Psychological stress
I am 26 years old.
Last August, I interned as a part-time worker at 7-11, but my boss recently said that there are too many part-time workers and asked me to find another job.
My parents keep asking why I need to find work again, constantly reminding me that I am unemployed, so I am desperately looking for jobs.
I don’t mind working two or three jobs.
I used to dream of becoming a preschool teacher or an art teacher, but now I have completely given up on that and just want to make money.
Previously, I worked as a kindergarten assistant for seven years because I love children, but I left because of misunderstandings with parents.
After starting at 7-11, I often get scolded for learning slowly, which has made me very fearful of work.
I even started experiencing insomnia for several months, feeling an inexplicable urge to cry before sleeping, and my appetite has decreased.
Sometimes, during my 8-hour shifts, I only speak a few words, and when there are no customers, I don’t want to chat with my coworkers.
I am even afraid to talk to others, but I have no problem playing with children; I feel like I could break down and cry at any moment, but I keep holding it in.
At the beginning of my job at 7-11, I would cry when scolded, but my family just told me to be strong and endure it.
Later on, I stopped talking about being scolded and silently endured it.
I have many friends, but no one to talk to, and I don’t want to talk to my family.
Sometimes I feel lonely and often dream that everyone is ignoring me.
I feel surrounded by darkness, and the pressure has become so overwhelming that I have even thought about cutting my arms with a utility knife or disappearing.
I have no one to confide in.
When I was in third grade, my sister was born, and everyone always told me not to cry.
I started living at my grandmother's house to study, where my grandparents only paid attention to my grades, comparing me to others.
My sister lived with my parents.
Sometimes I envied others who seemed so happy after school, but I felt nothing because what awaited me was tutoring and homework assigned by my grandparents, who would even blame me for not doing well and bringing shame to the family.
I looked up the symptoms of depression online, and I have most of them.
I want to see a psychologist without letting my family know, as I don’t want to worry them.
Ya Ya, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/06/06
Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry
Hello, Yaya: It seems that you are facing quite a few challenges at work, and the psychological stress is really significant.
It’s tough to bear so much pressure alone, especially without a channel to express your feelings.
Considering seeing a psychologist is a very positive step! After all, when you can't share many things with friends and family, having someone to listen to you and discuss solutions is crucial.
I recommend that you seek help from a psychiatrist or psychologist.
Talking with a professional will definitely be more empowering than enduring everything by yourself and can help you navigate through this difficult time.
Hang in there!
Reply Date: 2020/06/06
More Info
Overcoming mental stress can be a challenging journey, especially when one feels isolated and overwhelmed by life's pressures. Your situation reflects a common struggle faced by many young adults today, particularly in balancing work, personal aspirations, and familial expectations. It’s important to recognize that what you are experiencing is valid and that seeking help is a courageous step towards healing.
From your description, it seems that you have been under significant stress due to multiple factors: the pressure of finding a job, the fear of disappointing your family, and the emotional toll of feeling misunderstood and isolated. These feelings can lead to a cycle of anxiety and depression, which can manifest in physical symptoms such as insomnia, loss of appetite, and emotional distress.
Firstly, it’s crucial to acknowledge that your feelings of sadness and anxiety are not uncommon, especially in a high-pressure environment like work. The transition from being a teacher's aide, a role you enjoyed, to working in a convenience store where you feel criticized and unsupported can be jarring. The fact that you have a history of working with children and enjoyed it suggests that you have a passion for nurturing and teaching, which is a valuable trait. It’s understandable that being in a less fulfilling job would lead to feelings of frustration and hopelessness.
Your experiences of wanting to cry at night, feeling lonely, and having thoughts of self-harm are serious indicators of emotional distress. It’s essential to take these feelings seriously. While it’s commendable that you want to protect your family from worry, it’s equally important to prioritize your mental health. Seeking help from a mental health professional can provide you with the support and tools you need to navigate these challenges. Therapists can offer a safe space to express your feelings without judgment and can help you develop coping strategies to manage stress and anxiety.
In terms of practical steps, consider the following:
1. Reach Out for Support: While you may feel isolated, try to reach out to friends or family members who you trust. Sharing your feelings can alleviate some of the burdens you carry. If direct conversation feels daunting, consider writing down your thoughts and sharing them.
2. Seek Professional Help: Finding a therapist or counselor can be incredibly beneficial. They can help you work through your feelings of inadequacy and isolation, and provide strategies to cope with stress. Many therapists offer sliding scale fees, and some community organizations provide free or low-cost services.
3. Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that bring you joy or relaxation. This could be drawing, spending time with children, or even simple practices like taking walks or meditating. Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary for your well-being.
4. Set Realistic Goals: Instead of overwhelming yourself with the pressure to find multiple jobs, set small, achievable goals. Focus on one job at a time and allow yourself to explore opportunities that align with your interests and skills.
5. Educate Yourself: Understanding more about mental health can empower you. Recognizing the symptoms of depression and anxiety can help you articulate your feelings better when seeking help.
6. Consider Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic outlet. It can help you process your emotions and may provide insights into your triggers and patterns.
7. Limit Negative Influences: If certain environments or people contribute to your stress, it might be worth considering how to minimize those interactions. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift you.
Remember, healing is a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. You are not alone in this, and there are resources and people who can help you navigate through these tough times. Prioritizing your mental health is not just important for you, but it can also positively impact your relationships with your family and friends.
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