High psychological stress?
I have been a lone wolf since childhood, and because of this, the social interactions that are common for most people feel like a source of stress for me.
The more I try to avoid interacting with others, the more pressure I feel, which makes me want to escape.
I worry that this psychological pressure might lead me to consider self-harm, but I am trying to overcome it with rational thinking.
What should I do?
m, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/02/28
Dr. Wang Yaoting reply Psychiatry
Hello: Almost everyone has a part of themselves that lacks a sense of security, uncertain about whether they will be accepted by others; the difference lies in the degree and severity of this impact.
Many people's struggles with "alienation and isolation" begin in early childhood, and most individuals manage to overcome this state of alienation in adulthood.
We may find a group of friends who are more similar to us, or we might become less concerned about being popular.
However, for some individuals, the feelings of "alienation and isolation" persist throughout their lives, leading to a sense of not meeting societal expectations or feeling out of place.
You may magnify the differences between yourself and others, making it difficult to connect with others, and you might be highly sensitive during interpersonal interactions.
You may feel inferior or struggle to fit into groups, and this could even lead you to display a unique or aloof demeanor.
"Avoidance" becomes your primary coping mechanism, but this avoidance in social situations prevents you from honing your social skills, leaving you unable to validate that your thoughts might be incorrect.
While avoidance may provide you with some comfort, it also traps you, rendering you immobile.
If you continue to feel distressed about interpersonal relationships, affecting your daily life, or if you have thoughts of self-harm, it is advisable to seek help from a nearby psychiatric or psychosomatic clinic as soon as possible.
A final thought for you: rather than forcing yourself to fit into a crowd, embrace your true self!
Reply Date: 2021/02/28
More Info
Coping with social anxiety can be a challenging journey, especially if you have been accustomed to being a solitary person. The pressure of social interactions can feel overwhelming, leading to a desire to avoid these situations altogether. However, it is essential to recognize that you are not alone in this struggle, and there are effective strategies to help manage the mental pressure associated with social anxiety.
First and foremost, it is crucial to understand that social anxiety is a common condition that many people experience. It often stems from a fear of judgment or negative evaluation by others, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and isolation. Acknowledging this can be the first step toward coping with your anxiety.
One effective strategy for managing social anxiety is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns that contribute to anxiety. For instance, if you find yourself thinking, "Everyone will judge me if I make a mistake," you can challenge this thought by asking yourself, "Is there evidence to support this belief?" Often, you will find that these thoughts are irrational and not based on reality. Working with a therapist trained in CBT can help you develop skills to reframe these thoughts and reduce anxiety.
Another helpful approach is gradual exposure to social situations. Start small by engaging in low-pressure social interactions, such as greeting a neighbor or making small talk with a cashier. As you become more comfortable, gradually increase the complexity of your interactions. This technique, known as exposure therapy, can help desensitize you to the anxiety-provoking situations and build your confidence over time.
Mindfulness and relaxation techniques can also be beneficial in managing anxiety. Practices such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help calm your mind and reduce physical symptoms of anxiety, such as a racing heart or sweating. Incorporating these practices into your daily routine can create a sense of calm and help you feel more grounded when faced with social situations.
Additionally, consider seeking support from friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your experiences with others who understand what you are going through can provide comfort and encouragement. Sometimes, simply knowing that others face similar challenges can help alleviate feelings of isolation.
If your anxiety feels overwhelming or is significantly impacting your daily life, it may be beneficial to consult a mental health professional. A therapist can provide personalized strategies and support tailored to your specific needs. In some cases, medication may also be an option to help manage symptoms, but this should be discussed with a healthcare provider.
Lastly, remember to practice self-compassion. It is okay to feel anxious, and it is essential to be kind to yourself during this process. Celebrate small victories, and recognize that progress takes time. Social anxiety can be a difficult hurdle to overcome, but with the right strategies and support, it is possible to manage and reduce its impact on your life.
In conclusion, coping with social anxiety involves a combination of cognitive restructuring, gradual exposure, mindfulness practices, and seeking support. By taking proactive steps and being patient with yourself, you can learn to navigate social situations with greater ease and confidence. If you find yourself struggling, do not hesitate to reach out for professional help. You deserve to feel comfortable and confident in social interactions.
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