers outpatient services every Monday to Friday, both in the morning and afternoon, as well as on Saturday mornings and public holidays (excluding Sundays).
We recommend that you consider bringing your family for an evaluation to discuss the best treatment options together.

Reply Date: 2020/04/21

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of emotional distress, particularly when it comes to managing feelings of anger and frustration. Your feelings are valid, and it's important to recognize that many people struggle with similar issues. The fact that you are seeking to understand and cope with these emotions is a positive step forward.

From what you've described, it seems that you may be dealing with a combination of anger management issues and possibly underlying emotional distress. When you feel angry or insulted, it's common to have thoughts of self-harm or to engage in self-destructive behaviors as a way to cope with those intense feelings. While these behaviors may provide temporary relief, they do not address the root causes of your anger or the feelings of humiliation you experience.

It's crucial to understand that feeling angry is a normal human emotion, but how we express that anger can significantly impact our mental health and relationships. Engaging in self-harm or destructive behaviors is not a healthy coping mechanism and can lead to further emotional turmoil. Instead, finding healthier ways to manage your anger and emotional distress is essential.

Here are some strategies that may help you cope with your emotions more effectively:
1. Identify Triggers: Take some time to reflect on what specifically triggers your anger or feelings of humiliation. Understanding these triggers can help you prepare for and manage your reactions in the future.

2. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga, can help you stay grounded and reduce feelings of anger. These practices encourage you to focus on the present moment and can help you gain perspective on your emotions.

3. Physical Activity: Engaging in regular physical exercise can be an effective way to release pent-up energy and reduce stress. Activities like running, swimming, or even walking can help improve your mood and provide a constructive outlet for your emotions.

4. Express Yourself: Find healthy outlets for your emotions, such as journaling, art, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist. Expressing your feelings can help you process them and reduce the intensity of your anger.

5. Seek Professional Help: If you find that your anger and emotional distress are overwhelming or leading to self-harm, it may be beneficial to seek help from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools to manage your emotions and address any underlying issues contributing to your distress.

6. Develop Coping Strategies: Work on developing coping strategies that you can use when you feel anger rising. This could include taking a break from the situation, using positive affirmations, or engaging in a calming activity.

7. Avoid Substance Use: Sometimes, individuals turn to substances like alcohol or drugs to cope with emotional pain. However, these can exacerbate feelings of anger and lead to further issues. It's best to avoid these substances and seek healthier alternatives.

8. Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can help you navigate your emotions. Having a strong support system can make a significant difference in how you cope with anger and distress.

It's important to remember that you are not alone in this struggle, and seeking help is a sign of strength. By taking proactive steps to understand and manage your emotions, you can work towards a healthier and more balanced emotional state. If you ever feel overwhelmed, please reach out to a mental health professional who can provide you with the support you need.

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