Coping with Emotional Distress After Leaving a Beloved Teaching Role

Q: Coping with Emotional Distress After Leaving a Beloved Teaching Role

Hello, online friend： I understand your feelings of separation, which indicates that you have invested deeply this time. <br>Usually, these feelings will improve over time as life takes on other focuses. <br>If you still feel very uncomfortable, I suggest you talk to a psychologi

Depression

Hello, Doctor: I recently finished my internship at an elementary school, and before the graduation ceremony, I felt very reluctant to leave the school and the children, especially a girl I particularly liked.
She possesses many qualities I admire, and we interacted frequently; she was very kind to me.
During our interactions, I even experienced a sense of being cherished, which I lacked in my own family background.
As a result, after the internship ended, I felt emotionally low for quite some time.
It has been a week now, and I still feel very uncomfortable thinking about not being able to see the students and leaving a familiar environment.
Just the thought of it makes me feel tight in my chest.
Although I know there will be opportunities to meet in the future, I feel that the original mode of interaction and relationship cannot be maintained (for example, the time we can spend together will not be long, and our meetings may only consist of casual greetings rather than the original way we interacted).
I see that other interns feel similarly about finishing their internships, but not as intensely as I do, and their feelings do not seem to last as long.

I am also worried that my emotions towards the students have crossed the boundaries of the teacher-student relationship.
When I asked my colleagues, they said that teachers and students can never truly be friends.
However, I really hope to keep in touch with them and have private messaging interactions, which is not the formal way of teacher-student interaction.
This situation makes me feel troubled, yet I am reluctant to let go.
In my previous experiences, I have always found it very difficult to adjust to separations or changes in environment, and I have similar emotional reactions, such as feeling sentimental when a semester is about to end.
However, in the past, I usually felt sad for a day or two, and then gradually felt better.
This time, though, it has been a week, and I still have very strong emotions.
I would like to ask if there are any ways of thinking that could help improve these issues and the resulting persistent low mood?

Kang Hua, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/01/26

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

Hello, online friend: I understand your feelings of separation, which indicates that you have invested deeply this time.
Usually, these feelings will improve over time as life takes on other focuses.
If you still feel very uncomfortable, I suggest you talk to a psychologist to explore ways to feel better.
Dr.
Wu En-Liang

Reply Date: 2021/01/26

More Info

Coping with emotional distress after leaving a beloved teaching role can be a challenging experience, especially when you have formed strong connections with your students. It’s completely normal to feel a sense of loss and sadness when transitioning away from a role that has brought you joy and fulfillment. The feelings you are experiencing are valid and reflect the deep emotional investment you made in your teaching practice and relationships with your students.

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that the bond you formed with your students, particularly the one you mentioned, is a testament to your ability to connect and empathize with them. This connection can be particularly poignant if you have experienced a lack of affection in your own upbringing, as you mentioned. The feelings of being cherished and appreciated by your students can fill a void and create a sense of belonging that is hard to let go of.

One way to cope with the emotional distress is to allow yourself to grieve the loss of this role and the relationships you built. Grieving is a natural process that can help you come to terms with the changes in your life. It’s okay to feel sad, and it’s important to give yourself permission to experience those emotions fully. Journaling about your experiences, feelings, and the memories you cherish can be a therapeutic way to process your emotions. Writing can help you articulate your thoughts and feelings, making them more manageable.

Additionally, consider reaching out to your former students, if appropriate. Maintaining contact can help you feel connected and may provide both you and your students with comfort. However, it’s essential to navigate this relationship carefully, keeping in mind the professional boundaries that exist between teachers and students. It’s understandable to want to maintain a connection, but it’s also crucial to respect the dynamics of the teacher-student relationship. You might find that occasional messages or check-ins can be fulfilling without crossing boundaries.

Reflecting on the positive impact you had on your students can also help shift your perspective. Consider the lessons you taught, the support you provided, and the joy you brought to their lives. This reflection can remind you of the meaningful contributions you made during your time as a teacher, which can be a source of pride and comfort.

If you find that your feelings of sadness persist or intensify, it may be beneficial to seek professional support. A mental health professional can provide you with tools and strategies to cope with your emotions and help you navigate this transition. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one approach that can be particularly effective in addressing negative thought patterns and emotional distress. A therapist can help you reframe your thoughts about the situation and develop coping strategies to manage your feelings.

Lastly, consider engaging in self-care activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s spending time in nature, pursuing a hobby, or practicing mindfulness and meditation, these activities can help alleviate feelings of sadness and promote emotional well-being. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family can also provide comfort during this time of transition.

In conclusion, it’s essential to recognize that your feelings of sadness and loss are a natural response to leaving a role that was meaningful to you. By allowing yourself to grieve, reflecting on your positive impact, maintaining appropriate connections, seeking professional support if needed, and engaging in self-care, you can navigate this emotional distress and gradually find a sense of peace and acceptance in your new chapter. Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to take that time for yourself.

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