Dislike the way I look right now?
Hello, doctor.
I have been troubled by this issue since puberty.
I hate my breasts, pubic hair, and underarm hair; I feel like they shouldn't exist on my body.
While I can remove hair through depilation methods, I really wish my breasts would disappear.
Sometimes, when I think about it, I get so angry that I hit my chest, and I even consider using a knife to cut them off.
I don't want to become a man, and I'm not a lesbian; I have no interest in men.
In fact, I had a failed marriage due to my aversion to sexual activity.
Sometimes, when I see cute children's clothing, I wish I could wear them, but because of my breasts and my curvy figure, I have to give up on that.
During my puberty, my mother wanted me to take traditional Chinese medicine, and I told her I didn't want to take anything that would make my breasts larger.
I don't know if she secretly gave me such medicine.
I really dislike being called "Miss" and prefer to be called "Sister" or "Young Lady." I have emotional issues, and sometimes when someone calls me "Miss," I glare at them, and if a familiar person calls me "Miss," I might even lash out at them.
I don't know what's wrong with me, which is why I'm here to ask this question.
Thank you in advance.
Xiao Mei Mei, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/12/25
Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
If you are feeling emotional distress due to dissatisfaction with your body image, it is recommended to seek help from a mental health facility.
If you have mentioned that you are experiencing emotional issues, it is also advisable to discuss these concerns with your physician.
Dr.
Wu Enliang.
Reply Date: 2022/12/25
More Info
Your struggle with body image and self-hatred is a complex issue that many individuals face, particularly during adolescence and into adulthood. It’s important to recognize that feelings of discomfort or hatred towards certain aspects of your body can stem from a variety of factors, including societal pressures, personal experiences, and underlying mental health conditions.
Firstly, it’s crucial to understand that your feelings are valid. Many people experience body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), a mental health condition characterized by an obsessive focus on perceived flaws in appearance. This can lead to significant distress and impairment in daily functioning. Your feelings towards your breasts, body hair, and the way you wish to be addressed suggest a deep-seated discomfort with your physical self, which may be exacerbated by societal standards of beauty and femininity.
The fact that you have a history of emotional issues may also play a role in how you perceive your body. Emotional disorders, such as anxiety and depression, can distort self-image and lead to negative thought patterns. It’s not uncommon for individuals with these conditions to develop a negative body image, which can manifest in self-hatred or even self-harm, as you mentioned with your thoughts of wanting to harm your breasts.
Your desire to wear certain clothing and your feelings of anger when referred to as "小姐" (miss) indicate a conflict between your self-identity and societal expectations. It’s important to explore these feelings further, as they may be tied to your sense of self-worth and how you perceive femininity. The desire to wear children's clothing and the frustration with your body could suggest a longing for a time when you felt less pressure to conform to societal norms.
Seeking professional help is a crucial step in addressing these feelings. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings about your body and help you develop healthier coping mechanisms. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for body image issues, as it helps individuals challenge and change negative thought patterns.
Additionally, it may be beneficial to engage in body positivity practices. This involves actively working to appreciate your body for what it can do rather than how it looks. Surrounding yourself with supportive communities that promote body acceptance can also help shift your perspective.
It’s also worth considering the role of societal influences in shaping your body image. Media portrayals of beauty can create unrealistic standards that many people feel pressured to meet. Understanding that these standards are often unattainable and not reflective of reality can help alleviate some of the pressure you may feel.
Lastly, it’s important to practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that your feelings are part of your journey and that it’s okay to seek help. You are not alone in this struggle, and there are resources available to support you in finding peace with your body and self-identity.
In summary, your feelings of self-hatred and discomfort with your body are significant and deserve attention. Seeking professional help, exploring body positivity, and practicing self-compassion can be powerful steps towards healing. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking that step can lead to a more fulfilling and positive relationship with yourself.
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