Navigating Depression: Seeking Help and Finding the Right Therapist

My depression..?

Hello, doctor.
I was diagnosed with depression two years ago and took a break from school.
After resting for two months, I resumed my studies while continuing treatment.
I feel increasingly pressured because I am afraid of worrying my parents and friends, and everyone expects me to be independent and not rely on them.
I suppress my feelings more and more.
I often tell myself to take it easy, but I frequently find myself in fear late at night.
I feel like I am becoming two different people: during the day, I interact with friends and joke around, maintaining great relationships, but at night, I fall into fear.
I become terrified over minor incidents from the day, and sometimes I even have fleeting thoughts of self-harm.
However, after restraining myself, I feel a deep sense of powerlessness and fear.
What should I do? I don’t want to be two-faced; I don’t want to deceive myself or others, which is terrifying.
I keep saying I’m getting better, yet I often endure this fear alone.
What does this indicate? I previously sought treatment at a Chinese medicine clinic, but my psychologist later went abroad for further studies.
I switched to another doctor, but I didn’t feel a sense of trust with them.
After that, I struggled to find someone I felt was suitable because, as a student, I don’t have much time to inquire.
I only knew their names and nothing else, so I stopped seeing a doctor for six months, relying on the leftover medication.
I know my mom thinks I’m fine and often suggests I stop taking my medication.
I feel like I’ve been struggling a lot lately.
I desperately need help, but I don’t know how to trust a “new” psychologist.
I’m afraid I won’t be able to express what I want to say.
I want to find a female doctor, but it’s quite difficult.
Could you recommend a few female psychologists in Taichung City?

Xiao Mi, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/03/15

Dr. Chen Meizhu reply Psychiatry

Hello Xiaomi,
Thank you for your letter.
Based on the situation you described, I initially assess that it is related to issues and symptoms associated with depression, which urgently require medical intervention.
Therefore, I strongly encourage you to persuade your mother to seek medical assistance again.
I have limited familiarity with female psychiatrists in the Taichung area, so I recommend that you consult Dr.
Chen Junying, the head of the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Department at Caotun Psychiatric Hospital, for evaluation and discussion, or ask her for a referral to a suitable physician.
The phone number for Caotun Psychiatric Hospital is 049-2550800.

Wishing you happiness and safety!

Reply Date: 2004/03/15

More Info

Navigating depression can be an incredibly challenging journey, especially when you're trying to find the right support and treatment. It sounds like you've been through a lot over the past two years, and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed and uncertain about the next steps. Your experiences of feeling like you are living a double life—being cheerful and engaging during the day while battling fear and despair at night—are not uncommon among those dealing with depression. This dichotomy can be exhausting and may contribute to feelings of isolation and frustration.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. The fear of being a burden to your family and friends can lead to a cycle of suppressing your emotions, which often exacerbates feelings of depression. It's crucial to remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is a courageous step towards healing. You deserve support, and it's okay to lean on others during difficult times.

Regarding your concerns about finding a new therapist, trust is a fundamental aspect of the therapeutic relationship. If you felt a lack of trust with your previous doctor, it's essential to find someone with whom you feel comfortable and safe. Here are some steps you can take to help you navigate this process:
1. Research Potential Therapists: Look for therapists in your area who specialize in depression and have experience working with students. Websites like Psychology Today or local mental health directories can help you find professionals based on your preferences, including gender.

2. Ask for Recommendations: If you have friends or family members who have had positive experiences with therapists, consider asking them for recommendations. Personal referrals can often lead to finding a therapist who is a good fit.

3. Initial Consultation: Many therapists offer a brief initial consultation, either in person or over the phone. This can be a great opportunity to gauge whether you feel comfortable with them. You can ask about their approach to therapy, experience with depression, and how they handle confidentiality and trust.

4. Express Your Concerns: When you do find a therapist, it's important to communicate your fears about expressing yourself. A good therapist will understand and work with you to create a safe space where you can share your thoughts and feelings at your own pace.

5. Consider Online Therapy: If finding a suitable therapist in person proves difficult, consider online therapy options. Many platforms offer access to licensed therapists, including female therapists, which may provide more flexibility in scheduling and finding someone you feel comfortable with.

6. Support Groups: In addition to individual therapy, consider joining a support group for individuals dealing with depression. Sharing your experiences with others who understand can be incredibly validating and may help you feel less alone.

7. Medication Management: Since you mentioned relying on leftover medication, it's crucial to consult with a healthcare professional about your current medication needs. Abruptly stopping medication can lead to withdrawal symptoms and may worsen your condition. A psychiatrist can help you manage your medication effectively.

8. Self-Care Practices: While seeking professional help, don't forget to incorporate self-care practices into your routine. Activities such as journaling, mindfulness, exercise, and engaging in hobbies can provide temporary relief and help you reconnect with yourself.

In terms of finding female therapists in Taichung, I recommend checking local mental health clinics, hospitals, or university counseling centers. You can also explore online directories that allow you to filter by gender and specialty.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are people who want to help you. Taking the first step to reach out for support is a significant move towards healing. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this process, and allow yourself the grace to feel and express your emotions. Healing takes time, but with the right support, it is absolutely possible.

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