I have thoughts of suicide every day?
Hello, Doctor: I am a college student.
Due to the fact that I had little exposure to computer software in high school aside from studying and taking exams, I have felt inferior since starting college.
Additionally, I have an introverted personality and struggle with communication, especially with classmates or acquaintances with whom I have no interaction.
Every time there is a group presentation or I am somewhat forced to participate in departmental activities, I have thoughts of suicide.
Initially, I considered taking a break from school to work, but my social anxiety is severe, and I lack any skills.
I am careless and forgetful in handling daily tasks, and I can even get lost on short trips.
Moreover, in today's technologically advanced world, I lack basic computer knowledge.
I understand its importance but am unwilling to actively learn, instead maintaining the status quo and waiting for things to end.
Since starting college, I feel useless; I am not doing well academically, have poor learning abilities, and have even given up on the possibility of effort and change.
Every morning, I wake up feeling miserable because I know I am still alive.
"I don't want to do anything, so I choose to commit suicide." I have visited the school counseling office and called relevant hotlines, yet I still have thoughts of suicide.
I realize I am very contradictory; perhaps I don't really want to die, but I just feel that I am not living well, so I don't want to continue living.
Q: Does my situation indicate depression? I kindly ask the doctor to analyze this situation and provide any suggestions.
Thank you very much for your response.
Dora, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/08/17
Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
It is indeed possible for individuals to experience mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
Life is precious, and if you are experiencing emotional distress, it is important to seek help.
I recommend visiting a nearby mental health facility for a thorough evaluation by a physician.
Dr.
Wu En-Liang.
Reply Date: 2022/08/17
More Info
Your situation reflects a complex interplay of emotions and thoughts that are common among college students, particularly those experiencing feelings of inadequacy, social anxiety, and depression. It is crucial to understand that suicidal thoughts can be a symptom of underlying mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety disorders. Based on your description, it is possible that you are experiencing symptoms consistent with depression, which can manifest in various ways, including feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and a desire to escape from emotional pain.
Understanding Your Feelings
1. Self-Esteem Issues: You mentioned feeling inadequate due to your lack of computer skills and social interactions. This self-perception can lead to a cycle of negative thoughts, where you may feel trapped in your current situation. It's important to recognize that many students face similar challenges when transitioning to college, and feelings of self-doubt are common.
2. Social Anxiety: Your difficulty in communicating with peers and participating in group activities suggests a level of social anxiety. This can exacerbate feelings of isolation and loneliness, leading to a sense of despair. Social anxiety can make it challenging to engage in typical college experiences, which can further contribute to feelings of depression.
3. Suicidal Thoughts: The thoughts of wanting to end your life, even if you feel conflicted about them, are serious and should not be taken lightly. These thoughts often arise from a place of deep emotional pain and a feeling of being overwhelmed by circumstances. It is essential to seek help from mental health professionals who can provide support and guidance.
Diagnosis and Treatment
While I cannot diagnose you, the symptoms you describe—persistent feelings of worthlessness, difficulty in social situations, and suicidal thoughts—are indicative of depression and possibly anxiety disorders. A mental health professional can conduct a thorough assessment to determine the appropriate diagnosis and treatment plan.
Recommendations
1. Seek Professional Help: It is commendable that you have already reached out to your school's counseling services. I encourage you to continue this path. A therapist or counselor can help you explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and work on building your self-esteem and social skills.
2. Medication: In some cases, medication may be necessary to help manage symptoms of depression and anxiety. This is something you can discuss with a psychiatrist, who can evaluate your situation and determine if medication is appropriate for you.
3. Develop Coping Strategies: Engaging in activities that promote mental well-being can be beneficial. This might include mindfulness practices, physical exercise, or hobbies that you enjoy. Finding small ways to connect with others, even if it feels uncomfortable at first, can also help alleviate feelings of isolation.
4. Build Skills Gradually: Consider taking small steps to improve your computer skills or social interactions. Online courses, workshops, or study groups can provide a supportive environment to learn and practice these skills without the pressure of a formal setting.
5. Reach Out to Supportive People: Talk to friends or family members about how you are feeling. Having a support system can make a significant difference in your emotional well-being. You don’t have to go through this alone.
6. Crisis Resources: If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger or have thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out to crisis hotlines or emergency services. There are people who care and want to help you through this difficult time.
Conclusion
Your feelings are valid, and it is essential to address them with the help of professionals who can provide the support you need. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and there is hope for improvement. You are not alone in this journey, and with the right support, you can find ways to cope and thrive in your college experience.
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