Talking to people
Since I started middle school, I have rarely talked to people.
Sometimes, when I do speak to someone, I treat it as if I am sharing something important, as if the other person should remember it.
Later, I realized that most people talk a lot throughout the day, from conversing with family in the morning to speaking with colleagues or classmates when they go out.
It can be said that the amount of time spent talking in a day is quite significant.
I am almost 40 years old and have never had such experiences (except for the habitual self-talk).
What should I do about this issue? I would appreciate the doctor's advice!
W, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/12/24
Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry
Hello: I wonder who you usually communicate with in your life, such as family, friends, or colleagues? If you can communicate smoothly with others when you want to talk, then there may not be any issues.
However, if you feel that you have difficulties in communication, such as not being able to understand what others are saying, or others having trouble understanding what you want to express, it is advisable to seek help from a mental health specialist.
You can discuss the underlying reasons with a physician.
Wishing you peace and happiness.
Reply Date: 2020/12/24
More Info
Overcoming communication barriers, especially when they are tied to mental health challenges, can be a daunting task. Your experience of feeling disconnected from social interactions and the pressure you place on yourself to communicate perfectly is not uncommon, particularly among individuals who struggle with anxiety or social phobia. It’s important to recognize that communication is a skill that can be developed over time, and there are several strategies you can employ to improve your comfort and effectiveness in social situations.
Understanding the Roots of Communication Barriers
From your description, it seems that your difficulties with communication may stem from a combination of social anxiety and a fear of judgment. This can lead to a cycle where the anticipation of negative outcomes makes you more anxious, which in turn makes it harder to engage in conversations. It’s crucial to understand that many people experience similar feelings, and acknowledging this can be the first step toward overcoming these barriers.
Strategies for Improvement
1. Start Small: Begin by engaging in brief conversations with people you feel comfortable with. This could be family members, close friends, or even acquaintances. The goal is to practice speaking without the pressure of making it perfect. Gradually increase the length and complexity of these conversations as you become more comfortable.
2. Practice Active Listening: Focus on listening more than speaking. This can alleviate some pressure to perform and allows you to engage in conversations without the fear of having to contribute extensively. Ask open-ended questions to encourage others to share more, which can take the focus off you.
3. Use Positive Affirmations: Combat negative self-talk by using positive affirmations. Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes and that everyone has awkward moments in conversations. This can help reduce the fear of judgment.
4. Role-Playing: Consider practicing conversations through role-playing with a trusted friend or therapist. This can help you rehearse what you want to say in a low-pressure environment and build your confidence.
5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate mindfulness practices such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga into your routine. These techniques can help reduce overall anxiety levels and improve your ability to stay present during conversations.
6. Seek Professional Help: If your communication barriers are significantly impacting your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek help from a mental health professional. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for social anxiety, as it helps individuals challenge and change negative thought patterns.
7. Join Support Groups: Consider joining a support group for individuals with similar experiences. This can provide a safe space to share your feelings and practice communication skills with others who understand your challenges.
8. Set Realistic Goals: Establish achievable communication goals for yourself. For example, aim to initiate one conversation per day, or practice speaking in front of a mirror for a few minutes each day. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Conclusion
Overcoming communication barriers is a journey that requires patience and practice. It’s essential to be kind to yourself throughout this process and recognize that improvement takes time. By implementing these strategies and possibly seeking professional guidance, you can gradually build your confidence and enhance your communication skills. Remember, the goal is not perfection but rather connection and understanding with others. You are not alone in this struggle, and with persistence, you can make meaningful strides toward overcoming these challenges.
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