Struggling with Depression: A Single Mother's Journey to Healing

What should I do?

Hello, Dr.
Wang: I am a single mother who has been under various pressures for six years, such as work-related stress (in my accounting job), the gossip from neighbors, and the pressure from friends and family is even greater! Since my daughter and I live at my parents' house, my sister-in-law is very unhappy, and my brother and parents have started to look down on me! This is all because of my past experience with a violent marriage! In the past two years, I have noticed that I cry easily, feel down, have trouble sleeping at night, and sometimes wake up crying in the middle of the night.
I cry while riding my bike to and from work and even while eating! What's worse is that sometimes I find myself thinking about wanting to die! I feel like there is no hope in life! I question why I work and why I live, and I feel so exhausted! Especially after breaking off my engagement with my ex-boyfriend, I have no expectations for the future! The only thing I can't let go of is my two daughters who are still in elementary school! I can only swallow my worries, and when I mentioned my feelings and thoughts to my family, I was laughed at instead of being cared for! (Last year, I even attempted suicide by cutting myself with a knife.) Doctor, do you think I might be suffering from depression? If so, what should I do?

Xiao Rong, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/07/21

Dr. Wang Chongren reply Psychiatry

Dear Xiaorong,
I hope this message finds you well.
From your letter, it is evident that you are experiencing significant stress, and it is important for you to seek help to regain your confidence.
Your letter is a good starting point.
The diagnosis of depression requires an in-person evaluation by a qualified physician.
I encourage you to actively seek medical assistance, as treatment through medication or psychotherapy can help you change your current situation, allowing you to live more happily and better care for your two daughters.

The Tainan City Hospital cares about your health!
Sincerely,
Director Wang Chongren
Department of Psychiatry
Tainan City Hospital

Reply Date: 2006/07/21

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult time, and I want to acknowledge the immense pressure and emotional turmoil you are experiencing as a single mother. The feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and even thoughts of self-harm that you described are serious and warrant immediate attention. Based on your description, it is very likely that you are experiencing symptoms of depression, which can be exacerbated by the multiple stressors in your life, including work pressures, family dynamics, and the challenges of single parenthood.

Depression is a complex mental health condition that can manifest in various ways, including persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, changes in sleep patterns, and feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness. Your experiences of crying frequently, feeling overwhelmed, and contemplating self-harm are significant indicators that you may be struggling with depression. It’s important to understand that these feelings are not a reflection of your worth as a person or a mother; they are symptoms of a condition that can be treated.

Given the severity of your symptoms, it is crucial that you seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with a proper diagnosis and develop a treatment plan tailored to your needs. Treatment for depression often includes therapy, medication, or a combination of both. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for many individuals, as it helps to identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to depression.

Additionally, it is essential to build a support system around you. While it may feel like your family is not supportive, consider reaching out to friends, support groups, or community resources that can provide emotional support and understanding. Connecting with others who have faced similar challenges can help you feel less isolated and more empowered to cope with your situation.

Self-care is also vital during this time. Although it may feel challenging, try to incorporate small, manageable activities into your daily routine that bring you joy or relaxation, whether it’s going for a walk, reading a book, or practicing mindfulness and meditation. These activities can help alleviate some of the emotional burden you are carrying.

Lastly, I want to emphasize that you are not alone in this journey. Many single mothers face similar struggles, and it’s okay to ask for help. Your well-being is important not only for you but also for your daughters. By taking steps to address your mental health, you are setting a positive example for them about the importance of seeking help and prioritizing one’s mental health.

In summary, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional as soon as possible. You deserve support and care, and there is hope for healing and recovery. Remember, it’s okay to take things one day at a time, and seeking help is a courageous and vital step towards a healthier and happier life.

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