and Addressing Stealing Behavior in Elementary School Children

Q: and Addressing Stealing Behavior in Elementary School Children

Hello： If your child is repeatedly struggling with stealing and there has been no improvement, it is understandable that you, as a caregiver, may feel a significant sense of helplessness. <br>I recommend that you first manage your own emotions to avoid letting them affect your in

Elementary school children with a stealing addiction?

My son is in the fourth grade this year.
During the summer after he graduated from first grade to second grade, I discovered for the first time that he had stolen snacks from a convenience store.
I took him to apologize to the store and compensate multiple times.
As he grew older, the frequency of his stealing began to increase, starting with snacks and later moving on to stationery.
He could no longer steal from the convenience store (because I had to stop working to take him to and from school due to his stealing), so he turned to stealing from his classmates.

We have tried various approaches with his father and teachers.
In second grade, we took him to the mental health department at Guandu Hospital for a consultation, but the doctor’s response was merely to observe the situation further.
Once, after being punished, he scratched his own face and had a small injury, which led the teacher to inform us that they would have to report it to social services.
We told the teacher to proceed as necessary, which was the right thing to do.

Social services first visited the school to understand the situation and then came to our home for an interview.
They found no issues of domestic violence or parental incapacity.
They arranged consultations at other hospitals, but the reports indicated that there were no problems.
Although incidents continued to occur, the frequency decreased, and I felt that my child was maturing.
I returned to work, but right after the New Year when school resumed, I received a message from the teacher that my child had stolen from a convenience store again, and this time he was caught in the act.
Fortunately, the nearby store owners were understanding (as they knew us from previous apologies) and chose to notify the school instead of pressing charges.
However, not long after this incident was addressed, I discovered that my child had again brought home stationery that did not belong to him.
He admitted that while I was taking him to buy the necessary school supplies, he had taken some items without paying.
I truly do not know what further steps to take to help him change his behavior.

A's, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/04/07

Dr. Wang Yaoting reply Psychiatry

Hello: If your child is repeatedly struggling with stealing and there has been no improvement, it is understandable that you, as a caregiver, may feel a significant sense of helplessness.
I recommend that you first manage your own emotions to avoid letting them affect your interactions with your child, and focus on addressing the stealing behavior.
Regarding whether your child may have a stealing addiction, it is advisable to regularly consult a pediatric psychiatrist to monitor and assess the situation.
After all, stealing behavior may just be the tip of the iceberg; there could be underlying issues that we are unaware of.
Understanding the true reasons behind your child's stealing behavior requires professional assistance.
If it turns out that there is a compulsive stealing issue and you are open to the idea of medication, mid to high doses of serotonin reuptake inhibitors have been shown in the literature to be helpful for impulse control disorders.
I hope this addresses your concerns.

Reply Date: 2022/04/07

More Info

Addressing stealing behavior in elementary school children can be a complex and challenging issue for parents. Your son’s behavior of stealing, which has escalated from snacks to school supplies, indicates a pattern that requires careful attention and intervention. Here are some insights and strategies to help you understand and address this behavior effectively.

Understanding the Behavior
1. Underlying Issues: Stealing can often be a manifestation of underlying emotional or psychological issues. It may stem from feelings of inadequacy, a desire for attention, or even impulse control problems. Children at this age are still developing their understanding of social norms and the consequences of their actions.

2. Impulse Control: Children, especially those in elementary school, may struggle with impulse control. They might not fully comprehend the concept of ownership or the implications of taking something that does not belong to them. This can be exacerbated by peer pressure or the desire to fit in.

3. Emotional Needs: Sometimes, stealing can be a way for children to cope with emotional needs. If your son feels neglected or seeks validation, he might resort to stealing as a means to gain attention or feel a sense of power.

Strategies for Addressing the Behavior
1. Open Communication: Establish a safe space for your son to express his feelings. Encourage him to talk about why he feels compelled to steal. Ask open-ended questions that allow him to articulate his thoughts and emotions. This can help you understand the root cause of his behavior.

2. Set Clear Expectations: Clearly communicate the rules regarding stealing and the importance of respecting others' belongings. Make sure he understands the consequences of his actions, not just in terms of punishment, but also how it affects others.

3. Teach Empathy: Help your son develop empathy by discussing how stealing impacts the person from whom he takes something. Use role-playing scenarios to illustrate how he would feel if someone took his belongings without permission.

4. Positive Reinforcement: Instead of solely focusing on the negative behavior, reinforce positive actions. Praise him when he makes good choices or returns something he may have taken. This can help build his self-esteem and encourage better decision-making.

5. Professional Help: Given the persistence of the behavior, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a child psychologist or counselor. They can provide a more comprehensive assessment of your son’s behavior and help develop tailored strategies to address it.

6. Consistent Consequences: If stealing continues, implement consistent and appropriate consequences. This could involve having him return the stolen items, apologizing, or engaging in community service. Ensure that the consequences are fair and help him learn from his mistakes.

7. Model Appropriate Behavior: Children learn by observing their parents. Model honesty and integrity in your daily life. Discuss situations where you faced ethical dilemmas and how you handled them. This can provide a practical framework for your son to understand the importance of honesty.

8. Monitor Influences: Be aware of the influences in your son’s life, including friends and media. Sometimes, peer pressure can lead to negative behaviors. Encourage friendships with peers who exhibit positive behaviors and values.

Conclusion
Addressing stealing behavior in children requires a multifaceted approach that combines understanding, communication, and consistent guidance. It’s essential to remain patient and supportive as your son navigates this challenging behavior. By fostering an environment of open dialogue and empathy, you can help him develop the skills necessary to make better choices in the future. If the behavior persists despite your efforts, do not hesitate to seek professional assistance to ensure that your son receives the support he needs.

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