Overcoming Anxiety and Appetite Issues in Social Dining Situations

Q: Overcoming Anxiety and Appetite Issues in Social Dining Situations

Hello： It seems that this situation has caused you significant distress. <br>Your condition requires a comprehensive evaluation, such as understanding the origins and persistence of your thoughts about food completion, the severity of your anxiety, etc., in order to determine whe

Anxiety, tension, and loss of appetite?

Hello Doctor, I have been experiencing a lack of appetite for a long time (over five years), especially in the mornings and afternoons.
I initially thought it was due to my sleeping habits (waking up around 10 AM), but I have realized that it seems to be related to social interactions.
I find it difficult to eat with others in restaurants (at home, I eat alone, so my appetite is normal).
Just the thought of dining with others makes me anxious, causes me to cough, increases my stress, and diminishes my appetite.
I can only take a few bites before losing interest in food, feeling that everything tastes bad.
At my worst, even going to a restaurant alone would affect my appetite, but it has improved somewhat; I can relax by watching videos while eating.
Dining with others in the evening is somewhat better, but it still depends on who I'm with.
Some people laugh at me for not being able to eat much as a male, and I believe this is because I dislike wasting food, so I order only what I can eat.
However, when dining with others, it's inevitable that everyone orders more, and the restaurant's menu doesn't offer smaller portions, which makes eating very stressful for me.
Over time, I've often been teased with comments like, "How can you, as a guy, not eat much?" Regardless of gender, people look at me strangely, and restaurant staff may even ask if there's something wrong with my meal if I can't finish it, which is quite embarrassing.
Dining with my partner often leads to her unexpectedly ordering more food, resulting in a table full of dishes, which increases my stress and makes it hard to eat.
Although we've communicated about this, it has been ineffective.
After five or six years, I have become unable to go out to eat with friends; I prefer to take food home or to the office to eat slowly because I feel pressured to finish everything when dining out, and I am forced to eat dishes that others insist I try.
This has severely impacted my social skills, as dining together is an important aspect of socializing.
Doctor, could you please advise me on how to better manage this stress?

Niming, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/09/03

Dr. Peng Liyun reply Psychiatry

Hello: It seems that this situation has caused you significant distress.
Your condition requires a comprehensive evaluation, such as understanding the origins and persistence of your thoughts about food completion, the severity of your anxiety, etc., in order to determine whether psychological therapy is appropriate or if medication intervention is necessary.
I recommend seeking treatment from a psychosomatic medicine specialist.
Thank you for your inquiry.
Dr.
Peng Li-Yun, Child Psychiatry, Chianan Psychiatric Hospital.

Reply Date: 2021/09/03

More Info

Overcoming anxiety and appetite issues in social dining situations can be a challenging experience, especially when it has persisted for several years. Your description of feeling anxious and losing your appetite in social settings, particularly during meals, indicates a significant connection between your social anxiety and your eating habits. This is not uncommon among individuals who experience social anxiety, as the pressure of social interactions can lead to heightened stress responses, which in turn affect appetite and eating behaviors.

Understanding the Connection Between Social Anxiety and Appetite
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) often manifests in various ways, including physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, and, in your case, coughing and loss of appetite when faced with social dining situations. The fear of being judged or scrutinized by others can create a cycle of anxiety that makes it difficult to enjoy meals in social settings. This anxiety can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as choosing to eat alone or opting for takeout instead of dining out with friends or family.

Strategies for Managing Anxiety in Social Dining Situations
1. Gradual Exposure: One effective approach to overcoming social anxiety is gradual exposure. Start by practicing dining in less intimidating environments. For example, you could begin by inviting a close friend or family member to share a meal at a quiet café. Gradually increase the number of people and the complexity of the social setting as you become more comfortable.

2. Mindfulness Techniques: Incorporating mindfulness techniques can help you stay present during meals. Focus on the sensory experience of eating—the taste, texture, and aroma of the food—rather than the social dynamics around you. This can help reduce anxiety and enhance your enjoyment of the meal.

3. Communicate Your Needs: It’s essential to communicate your feelings with those you dine with. Let them know that you may need to order smaller portions or that you prefer to take your time while eating. Most friends and family will understand and support your needs if you express them clearly.

4. Practice Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts that arise during social dining. Instead of thinking, “Everyone is judging me,” try to reframe it to, “Everyone is here to enjoy the meal and the company.” Positive affirmations can help shift your mindset and reduce anxiety.

5. Focus on the Company: Shift your focus from the food to the people you are dining with. Engage in conversations, ask questions, and show interest in their stories. This can help divert your attention from your anxiety about eating and allow you to enjoy the social aspect of dining.

6. Seek Professional Help: If your anxiety continues to interfere with your ability to dine socially, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for social anxiety and can provide you with tools to manage your symptoms. A therapist can help you develop coping strategies tailored to your specific situation.

7. Nutritional Considerations: Since you mentioned that your appetite is better when eating alone, consider preparing meals that you enjoy and feel comfortable with. This can help you maintain a balanced diet even if you are not dining out frequently. Additionally, ensure you are eating at regular intervals to support your overall health.

8. Join Support Groups: Connecting with others who experience similar challenges can be beneficial. Support groups provide a safe space to share experiences and coping strategies, which can help you feel less isolated in your struggles.

Conclusion
Overcoming anxiety and appetite issues in social dining situations is a gradual process that requires patience and practice. By implementing these strategies and seeking support when needed, you can work towards feeling more comfortable in social settings and enjoying meals with others. Remember, it’s okay to take small steps and celebrate your progress along the way. Your well-being is the priority, and with time, you can develop a healthier relationship with food and social interactions.

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