Sibling Dynamics: Is My Brother Struggling with Mental Health? - Psychiatry

Family interaction issues - Does the older brother have mental health problems?

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My parents did not manage their emotions well during my upbringing, but it was mostly limited to verbal expressions without any tendencies toward violence.
My brother mentioned that when I was one year old and he was three, I would wake up crying at night, which disturbed our father and led to him getting punished, so he has disliked both me and our dad since childhood.
In elementary school, when playing at relatives' homes, many of the children my age did not particularly like my brother because he had a more selfish personality or would do things that made other kids uncomfortable (perhaps he was trying to fit in).
However, the adults would always scold my brother harshly.
When we went on trips and played together, he would sometimes join in but also spend time alone with his toys in the car.
Many photos show me with other kids, but not with my brother.
At that time, it seemed like he was enjoying himself too.
He mentioned that he was not liked at school for a period because he would often report on others.
Around third or fourth grade, he experienced involuntary blinking similar to Tourette syndrome and would sometimes have accidents in his pants.
After being corrected or scolded, he eventually improved, and he reflected that he was very anxious as a child.
I was not a dominant person growing up, but when his demands were unreasonable, I would not get angry but simply ignore him, which made him dislike me even more.
I did not have much trouble with interpersonal interactions; my only childhood concern was that my brother often made me uncomfortable.

Since middle school, after my brother entered puberty and developed a stronger sense of self, the family atmosphere has been filled with constant arguments.
He grew up being scolded and became someone who often yelled at our parents.
Although he frequently had many insights he wanted to share with the family, he would become very angry if we did not meet his expectations.
We rarely argued at that time, but he would often mock me, and I would just laugh it off.
During that period, he would occasionally take care of me.
Starting in middle school, he only wanted to talk to our mother, believing that she was the only one who somewhat understood his dissatisfaction.
Our academic performance was similar throughout high school, but after the college entrance exams, I did better, which led to even more mockery from him, possibly as a way to maintain his self-esteem.
Gradually, I could no longer accept his comments.
For example, during special occasions when friends and relatives visited our home, he would tell his friends that I was a social outcast at school (even though I had my own friends) and would encourage them to persuade me to drink alcohol.
I later ran to the bathroom to cry and did not return.
My parents defended me, which led to a huge argument with my brother, and no one could change his perception of me.
From then on, he defined me as the embarrassing sister, and every time we met, he would only insult me; in any disputes, he would constantly complain to our mother to judge me, making communication and resolution impossible.

When we went out with relatives, he would repeatedly tell our mother how terrible I was, trying to exclude me from participating, even though the relatives did not think I had done anything wrong.
My father would be scolded by him for no reason, while my mother was the only person he was willing to interact with, but she could also be scolded if she made a mistake.
He has very high expectations of others but does not hold himself to the same standards, and no one can communicate with him.
Living with him creates a lot of pressure for everyone.
My relationship with my parents is not too bad, but I would only go home after confirming that my brother was away on a business trip, and I rarely returned home.
I want to know if there is something wrong with my brother or if he simply has a bad personality.
In fact, after spending a long time with him, my self-esteem has been very low.
Even though I have a decent job in society and often receive more affirmation from people outside than from my family, I gradually found my confidence after leaving home.

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Yuan Yuan, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/07/17