Navigating Emotional Trauma: Living with Chronic Illness and Misunderstanding

Q: Navigating Emotional Trauma: Living with Chronic Illness and Misunderstanding

Hello, online friend： As a fellow patient with chronic autoimmune diseases, I completely understand the pain of living with a chronic illness, and the added suffering of being misunderstood or accused of faking it. <br>I recommend that such traumatic experiences be addressed thro

Traumatic emotions

I was diagnosed at the age of 23 with atypical Crohn's disease.
Within a month, I lost over thirty kilograms.
I visited numerous hospitals and was only diagnosed with gastric and duodenal ulcers.
My condition worsened, and one day I woke up unable to walk.
More and more people around me began to believe I had a mental illness.
Initially, I thought it was impossible; I was in so much pain.
As the years went by, I started to doubt whether I had a mental illness.
Two years later, I switched hospitals, and blood tests showed many nutritional values were critically low.
I began to realize that there must be something wrong with my body.
Over the years, I experienced significant hair loss, numerous bruises, and various types of pain.
I frequently suffered from pain in my stomach, intestines, and rectum, had trouble sleeping at night, and often had fevers.
Later, I was often criticized for being sick for so long without a diagnosis.
People thought I was faking my illness or had mental issues.
At that time, I could hardly eat and rarely went out due to the stress my health issues caused me.
In the church (where I grew up), some people accused me of pretending to be sick, while others said I couldn't see the beam in my own eye (I was often excluded from gatherings).
Some even deceived me by claiming to have found information that could heal my gastrointestinal issues, only to aggressively hug me and tell me that physical connection could cure me (I was in my early twenties, and he was nearly fifty).
I also encountered church elders promoting expensive alternative medicine, and I met several practitioners who charged exorbitant fees.
If I didn't go, they would loudly complain about me, pitying someone like me who couldn't afford treatment.
Many people couldn't understand how exhausting this illness could be and would verbally abuse me.
After enduring this for a long time, my boyfriend eventually told me he needed to cut his losses, and we broke up amicably.
I once thought I was truly terrible until I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease complicated by seronegative spondyloarthritis.
I began to feel very emotional when people misunderstood my illness.
It might not have been the same people as before, but rather those who genuinely cared but were misinformed about the disease (which was not how I used to react).
I became particularly wary of men (I would be very cautious).
I felt my emotions and vigilance were ahead of me, unlike before.
I felt sad about this change in myself.
Sometimes I regretted feeling emotional about others' misunderstandings or, to control my emotions, I would often avoid discussing my illness or distance myself from some friends who were otherwise good but had misunderstood me (I never used to act this way due to others' misunderstandings).
I really wish I could return to my original self, but it seems I can't, and I feel sad.
What can I do?

Joyce, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/07/06

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

Hello, online friend: As a fellow patient with chronic autoimmune diseases, I completely understand the pain of living with a chronic illness, and the added suffering of being misunderstood or accused of faking it.
I recommend that such traumatic experiences be addressed through individual psychotherapy, and I encourage you to seek assistance from a professional therapist to help you navigate through this.
Stay strong! Dr.
Wu Enliang

Reply Date: 2021/07/06

More Info

Navigating emotional trauma, especially in the context of chronic illness, can be an incredibly challenging journey. Your experience with Crohn's disease and the subsequent misunderstandings from those around you highlight a common struggle faced by many individuals with invisible illnesses. The emotional toll of chronic illness is often compounded by societal misconceptions, leading to feelings of isolation, frustration, and even self-doubt.

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. Chronic illnesses like Crohn's disease can lead to a myriad of physical symptoms, including severe pain, fatigue, and gastrointestinal distress, which can be difficult for others to understand. When people around you dismiss your experiences or attribute them to psychological issues, it can exacerbate feelings of isolation and misunderstanding. This is a common issue faced by many with chronic conditions, often referred to as "invisible illnesses."
Your journey through misdiagnosis and the eventual confirmation of your condition is a testament to your resilience. It’s understandable that the years of doubt and misunderstanding have led to emotional responses, including heightened sensitivity to others' perceptions and a defensive stance towards relationships. This emotional response is a natural protective mechanism, as you seek to shield yourself from further hurt.

To navigate these complex emotions and experiences, consider the following strategies:
1. Seek Professional Support: Engaging with a mental health professional who specializes in chronic illness can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings and develop coping strategies. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be particularly effective in addressing negative thought patterns and emotional responses.

2. Educate Your Support System: Sometimes, misunderstandings stem from a lack of knowledge. If you feel comfortable, consider sharing educational resources about Crohn's disease with friends and family. This can help them understand your condition better and foster empathy.

3. Establish Boundaries: It’s okay to set boundaries with those who do not respect your experiences or who contribute to your emotional distress. Surround yourself with individuals who are supportive and understanding, even if that means distancing yourself from those who are not.

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Chronic illness can change how you interact with the world, and it’s important to recognize that it’s okay to feel different. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your previous self and acknowledge the strength it takes to adapt to your new reality.

5. Connect with Others: Finding support groups, either in-person or online, can help you connect with others who understand what you’re going through. Sharing experiences with those who have similar challenges can provide validation and reduce feelings of isolation.

6. Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: Techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, and yoga can help manage stress and improve emotional regulation. These practices can also enhance your overall well-being and provide a sense of control over your emotional responses.

7. Focus on What You Can Control: While you may not be able to change how others perceive your illness, you can control how you respond to those perceptions. Focus on your health, your interests, and the aspects of your life that bring you joy.

8. Reframe Your Narrative: Instead of viewing your illness solely as a burden, try to reframe it as part of your journey. This doesn’t diminish the challenges you face, but it can help you find meaning and purpose in your experiences.

In conclusion, navigating the emotional landscape of chronic illness is a multifaceted process that requires patience and self-compassion. It’s essential to prioritize your mental health and seek support from professionals and understanding peers. Remember that your experiences are valid, and you are not alone in this journey. With time and the right strategies, it is possible to find a sense of peace and acceptance in your new reality.

Similar Q&A

Facing Mental Health Challenges: Seeking Help and Understanding Your Journey

Hello, Doctor: Since I became ill at the age of 20, I have been on medication until now. To be honest, being sick has made me realize certain things, while also leaving me confused about others. There is a doctor online who says that treating mental illness requires addressing th...

Dr. Liao Dinglie reply Psychiatry
Hello, dear reader: From your letter, I can sense the immense pressure you are feeling. You are facing a situation where almost all your relatives and friends are not on your side, and your interactions with others are either filled with conflicts or completely disconnected. Inde...

Struggling with Trauma: Finding Hope Amidst Mental Health Challenges

Hello. I have witnessed domestic violence in the past, and my sister has also abused my younger sister. There are many things I can't talk about with others; it seems that since I started to have memories, they have all been bad. However, I can't forget or stop thinking...

Dr. Su Zongwei reply Psychiatry
1. Your situation is urgent; you must see a psychiatrist. 2. Hearing voices indicates that the neurotransmitters in your brain are disrupted and require medication treatment. 3. Delaying treatment can affect your IQ, which is very important. 4. Therefore, this is no longer ...

Overcoming Emotional Struggles: A Journey Through Mental Health Challenges

Hello, Doctor: This is Ah Ming, who consulted you last time. Do you remember me? I have encountered some difficulties again! 1. Although I don’t want to curse my enemies, sometimes my emotions get the best of me, and I can't control it! Similarly, I sometimes forget to tak...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello Amin: Although work is tough, you still hold your position and dedicate yourself to your family. You should also take a moment to acknowledge your own efforts. Falling ill is not something you desire, but I still recommend being patient and facing it bravely. Collaborate wi...

Breaking the Cycle of Anger: Finding Peace After Trauma

Hello, doctor. Since I had conflicts with others in the past, they have started to cause me trouble. The reason is that they were in the wrong first, and I shouldn't have retaliated in that way, which led to a cycle of revenge. Eventually, even a neighbor living nearby becam...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello Amin: Based on your description, you have gone through a lot of hardships and have made significant efforts, as well as developed some coping strategies. You mentioned that medication is effective for you, but you tend to lose control when not taking it. I recommend that yo...