Overcoming Trauma: Coping with Psychological Abuse and Its Effects

After experiencing a traumatic relationship, symptoms such as palpitations, frequent nightmares, vomiting, and self-harm may occur?

About six months ago, I started dating a man who initially seemed gentlemanly and polite.
However, he gradually invaded my personal life, recording me while I was asleep, rummaging through my phone, stealing my passwords to invade my privacy, and even breaking into my home and verbally threatening me.
This made me feel unsafe while sleeping, and I often woke up startled.
After my privacy was completely violated, he continued his behavior, insisting that I would betray him despite having done nothing wrong.
This led to violence (hitting my arms and back), stalking (observing me at places I frequently visited), verbal threats, and during a panic attack, I was taken to a motel where we had relations without my consent.
After our breakup, he could not accept it and began to fantasize that everyone around me was the reason for our separation, creating countless imaginary enemies.
I found myself constantly explaining things that were unfounded, and recently, I have been experiencing mental breakdowns, waking up easily during sleep, feeling fear at the sound of doors opening, being startled by noises while sleeping, experiencing stomach cramps, vomiting, and hysterically crying.
When I receive his threatening or emotionally manipulative messages, I often have thoughts of wanting to escape from the world.
I feel compelled to respond to his messages because whenever he loses control of his emotions, he uses alarming language and bizarre threats, such as, "It's okay, I know where you live.
You can't handle what I'm saying, can you? Don't think I don't know about that car near your house." I have no idea whose car he is referring to; it seems to just belong to another resident in the community.
I am terrified of continuously receiving such messages, which cause me significant distress, panic, and severe physiological reactions.
Recently, he accused me through messaging of cheating while we were together, called me a liar, claimed to know my address, and said he needed to say hurtful things to feel balanced.
This caused my heart to race, cold sweats, amplified hearing, dizziness, a heightened sense of fear, excessive stomach acid, and I even attempted to commit suicide with a utility knife, but my family stopped me.
I am unsure whether I should see a doctor or if this is a medical condition.
Since he started causing me panic and violating my privacy, I have lost 16 kilograms in just under four months and have begun to experience difficulty eating.
I need help.

Nanxi, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/10/11

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry

Hello.
The symptoms are quite evident and are severely affecting your physical and mental health.
Please seek treatment at a psychosomatic clinic as soon as possible to facilitate early improvement and prevent further deterioration.

Reply Date: 2022/10/11

More Info

I'm truly sorry to hear about the distressing experiences you've been through. It sounds like you've faced significant psychological and emotional trauma due to the abusive relationship. Coping with psychological abuse can be incredibly challenging, and it's crucial to address both the emotional and physical symptoms you're experiencing.

Firstly, it's important to recognize that what you've described is not just a temporary emotional reaction but could be indicative of a serious psychological condition, such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or acute stress disorder. Symptoms like hypervigilance, sleep disturbances, panic attacks, and gastrointestinal issues are common in individuals who have experienced trauma. The feelings of fear, anxiety, and the physical reactions you described, such as rapid heartbeat and nausea, are all signs that your body is responding to the stress and trauma you've endured.

Given the severity of your symptoms, including thoughts of self-harm, it is crucial that you seek professional help immediately. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with a safe space to process your experiences and feelings. They can also offer therapeutic interventions, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which has been shown to be effective for individuals dealing with trauma and anxiety. Medication may also be an option to help manage your symptoms, particularly if they are affecting your daily functioning.

In addition to seeking professional help, there are several self-care strategies you can implement to help manage your symptoms:
1. Establish a Support System: Reach out to trusted friends or family members who can provide emotional support. Sharing your experiences with someone who understands can be incredibly validating and comforting.

2. Practice Grounding Techniques: When you feel overwhelmed, grounding techniques can help bring you back to the present moment. This can include deep breathing exercises, focusing on your surroundings, or engaging in physical activities that help you feel more connected to your body.

3. Limit Contact with the Abuser: If possible, try to cut off all communication with the individual who has caused you harm. This can help reduce the triggers that lead to panic and anxiety.

4. Engage in Self-Care Activities: Prioritize activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as yoga, meditation, or spending time in nature. These activities can help reduce stress and improve your overall mental health.

5. Keep a Journal: Writing about your feelings and experiences can be a therapeutic outlet. It can help you process your emotions and gain clarity about your thoughts.

6. Educate Yourself: Understanding the effects of psychological abuse and trauma can empower you. Knowledge about your experiences can help you feel less isolated and more in control.

7. Consider Joining a Support Group: Connecting with others who have experienced similar situations can provide a sense of community and understanding. Support groups can be a safe space to share and learn coping strategies.

Lastly, please remember that you are not alone in this journey. Many individuals have faced similar situations and have found ways to heal and reclaim their lives. It may take time, but with the right support and resources, you can work towards recovery and regain a sense of safety and peace in your life. If you ever feel in immediate danger or have thoughts of self-harm, please seek emergency assistance right away. Your safety and well-being are the top priority.

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