Fetishism: Coping with Choking in Sexual Relationships - Psychiatry

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It sounds like you are grappling with a complex relationship between your sexual preferences, particularly your interest in choking during sexual activities, and your desire to have a more conventional sexual experience. This is a common struggle for many individuals who find themselves attracted to specific fetishes or kinks that they perceive as "abnormal" or outside societal norms.
First, it's important to understand that having a fetish, such as a fascination with choking, is not inherently problematic. Fetishes are a part of human sexuality and can be quite common. However, the key to a healthy sexual relationship is communication, consent, and safety. Since you mentioned that you have discussed your interests with your partners and have made sure to control the intensity, it seems you are approaching this aspect of your sexuality responsibly.
However, if you feel that your interest in choking is overshadowing your ability to enjoy other forms of sexual intimacy, it may be beneficial to explore why this is the case. Here are a few strategies that might help you cope with your feelings and desires:
1. Self-Reflection: Take some time to reflect on your feelings about your fetish. Ask yourself why you are drawn to choking and what it represents for you. Understanding the underlying motivations can sometimes help in managing the intensity of the desire.

2. Therapy or Counseling: Speaking with a mental health professional who specializes in sexual health can provide you with a safe space to discuss your feelings. They can help you explore your desires without judgment and assist you in finding a balance between your interests and your overall sexual health.

3. Gradual Exposure: If you want to reduce the frequency of your thoughts about choking, consider gradually exposing yourself to other forms of intimacy. This could involve exploring different types of sexual activities that do not involve choking, allowing you to diversify your sexual experiences.

4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Engaging in mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, can help you manage intrusive thoughts about your fetish. These practices can promote relaxation and help you focus on the present moment rather than fixating on specific desires.

5. Open Communication with Partners: If you are in a relationship, maintaining open lines of communication with your partner about your desires and boundaries is crucial. This can help both of you navigate your sexual relationship in a way that feels comfortable and fulfilling for both parties.

6. Educate Yourself: Learning more about sexual health, consent, and the psychology of fetishes can provide you with a broader perspective on your interests. Understanding that many people have similar experiences can help normalize your feelings.

7. Set Boundaries: If you find that your fetish is consuming too much of your time or energy, it may be helpful to set boundaries for yourself. This could involve limiting the amount of time you spend engaging in related activities or thoughts.

8. Explore Other Interests: Engaging in hobbies or activities outside of your sexual interests can provide a healthy distraction and help you develop a more balanced lifestyle.

Remember, it's perfectly okay to have sexual preferences that differ from the norm, but it's essential to ensure that they do not interfere with your overall well-being or your ability to engage in fulfilling relationships. If you find that your fetish is causing distress or impacting your daily life, seeking professional help is a wise step. A therapist can offer tailored strategies to help you navigate your feelings and desires in a healthy manner.