Forgive yourself?
Hello, doctor.
I am the university student who was previously worried about ALS.
After undergoing tests, the doctor concluded that there were no issues and advised me not to return for follow-up visits.
However, I still went back a few times and consulted different doctors, and their responses were quite similar.
Although my muscles continue to twitch, especially the soles of my left foot at a very high frequency, I have realized that what truly troubles me is not my body, but rather my thoughts about these issues.
I am gradually understanding how those who can still live joyfully in the face of cancer manage to do so; it seems that my mindset is the key.
Regarding my physical concerns, I have come to recognize that I have a form of obsession (stemming from my long-standing worries about various health issues) that keeps me fixated on the thought of "I am sick." Even though this thought may seem reasonable, I have realized that dwelling on it does not bring me peace.
So, should I seek to be right or to find peace? Perhaps a part of me has been hoping that I am wrong, and upon realizing this, I cannot help but blame myself for my situation, for continuously seeking out suffering.
I understand that the power to change lies within me.
On a conscious level, I want to change, even though I still fall into similar thoughts when faced with comparable situations.
I hope to be gentle and loving toward myself during those times.
I can choose peace, but right now, I don’t want to, and that’s okay.
It’s okay to take my time.
xuesheng, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/05/22
Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
Hello, internet user: If you are still feeling troubled, it is recommended that you seek psychological therapy with the assistance of a professional psychologist.
Dr.
Wu Enliang.
Reply Date: 2021/05/22
More Info
Navigating mental health challenges, especially in the context of self-forgiveness, is a complex journey that many individuals face. Your experience reflects a common struggle where physical symptoms intertwine with psychological distress, leading to a cycle of anxiety and self-doubt. It’s commendable that you are seeking to understand your feelings and thoughts, as this self-awareness is a crucial step toward healing.
Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that the mind and body are deeply interconnected. The physical sensations you describe, such as muscle twitching, can often be exacerbated by anxiety and stress. This is not uncommon in individuals who experience heightened levels of worry about their health. The mind tends to latch onto physical sensations, interpreting them as signs of serious illness, which can create a feedback loop of anxiety and physical symptoms. Understanding this connection can help you approach your feelings with more compassion rather than fear.
Your realization that your discomfort stems more from your thoughts than from your physical state is a significant insight. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a therapeutic approach that can be particularly effective in addressing these kinds of thought patterns. CBT helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns, replacing them with more balanced and realistic perspectives. For instance, instead of fixating on the idea that you have a serious illness, you might learn to recognize that while your symptoms are real, they do not necessarily indicate a dire health condition.
Self-forgiveness is another critical aspect of your journey. It’s easy to fall into the trap of self-blame, especially when dealing with mental health issues. You mentioned feeling guilty for "finding trouble" or for your persistent worries. It’s essential to recognize that mental health struggles are not a reflection of your worth or character. They are health issues that require understanding and care, just like any physical ailment. Practicing self-compassion can help you navigate these feelings. This means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend in a similar situation.
You also touched on the idea of choosing peace over being right. This is a profound realization. Often, we cling to our worries because they feel justified, but this can lead to a cycle of suffering. Learning to let go of the need for certainty and embracing the unknown can be liberating. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help cultivate a sense of peace and presence, allowing you to observe your thoughts without judgment.
As you continue on this path, remember that healing is not linear. There will be ups and downs, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s important to celebrate small victories and be gentle with yourself during setbacks. Seeking support from mental health professionals can also provide you with tools and strategies to manage your thoughts and emotions effectively.
In conclusion, embracing self-forgiveness and navigating mental health challenges is a journey that requires patience, understanding, and compassion. By recognizing the interplay between your thoughts and physical sensations, practicing self-compassion, and choosing peace over certainty, you can foster a healthier relationship with yourself. Remember, it’s okay to take your time and seek help along the way. You are not alone in this journey, and there is support available to help you navigate these challenges.
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