Social Anxiety: Overcoming Challenges in Social Situations

Q: Social Anxiety: Overcoming Challenges in Social Situations

Hello, Bao Bao： Your situation may indicate a social anxiety response, but you can still continue to engage in social activities, which shows that there is no significant impact on your social functioning. <br>Laughing occasionally during games is perfectly fine as long as your f

Social anxiety?

Hello, doctor.
I apologize if my question seems a bit strange.
I have been introverted and quiet since childhood.
I can interact normally with my family, but at school, I hardly speak—usually only responding or nodding, and I rarely say more than ten sentences from kindergarten through middle school.
Fortunately, I was not bullied, but I had almost no friends, which has always made me feel inferior.
My family has always hoped I could be more outgoing, like I am at home, which adds a lot of pressure on me.

In middle school, there was a classmate who was very proactive in caring for me, but I still didn't dare to speak much; it was mostly her doing all the talking.
It wasn't until I met some online friends before high school that I realized I had the ability to make friends.
Later, I mustered the courage to change in high school and eventually made some very good friends.
Recently, I've noticed that in social situations, I experience symptoms like rapid heartbeat, sweaty hands, trembling, dry mouth, stuttering, and loss of appetite.
However, it doesn't feel like extreme anxiety or fear; rather, it seems to be my reaction when I'm excited or exhilarated, such as when I'm laughing while playing games or joking around with friends.
Is this actually a sign of nervousness?
In summary, I find this a bit troubling and hard to control.
Sometimes during class presentations or self-introductions, I also experience these reactions, but I know these are signs of nervousness and fear.
Does this count as social anxiety? Social phobia? Hormonal imbalance? Dysautonomia? How can I overcome these two types of social situations?
Also, I feel like I've transformed and have been trying to forget my past memories of being silent.
I think my former self was too insecure, too introverted, and overly sentimental.
I'm unsure if my past experiences still affect me now.
Would it be better to forget?

Bào Bào, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/01/29

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, Bao Bao: Your situation may indicate a social anxiety response, but you can still continue to engage in social activities, which shows that there is no significant impact on your social functioning.
Laughing occasionally during games is perfectly fine as long as your friends are accepting of it.
To reduce social anxiety, it is recommended to focus your attention on the other person during interactions rather than on yourself.
By actively listening and understanding what the other person is trying to express, you can usually respond more naturally.
If you concentrate on what you should say or how to respond, it can actually increase your anxiety in social situations.

Reply Date: 2022/01/29

More Info

Social anxiety is a common challenge that many individuals face, particularly in social situations where they feel scrutinized or judged. Your experiences resonate with those of many young people who struggle with similar feelings. It’s important to understand that social anxiety can manifest in various ways, including physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, and dry mouth, as you’ve described. These symptoms can occur even in situations where you are excited or happy, indicating that your body may be reacting to social situations with heightened arousal, which can be confusing.

From what you've shared, it seems that you have made significant progress in overcoming some of your social challenges, especially during your high school years. The fact that you were able to form friendships and engage more openly is a testament to your resilience and ability to adapt. However, the lingering feelings of anxiety in social situations, especially during presentations or introductions, suggest that you may still be experiencing elements of social anxiety.

Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one may be judged or evaluated by others. This fear can lead to avoidance behaviors, which can further exacerbate feelings of isolation and self-doubt. The physical symptoms you experience—like increased heart rate and sweating—are typical responses to anxiety and can occur even when you are not consciously feeling anxious. This is often due to the body's fight-or-flight response being triggered in anticipation of social interaction.

To address your concerns, here are some strategies that may help you manage social anxiety and improve your comfort in social situations:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This is a highly effective treatment for social anxiety. CBT helps you identify and challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs about social situations. Working with a therapist can provide you with tools to reframe your thoughts and reduce anxiety.

2. Exposure Therapy: Gradually exposing yourself to social situations can help desensitize you to the anxiety associated with them. Start with less intimidating scenarios and gradually work your way up to more challenging situations.

3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help calm your nervous system and reduce anxiety symptoms. These techniques can be particularly useful before entering a social situation.

4. Social Skills Training: Engaging in social skills training can help you feel more confident in your interactions. This can include role-playing scenarios, learning conversation starters, and practicing active listening.

5. Self-Compassion: It’s essential to be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone has their struggles. Acknowledging your progress and celebrating small victories can help build your confidence.

6. Journaling: Writing about your experiences and feelings can provide insight into your anxiety triggers and help you process your emotions. Reflecting on your past experiences can also help you understand how they shape your current feelings.

As for your question about whether to forget past experiences, it’s important to recognize that while you may want to move on from feelings of insecurity, those experiences have contributed to your growth. Instead of trying to forget, consider reframing those memories as part of your journey. They can serve as reminders of how far you’ve come and the strength you possess.

Lastly, if you feel comfortable, seeking professional help from a psychologist or counselor can provide you with tailored strategies to manage your anxiety effectively. They can help you navigate your feelings and develop a personalized plan to enhance your social interactions.

In conclusion, social anxiety can be a challenging experience, but with the right tools and support, it is possible to manage and overcome these feelings. Remember that you are not alone in this journey, and many people share similar experiences. Embrace your progress, and take small steps towards building the social confidence you desire.

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