Your Toddler's Behavior: When Hiding Becomes a Concern - Psychiatry

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A 1 year and 8 months old child hiding?


Hello, doctor.
My son is currently 1 year and 8 months old.
For the past two weeks, he has frequently run into a room or the bathroom at home and closed the door by himself.
If my husband and I open the door, he cries and then closes it again.
However, regardless of whether we wait for him to open the door himself, he often cries inside.
After repeating this several times, he eventually comes out as if nothing happened and continues to play with us.
How should we handle this situation? Thank you.

Yun, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2024/05/19

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Hello Yun: If this started two weeks ago, it might be helpful to reflect on whether the child witnessed or experienced something frightening that they couldn't process before that time, or if they saw something scary on television or in videos.
Regardless of whether a specific cause can be identified, this often represents a child's way of escaping fear and seeking calmness by isolating themselves from the outside world.
What we need to do is provide a warm and supportive family environment.
Engaging in parent-child games or shared reading of picture books can create intimate, safe, and enjoyable moments together, which usually helps the child gradually stabilize.

Reply Date: 2024/05/19

More Info


Understanding toddler behavior can be both fascinating and challenging for parents. Your 1 year and 8 months old son’s behavior of running into rooms and closing the door, only to cry when you open it, is not uncommon at this age. Toddlers are exploring their independence and testing boundaries, which is a normal part of their development. However, it can also raise concerns for parents, especially when the behavior seems to be associated with distress.

Firstly, it’s important to recognize that toddlers often seek out spaces where they can feel secure and in control. By closing the door, your son may be trying to create a personal space for himself. This behavior can be a way for him to assert his autonomy, a developmental milestone that typically occurs around this age. The fact that he cries when you open the door suggests that he may be feeling overwhelmed or simply wants to be alone for a moment, which is also normal.

Here are some strategies to help you manage this behavior:
1. Acknowledge His Feelings: When he cries, acknowledge his feelings by saying something like, “I see you’re upset. It’s okay to feel that way.” This helps him understand that his emotions are valid.

2. Set Boundaries: While it’s important to allow him some independence, it’s also crucial to set boundaries for safety. You might want to explain that certain doors need to stay open for safety reasons, especially if there are areas in your home that could be dangerous when he is alone.

3. Provide Alternatives: Encourage him to play in a designated area where he can feel safe and independent. You can create a small play zone with toys that he enjoys, which might reduce his need to seek out other rooms.

4. Teach About Privacy: As he grows, teaching him about privacy and personal space can be beneficial. You can explain that it’s okay to want some alone time, but he should let you know when he wants to be by himself.

5. Stay Calm and Consistent: If he continues to cry when you open the door, try to remain calm and consistent in your response. Reassure him that you are nearby and that he is safe. Over time, he may learn that he can explore his independence without feeling anxious.

6. Monitor for Changes: If this behavior escalates or if you notice other concerning signs, such as excessive anxiety or withdrawal from social interactions, it may be worth discussing with a pediatrician or child psychologist. They can provide further insights and support if needed.

In summary, your son’s behavior is likely a normal part of his development as he learns to navigate his emotions and independence. By providing a supportive environment, setting appropriate boundaries, and acknowledging his feelings, you can help him feel secure while also encouraging his exploration. If you have ongoing concerns, don’t hesitate to reach out to a healthcare professional for guidance.

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