Worried about becoming homosexual?
Hello doctor, I am currently a freshman in college.
Two months ago, when I went to work (part-time), I noticed a male colleague and felt a strange sensation.
I was really scared that I might be gay.
The more I thought about it, the more anxious and fearful I became.
I even watched adult films to see if I would feel aroused, but that only made me more scared! My emotions have been fluctuating over the past two months, with my appetite varying from very little to significantly increased.
Whenever I see someone of the same sex, I start to overthink, and at night, I fear that thoughts of the same sex will enter my mind.
I basically go to sleep feeling anxious.
I used to feel fine, but now I feel completely different from before.
I really do not like the same sex.
What is going on?
derek, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2023/05/04
Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
Dear netizens, please rest assured that sexual orientation is innate and does not change later.
Dr.
Wu Enliang.
Reply Date: 2023/05/04
More Info
It's completely understandable to feel anxious and confused about your sexual orientation, especially during a time of significant change and self-discovery, such as your first year of college. Many individuals experience similar feelings when they encounter new emotions or attractions, particularly in a society that often places rigid expectations on sexual identity.
Firstly, it's important to recognize that sexual orientation is not something that can be easily categorized or defined. It exists on a spectrum, and many people find themselves questioning their feelings at various points in their lives. The feelings you experienced towards your male colleague may have triggered a sense of fear or anxiety about your identity, especially if you have previously identified as heterosexual. This is a common reaction, particularly when societal norms suggest that attraction to the same sex is something to be feared or stigmatized.
Your decision to watch adult content to gauge your feelings is a natural response to curiosity, but it can also exacerbate anxiety. Instead of providing clarity, it may lead to more confusion and fear, especially if the content does not align with your expectations of your feelings. It's essential to approach your feelings with compassion and understanding rather than judgment.
The fluctuations in your mood and appetite are also significant indicators of the stress and anxiety you're experiencing. Anxiety can manifest in various ways, including changes in eating habits, sleep disturbances, and heightened emotional responses. It's crucial to prioritize self-care during this time. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation, such as exercise, mindfulness, or talking to friends about your feelings, can be beneficial.
Moreover, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor who specializes in LGBTQ+ issues can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings without judgment. They can help you navigate your thoughts and emotions, offering strategies to cope with anxiety and uncertainty. Therapy can also assist in unpacking any societal pressures or internalized beliefs that may be contributing to your distress.
It's also worth noting that questioning your sexual orientation does not mean you are changing your identity. Many people go through phases of exploration and questioning, and this process can be a vital part of understanding oneself. It's okay to take your time to figure out what feels right for you.
Lastly, remember that you are not alone in this journey. Many individuals have faced similar questions and anxieties about their sexual orientation. Engaging with supportive communities, whether online or in person, can provide reassurance and understanding.
In conclusion, your feelings of anxiety regarding your sexual orientation are valid and common. Allow yourself the grace to explore these feelings without pressure to label yourself immediately. Seek support from professionals and trusted individuals in your life, and prioritize your mental health as you navigate this complex and personal journey.
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