Should I Seek Mental Health Help? Overcoming Fear of Wasting Resources - Psychiatry

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I'm unsure whether I should see a psychiatrist, as I'm afraid of wasting medical resources?


Since elementary school, I have written about wanting to jump off a building.
After being harshly reprimanded by my family, I dared not bring it up again.
After experiencing a medical abortion last year, I often feel guilty and remorseful for that little life.
Additionally, after graduating, seeing many people around me with good jobs or lives makes me feel utterly useless, as if I am just wasting resources.
I sometimes think that if I were to die, my family might receive insurance money to alleviate their burden.
However, I also feel that if I were to die, my family would be very sad.
I already feel so useless; it would be very unfilial of me to make them sad.
Although I frequently have these negative thoughts, my daily life has remained normal, and I have not let these thoughts affect me.
I used to be very impulsive emotionally, but I have been working on controlling my temper and can be considered more gentle now.
Whenever I Google symptoms, it seems that everything points to cancer, so I am unsure about the accuracy of what I find online.
I want to see a psychiatrist, but I am afraid that I might just be complaining without any real issues, which would ultimately waste medical resources.
Moreover, my boyfriend's family is not very accepting of mental health issues, and I worry that if there is a problem, it would leave a record that could force us apart.
I would like to ask the doctor if, based on the above statements, I should seek help from a mental health professional.
Could it be that I am just overthinking things?

Nìngmíng, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2024/05/16

Dr. Lin Mianzhang reply Psychiatry


Hello: It seems that you often experience negative thoughts, feelings of guilt and self-blame, as well as low self-esteem.
I recommend that you visit a mental health specialist for an evaluation to determine if you may have depression or other conditions.
Even if you do not have a mental health disorder, it can still be beneficial to talk to a doctor or arrange for psychological counseling to help alleviate negative emotions.
If you are concerned about maintaining a record, you can seek care on a self-pay basis, which will not be recorded in the national health insurance system.
Wishing you peace and good health!

Reply Date: 2024/05/16

More Info


It sounds like you are grappling with a lot of complex emotions and thoughts that are weighing heavily on you. The feelings of guilt, self-doubt, and the contemplation of your worth can be incredibly challenging to navigate. It's important to recognize that these feelings are valid and that seeking help is a courageous step towards understanding and managing them.

From your description, it seems you have experienced significant emotional distress, particularly after your past experiences, such as the loss of a pregnancy. Feelings of guilt and self-blame are common in such situations, but they can become overwhelming and lead to a negative cycle of thinking. Additionally, comparing yourself to others and feeling inadequate can exacerbate these feelings, leading to a sense of hopelessness.

You mentioned that you often have thoughts about your worth and the impact of your existence on your family. It's crucial to understand that these thoughts, while distressing, are not uncommon among individuals who are struggling with their mental health. The idea that your family would be better off without you is a harmful misconception that can arise from depression or anxiety. In reality, your loved ones would likely feel a profound sense of loss and grief if you were not in their lives.

Regarding your concerns about seeking mental health help, it's essential to recognize that reaching out for support is not a waste of resources. Mental health professionals are trained to help individuals navigate their feelings and thoughts, and they can provide you with tools and strategies to cope with the challenges you are facing. The fear of being perceived as "just complaining" or "wasting resources" is a common barrier that many people face when considering therapy. However, mental health care is a vital part of overall health, and addressing your emotional well-being is just as important as addressing physical health concerns.

You also mentioned worries about how your boyfriend's family might perceive your mental health struggles. While it's natural to be concerned about how others view you, your mental health should be your priority. If you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, it is crucial to seek help regardless of external perceptions. A supportive partner will understand and want to help you through your struggles.

In terms of practical steps, consider reaching out to a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. They can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings without judgment. You might also explore support groups where you can connect with others who have similar experiences. Additionally, practicing self-care, such as engaging in activities that bring you joy, maintaining a healthy routine, and reaching out to trusted friends or family members for support, can be beneficial.

Lastly, if you ever feel that your thoughts of self-harm or hopelessness become overwhelming, please seek immediate help from a crisis hotline or emergency services. Your life is valuable, and there are people who care about you and want to help you through this difficult time.

In summary, seeking mental health help is a proactive and positive step towards improving your emotional well-being. You deserve support, understanding, and the opportunity to heal from your past experiences and current feelings. Don't hesitate to reach out for the help you need.

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