What should I do?
I often wonder why I am so timid and easily frightened.
I frequently get scared, and I also struggle with social skills, making it difficult for me to adapt to group living.
The feeling of not being able to breathe makes my heart race, preventing me from learning and participating in class, which terrifies me.
This situation made me cry for a week and caused me to lose 10 kilograms.
Although this happened six months ago, I still feel anxious about it.
I am about to return to school and group living, and I don't know how to overcome this.
Huang, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/04/22
Dr. You Shunjie reply Psychiatry
Based on your letter, it seems that you have been fearful of various things since childhood.
You mentioned that about six months ago, you experienced a period where you struggled to adapt to group living, which included symptoms such as difficulty breathing, rapid heartbeat, and an inability to participate in classes with others.
This situation caused you to cry for a week and resulted in a weight loss of 10 kilograms.
Have you ever consulted a psychiatrist about your condition? It sounds very much like a specific phobia or panic disorder, possibly accompanied by symptoms of depression.
Such conditions are not uncommon in psychiatric outpatient settings, and medication treatment can be quite effective.
I strongly recommend that you seek professional help.
Reply Date: 2003/04/22
More Info
Overcoming fear and anxiety in social situations can be a challenging journey, especially for individuals who experience heightened levels of anxiety in group settings. Your feelings of fear, discomfort, and the physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat and difficulty breathing are common among those with social anxiety. It’s important to understand that you are not alone in this experience, and there are effective strategies to help you cope and gradually overcome these fears.
Understanding Social Anxiety
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one may be judged, embarrassed, or scrutinized by others. This fear can lead to avoidance behaviors, which can further exacerbate feelings of isolation and distress. The physical symptoms you described, such as increased heart rate and difficulty breathing, are typical responses to anxiety. These symptoms can create a vicious cycle, where the fear of experiencing anxiety in social situations leads to avoidance, which in turn reinforces the anxiety.
Strategies for Overcoming Social Anxiety
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): One of the most effective treatments for social anxiety is CBT, which helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs about social situations. A therapist can guide you through this process, helping you to reframe your thoughts and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
2. Gradual Exposure: Gradual exposure involves slowly and systematically facing the situations that cause you anxiety. Start with less intimidating scenarios and gradually work your way up to more challenging ones. For example, you might begin by engaging in small conversations with familiar people before progressing to larger group settings.
3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce anxiety. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and meditation can help calm your mind and body before and during social interactions.
4. Social Skills Training: Sometimes, individuals with social anxiety may benefit from social skills training, which can help improve communication and interpersonal skills. This training can provide you with the tools to navigate social situations more confidently.
5. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Pay attention to the negative thoughts that arise when you think about social situations. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are based on facts or assumptions. Replace them with more balanced and realistic thoughts.
6. Set Realistic Goals: Set achievable goals for yourself in social situations. Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on making small steps toward engagement. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.
7. Seek Support: Connecting with others who understand your experiences can be incredibly helpful. Consider joining a support group for individuals with social anxiety. Sharing your feelings and hearing others’ experiences can provide comfort and encouragement.
8. Professional Help: If your anxiety feels overwhelming, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. They can provide you with tailored strategies and support to address your specific concerns.
Preparing for Group Living
As you prepare to return to school and group living, consider the following tips:
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself as you navigate these feelings. Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel anxious and that you are taking steps to address it.
- Establish a Routine: Having a routine can provide a sense of stability and predictability, which may help reduce anxiety.
- Communicate Your Needs: If you feel comfortable, communicate with your peers or roommates about your anxiety. This can foster understanding and support within the group.
- Focus on the Present: When you find yourself feeling anxious, try to bring your attention back to the present moment. Engage in the activity at hand rather than worrying about potential outcomes.
Conclusion
Overcoming fear and anxiety in social situations is a gradual process that requires patience and practice. By employing the strategies mentioned above and seeking support when needed, you can build your confidence and improve your social skills over time. Remember, it’s okay to take small steps, and every effort you make is a step toward greater comfort and ease in social interactions. You are not alone in this journey, and with the right tools and support, you can navigate social situations more confidently.
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