Adult dependence on dolls (toys)?
Hello, doctor.
I am currently an adult male, and I believe the situation should be explained starting from middle school.
In the first year of junior high, I bought a stuffed toy (non-human shaped), which can be understood as a pillow or a small doll.
Prior to this, I had never had a habit of relying on toys, but starting from that year, I began to hug it while sleeping and often held it at home.
I thought this was normal behavior for a junior high school student, and I initially believed that as well.
However, even now, I still sleep with the same toy and often hug it.
I realize that I am about to turn 20, and I cannot seem to let go of it.
I don’t know what to do.
To me, it is not just a toy; in my view, it resembles a motionless pet.
I have even imbued it with life in my mind and fantasized about how wonderful it would be if it were a living being.
I would like to ask how I should face this situation, or if there are ways to overcome it.
Should I consider seeing a psychologist?
Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/05/23
Dr. Wang Yaoting reply Psychiatry
Hello: Usually, these dolls are not just simple objects; they are often imbued with greater significance by individuals, reflecting deeper psychological needs.
Generally, as people age and develop interpersonal relationships, they tend to gradually let go of these substitute attachment objects.
It is suggested that if your attachment to the dolls does not significantly impact your daily life or routines, there is no need for excessive concern.
You might consider reflecting on the meaning these dolls hold for you and your underlying psychological needs.
However, if you find this attachment to be distressing, it may be beneficial to seek an evaluation at a mental health clinic to assess for any comorbid conditions or to arrange for individual psychotherapy.
I hope this answers your question :)
Reply Date: 2021/05/23
More Info
Understanding adult attachment to dolls, particularly in your case, involves exploring the psychological aspects of attachment, emotional regulation, and the role of objects in our lives. Your experience with the doll, which you describe as more than just a toy but rather as a source of comfort and companionship, is not uncommon. Many individuals form attachments to inanimate objects, especially during formative years, as a way to cope with emotional needs, loneliness, or stress.
From a psychological perspective, attachment theory, originally developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, posits that early relationships with caregivers shape our ability to form emotional bonds later in life. In your case, the doll may represent a secure base or a source of comfort that you did not have in other relationships. This attachment can serve various functions, such as providing emotional support, reducing anxiety, or acting as a transitional object during times of change or stress.
It's important to recognize that while having a strong attachment to a doll may seem unusual, it can be a healthy coping mechanism if it does not interfere with your daily life or relationships. However, if you find that this attachment is causing distress or preventing you from engaging in typical adult relationships, it may be beneficial to explore these feelings further with a mental health professional.
Here are some steps you might consider:
1. Self-Reflection: Take some time to reflect on what the doll represents for you. Is it a source of comfort, a way to cope with loneliness, or perhaps a connection to your childhood? Understanding the underlying reasons for your attachment can provide insight into your emotional needs.
2. Gradual Exposure: If you wish to reduce your reliance on the doll, consider gradually decreasing the time you spend with it. You might start by setting specific times when you will not use the doll, allowing yourself to engage in other activities or relationships during those times.
3. Developing Other Coping Mechanisms: Explore other ways to cope with stress or loneliness. This could include engaging in hobbies, spending time with friends, or practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques. Finding alternative sources of comfort can help lessen your dependence on the doll.
4. Seeking Professional Help: Consulting with a psychologist or therapist can provide you with a safe space to discuss your feelings and experiences. A mental health professional can help you explore the reasons behind your attachment and work with you to develop strategies for managing it.
5. Building Relationships: Focus on building and nurturing relationships with people in your life. Engaging in social activities, joining clubs, or participating in community events can help you create connections that may reduce your reliance on the doll for emotional support.
6. Understanding Normalcy: Recognize that many people have attachments to objects, and it is a normal part of human behavior. However, if this attachment begins to interfere with your life or personal growth, it is essential to address it.
In summary, your attachment to the doll can be understood through the lens of emotional support and coping mechanisms. While it is not inherently problematic, exploring your feelings and seeking professional guidance can help you navigate this attachment in a way that promotes your emotional well-being and personal growth. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and taking steps to understand yourself better can lead to a more fulfilling life.
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