I would like to ask a question about gender identity?
Hello, doctor.
I started having thoughts about wanting to be a girl from around the fourth to sixth grade.
Every time these thoughts arise, I try to suppress them, but since entering middle school, these thoughts have become more frequent and harder to control.
They have even progressed from merely thinking about them to taking some actions (such as buying hair accessories and hiding them in my room), as I am unsure of my father's attitude and therefore hesitant to buy women's clothing directly.
I would like to know if this is gender identity disorder.
If not, how can I completely eliminate these thoughts from my mind? If it is, should I consult the school counselor? Additionally, how can I ask my family to take me to see a doctor (my father's attitude is uncertain, while my mother is more supportive)? Thank you.
Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/03/29
Dr. Wu Menghuan reply Psychiatry
Hello: The latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DSM-5, has redefined "Gender Identity Disorder" as "Gender Dysphoria," which refers to the discomfort and distress experienced regarding one's biological sex, along with a strong desire to become another gender.
It is recommended that you first talk to a school counselor or have a family member accompany you to a pediatric mental health clinic for evaluation.
Thank you.
Reply Date: 2022/03/29
More Info
Understanding gender identity can be a complex and deeply personal journey, especially for those who experience feelings of discomfort or confusion regarding their gender. It’s important to recognize that what you are experiencing is not uncommon, and many individuals go through similar struggles as they seek to understand their identity.
From your description, it seems that you have been grappling with feelings of wanting to express yourself as a girl since elementary school. This desire has intensified over time, leading to actions such as purchasing hair accessories, which indicates a growing need to explore and express your gender identity. It’s crucial to understand that these feelings do not necessarily indicate a disorder; rather, they may reflect a natural exploration of your gender identity.
The term "gender dysphoria" is often used to describe the psychological distress that arises when a person's gender identity does not align with their biological sex. However, it’s essential to note that experiencing these feelings does not automatically mean you have a disorder. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) has shifted the understanding of gender identity issues away from being classified as a mental disorder to recognizing the distress associated with gender dysphoria. This means that while you may feel discomfort with your current gender identity, it is a valid experience and not inherently pathological.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by these thoughts and emotions, seeking support from a mental health professional, such as a school counselor or a therapist who specializes in gender identity issues, can be beneficial. They can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings, help you understand your identity better, and offer coping strategies for managing any distress you may be experiencing.
When it comes to discussing your feelings with your family, especially your parents, it can be helpful to approach the conversation with openness and honesty. Since your mother is supportive, consider starting the conversation with her first. You might express your feelings and thoughts about your gender identity and ask for her support in discussing this with your father. It can be helpful to provide them with resources or information about gender identity to foster understanding and reduce any potential stigma.
In terms of managing your thoughts, it’s important to recognize that trying to suppress or eliminate these feelings may not be effective and could lead to increased distress. Instead, consider embracing your feelings as part of your identity exploration. Journaling, engaging in creative expression, or connecting with supportive communities (online or in-person) can provide outlets for your feelings and help you feel less isolated.
Ultimately, your journey in understanding your gender identity is personal and unique to you. It’s okay to take your time to explore these feelings and seek support along the way. Remember, you are not alone in this experience, and there are professionals and communities that can help you navigate this path. Embracing your identity, whatever that may be, is a courageous step towards self-acceptance and understanding.
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