Anxiety: Coping with Social Fears and Low Self-Esteem - Psychiatry

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Why do I feel so down?


Hello, doctor...
I don't know why I feel very afraid in crowded places, such as the subway or convenience stores.
Whenever I find myself in a crowded area, I tend to lower my head and feel very uncomfortable all over.
My whole body itches, and I constantly worry that others think something is wrong with me.
Sometimes, just talking to someone I'm not familiar with makes me anxious; my cheeks twitch, my body tenses up, and my toes curl.
I've always lacked self-confidence, and this past year, due to persistent acne on my face, I've been avoiding going out and feel like I can't even look in the mirror.
I truly believe I have no positive qualities.
I often think about suicide...
but I'm afraid it will hurt...
I frequently experience insomnia and find myself forcing myself to do certain things, like turning off the lights twice or following a specific order when showering.
I always think that by doing this, my luck will improve...
Is there any way to improve my mood? Do I have a mental illness?

Ai, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/11/07

Dr. Huang Weiqin reply Psychiatry


Dear Inquirer: Hello! Based on the phenomenon you described, it is possible that you may be experiencing social anxiety disorder or depression.
I recommend that you visit a nearby hospital's psychiatry (or psychosomatic medicine) outpatient department for further evaluation and treatment.
Sincerely, Dr.
Huang Wei-Chin.

Reply Date: 2006/11/07

More Info


It sounds like you are experiencing significant anxiety, particularly in social situations, which is often associated with social anxiety disorder. Your feelings of discomfort in crowded places, the physical symptoms you describe (like itching and tension), and your low self-esteem are all indicators of this condition. Additionally, the compulsive behaviors you mentioned, such as needing to turn off lights a certain number of times or following a specific order while showering, could suggest the presence of obsessive-compulsive tendencies.

Social anxiety disorder is characterized by an intense fear of being judged or scrutinized in social situations, leading to avoidance behaviors. This can manifest in various ways, such as feeling nervous when speaking to unfamiliar people, fearing embarrassment, or worrying excessively about how others perceive you. It's important to recognize that these feelings are not uncommon, and many people struggle with similar issues.

Your concerns about your appearance, particularly with the breakouts you mentioned, can further exacerbate feelings of low self-worth and anxiety. It's common for individuals to feel self-conscious about their looks, especially during adolescence and young adulthood when social interactions are frequent and often scrutinized by peers.

The thoughts of self-harm and suicidal ideation you mentioned are serious and should not be taken lightly. It's crucial to talk to a mental health professional who can provide support and guidance. They can help you explore these feelings and develop coping strategies to manage your anxiety and improve your self-esteem.

Here are some strategies that may help you cope with your anxiety and improve your overall mental health:
1. Seek Professional Help: A therapist or counselor can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings and fears. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for social anxiety, as it helps individuals challenge and change negative thought patterns and behaviors.

2. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce anxiety symptoms. Mindfulness encourages you to focus on the present moment, which can alleviate worries about how others perceive you.

3. Gradual Exposure: Gradually exposing yourself to social situations can help desensitize your anxiety. Start with less intimidating scenarios and slowly work your way up to more challenging situations. This can help build your confidence over time.

4. Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you notice negative thoughts about yourself or your social interactions, try to challenge them. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support these thoughts or if they are based on assumptions. Replacing negative thoughts with more balanced ones can improve your self-esteem.

5. Develop a Support System: Surround yourself with supportive friends or family members who understand what you are going through. Sharing your experiences with trusted individuals can help you feel less isolated.

6. Focus on Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote your well-being, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental health.

7. Limit Social Media Use: Social media can often exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. Consider reducing your time on these platforms if you find they contribute to your negative self-image.

8. Medication: In some cases, medication may be necessary to manage anxiety symptoms. Consult with a psychiatrist to discuss whether this is an appropriate option for you.

It's essential to remember that you are not alone in this struggle, and there is help available. Reaching out for support is a courageous step towards improving your mental health. If you ever feel overwhelmed or have thoughts of self-harm, please seek immediate help from a mental health professional or a crisis hotline. Your well-being is important, and there are people who care and want to help you through this difficult time.

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