Not accustomed to talking to people?
I still don't have the habit of talking to people in middle age.
Sometimes when someone talks to me, I feel uncomfortable and want to quickly end the conversation.
I'm okay with talking on the phone, but face-to-face interactions feel very awkward for me, and after speaking, I tend to walk around excitedly.
Thank you.
Ban, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2023/04/27
Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry
Hello: If you are not accustomed to speaking with others but wish to communicate face-to-face, it is recommended that you participate in courses focused on learning communication skills.
Practicing how to interact with others can help alleviate your concerns.
Wishing you peace and good health!
Reply Date: 2023/04/27
More Info
Overcoming social anxiety, especially when it comes to communication skills, can be a challenging journey, but it is certainly achievable with the right strategies and support. Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one may be judged or scrutinized by others. This fear can lead to avoidance behaviors and difficulties in developing effective communication skills. Here are some tips and strategies that may help you improve your communication skills and manage social anxiety more effectively.
Understanding Your Anxiety
1. Recognize Your Triggers: Understanding what specific situations trigger your anxiety can help you prepare for them. For instance, if you feel anxious in large groups but more comfortable in one-on-one settings, you can gradually expose yourself to larger groups while having a friend by your side for support.
2. Identify Negative Thoughts: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) emphasizes the importance of recognizing and challenging negative thoughts. When you find yourself thinking, "I will embarrass myself," try to counter that thought with evidence from past experiences where things went well.
Building Communication Skills
3. Practice Active Listening: Good communication is not just about speaking; it also involves listening. Focus on what the other person is saying, and respond thoughtfully. This can help take the pressure off you and make the conversation feel more natural.
4. Start Small: Begin with low-stakes interactions, such as greeting a neighbor or making small talk with a cashier. Gradually increase the complexity of your interactions as you become more comfortable.
5. Use Open-Ended Questions: When conversing, ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. For example, instead of asking, "Did you enjoy the movie?" you could ask, "What did you think about the movie?" This encourages a more engaging dialogue.
6. Role-Playing: Practicing conversations with a trusted friend or family member can help you feel more prepared for real-life interactions. Role-playing different scenarios can also help you anticipate and manage your anxiety.
Managing Anxiety in the Moment
7. Breathing Techniques: When you feel anxious, practice deep breathing exercises. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth. This can help calm your nervous system and reduce anxiety.
8. Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Mindfulness practices can help you stay present during conversations. Techniques such as focusing on your surroundings or your breath can help ground you when you start to feel overwhelmed.
9. Positive Visualization: Before entering a social situation, visualize yourself successfully engaging in conversation. Imagine the positive outcomes and how you would feel afterward. This can help set a positive tone for the interaction.
Seeking Professional Help
10. Therapy: If your social anxiety significantly impacts your daily life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Therapists can provide tailored strategies and support, such as CBT, which has been shown to be effective for social anxiety.
11. Support Groups: Joining a support group for individuals with social anxiety can provide a safe space to share experiences and learn from others facing similar challenges.
Conclusion
Overcoming social anxiety and improving communication skills is a gradual process that requires patience and practice. By recognizing your triggers, challenging negative thoughts, and employing practical strategies, you can enhance your ability to communicate effectively. Remember, it’s okay to seek help from professionals if you find it difficult to manage on your own. With time and effort, you can build the confidence needed to engage in social interactions more comfortably.
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