Does Mom Need to See a Doctor for Anxiety and Suspicion?

Does mom need to see a doctor?

Hello Dr.
Chen,
My mother has recently become more anxious and sensitive, possibly due to menopause.
She often suspects my father and tries to monitor his actions.
While some of my father's behaviors may warrant suspicion, my mother's frequency of these concerns has increased significantly, and many times they are unfounded, merely her personal assumptions.
Additionally, when she is in a bad mood, her demeanor and speech can become very cold and intense, which is something that rarely happened before.
This has led to increased tension between my parents, resulting in frequent arguments, and it seems my mother's anxiety is worsening.
It could also be that since my brother and I work outside the home, my mother focuses all her attention on my father.
She dislikes it when he goes out, even for just a few hours.
My father is quite traditional and does not allow my mother to go out at night, which makes her feel resentful.
Even if she has no intention of going out, she uses the excuse that if my father is going out, she should also go out with her colleagues as a form of retaliation, leading to more conflicts.
When my parents were younger, my mother often had to endure my father's temper and lack of consideration, but she rarely wanted to argue back then, claiming it was for the sake of us children.
Now that we are grown, she says she doesn't want to tolerate it anymore.
However, I believe most of the arguments stem from my mother's jealousy, as she wants my father to live life her way, but he is a man of traditional values and is unlikely to change.
Although I often try to advise my mother, her suspicious behavior seems to be getting more pronounced.
Should I take her to see a doctor? What if she refuses? What should I do? Are these symptoms common during menopause? In fact, I feel like I might be getting sick myself.
I grew up in a household filled with such arguments, and as the eldest daughter, I feel exhausted.
Although the situation has improved somewhat as we've grown up, I find myself thinking about things more deeply now.

I work outside the home, but I live in constant fear of my parents arguing again.
Every time my phone rings and it shows a call from home, I feel an inexplicable fear.
I also worry that my phone might malfunction and not ring, leaving my family unable to reach me in case of an emergency.
I constantly check my phone, anxious to call and check on the situation at home, terrified that if I don't call one day, something might happen.
I feel that my happiness is tied to whether my parents are arguing.
Dr.
Chen, perhaps these issues cannot be resolved simply by seeing a psychiatrist.
However, I would like to ask you if medication can help reduce jealousy and anxiety?

Kuài yào dé yōu lǜ zhèng de xiǎo hái, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/07/17

Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry

I can sense the distress, helplessness, and panic you are experiencing from your letter.
However, it is essential to approach the analysis and resolution of problems step by step; otherwise, it may increase unnecessary psychological stress and anxiety.

Firstly, regarding the interaction between your parents, it is crucial to determine whether the issue lies in their communication with each other or if it is primarily your mother's problem.
From your description, it seems challenging to make a clear distinction.
You appear to lean towards the belief that your mother is overly suspicious and sensitive.
However, if your mother is going through menopause, it is common for her to experience emotional issues such as irritability, impatience, insomnia, sensitivity, anxiety, and various physiological symptoms.
In such circumstances, conflicts can easily arise due to her mood.
Therefore, it might be helpful for you to talk to your mother, understand her emotions, support her, and encourage her to consider seeing a physician.
Secondly, regarding treatment: since your mother's exact condition is uncertain, it is challenging to provide specific treatment recommendations.
However, in general, there are effective treatments for anxiety and emotional stabilization.
Addressing the underlying factors contributing to her condition could yield even better results.

Reply Date: 2003/07/17

More Info

It sounds like your mother is experiencing significant anxiety and suspicion, which may be exacerbated by her current life circumstances, including the possibility of menopause. The symptoms you describe—heightened sensitivity, frequent suspicion of your father, emotional volatility, and increased conflict—are concerning and suggest that she may benefit from professional help.

1. Understanding the Symptoms:
Your mother's behavior could be linked to several factors. Menopause can indeed lead to emotional changes due to hormonal fluctuations. Symptoms such as mood swings, irritability, and anxiety are common during this transition. However, the intensity and frequency of her suspicions and emotional outbursts may indicate that she is struggling with more than just typical menopausal symptoms.

2. The Importance of Seeking Help:
Given the impact of her behavior on family dynamics, it is crucial to consider seeking professional help. Anxiety disorders can manifest in various ways, including obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, which could explain her need to control her husband's actions and her heightened sensitivity. A mental health professional can provide a comprehensive evaluation and determine whether her symptoms are part of an anxiety disorder, depression, or another condition.

3. What to Do If She Is Reluctant:
If your mother is resistant to the idea of seeing a doctor, it may be helpful to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Emphasize that seeking help is a sign of strength and that many people benefit from talking to a professional about their feelings. You might suggest starting with a general practitioner who can provide a referral to a mental health specialist if needed.

4. Potential Treatment Options:
In terms of treatment, there are various approaches that can be effective for anxiety and related symptoms. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly beneficial for anxiety disorders, as it helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns. Medication, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), can also be prescribed to help manage anxiety symptoms. These medications can help reduce feelings of suspicion and nervousness, allowing your mother to engage more positively with her environment.

5. Family Support:
As the eldest daughter, your role in supporting your mother is vital. It’s important to take care of your own mental health as well. The stress of living in a tense household can take a toll on your well-being. Consider seeking support for yourself, whether through counseling or support groups, to help you cope with the situation.

6. Addressing Your Own Anxiety:
Your feelings of anxiety regarding your parents' conflicts are valid. It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed by the fear of conflict and the need to monitor their interactions. This can lead to a cycle of anxiety that is difficult to break. It may be beneficial for you to explore relaxation techniques, mindfulness practices, or even therapy to help manage your own stress and anxiety.

Conclusion:
In summary, your mother’s symptoms warrant professional evaluation and treatment. While menopause may contribute to her emotional state, the frequency and intensity of her anxiety and suspicion suggest that she may be experiencing an anxiety disorder. Encouraging her to seek help, while also taking care of your own mental health, is essential. Medication and therapy can significantly improve her quality of life, and with the right support, both you and your mother can find a path toward healing and stability.

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