Struggling with Depression: Seeking Hope After Two Years of Pain - Psychiatry

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Depression for 2 years... no improvement in condition?


Hello Doctor, I have been suffering from depression for two years, but my condition has not improved.
I feel unhappy every day and have lost interest in things I used to love.
Three months ago, I lost control of my emotions and hit a family member, causing a concussion.
Since then, I have often thought about how to commit suicide in a more comfortable way.
As each day passes, I feel increasingly inferior and guilty.
I also engage in self-harm behaviors, such as cutting myself or hitting walls.
I resigned from my job because I couldn't leave the house.
I am currently undergoing psychological counseling, but it has its ups and downs.
Whenever I think about things, I experience headaches and dizziness.
The combination of physical and psychological distress is extremely painful for me.
My family does not understand depression and keeps telling me to open up, but I can't because they cannot comprehend my suffering.
I feel like I have no value in this world anymore, and living each day is too painful.
Please give me some guidance...
right now, I only have the hospital's medication and my doctor to rely on.
Sincerely, a crying Xiaoyu.

Crying Little Yu, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/12/25

Dr. Su Zongwei reply Psychiatry


Is your physician aware of your current condition that requires close monitoring? Sometimes, while it is important to have stable medication treatment, it is equally crucial to inform your doctor about your condition so that they can adjust the medication as needed.
You may feel regret about your behavior, which can lead to a negative mood; however, it is essential to channel that energy into motivation for recovery and actively cooperate with your treatment.
Believe that your condition will improve soon.
Keep it up!

Reply Date: 2006/12/25

More Info


Dear Xiaoyu,
I want to start by acknowledging the immense pain and struggle you are experiencing. It’s clear that you have been dealing with depression for two long years, and the feelings of hopelessness, self-harm, and isolation you describe are incredibly serious. I want to emphasize that you are not alone in this fight, and there are paths to healing and support available to you.

Firstly, it’s important to recognize that depression can manifest in various ways, including emotional numbness, loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, and even physical symptoms like headaches and dizziness. These symptoms can create a vicious cycle, where the emotional pain leads to physical discomfort, which in turn exacerbates the emotional distress. This cycle can feel overwhelming, but it is crucial to understand that it is a common experience for many individuals suffering from depression.

Your mention of self-harm and suicidal thoughts is particularly concerning. These thoughts can often arise from feelings of despair and a sense of being trapped in your situation. It’s vital to take these feelings seriously. If you ever feel that you might act on these thoughts, I urge you to seek immediate help. This could be through a crisis hotline, a trusted friend, or a mental health professional. Your safety is paramount, and there are people who want to help you through this.

You mentioned that you are currently undergoing psychological counseling, which is a positive step. Therapy can be an effective way to explore your feelings, understand the root causes of your depression, and develop coping strategies. However, it’s not uncommon for therapy to have ups and downs; progress can be nonlinear. If you feel that your current therapist isn’t meeting your needs, it’s okay to seek a second opinion or find someone who specializes in treating depression.
In addition to therapy, medication can also play a crucial role in managing depression. It’s good to hear that you are receiving medication from your doctor. However, if you feel that your current medication isn’t helping, it’s essential to communicate this with your healthcare provider. They can adjust your treatment plan, whether that means changing medications, adjusting dosages, or exploring additional therapies.

You mentioned that your family struggles to understand your condition. This is a common issue for many people with mental health challenges. It might be helpful to provide them with resources or information about depression so they can better understand what you are going through. Sometimes, family therapy can also be beneficial, as it allows for open communication in a safe environment.

In the meantime, consider incorporating small, manageable activities into your daily routine. This could be as simple as taking a short walk, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or engaging in a hobby that you used to enjoy, even if it feels difficult at first. Setting small, achievable goals can help create a sense of accomplishment and gradually lift your mood.

Lastly, I want to emphasize the importance of self-compassion. It’s easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism, especially when you feel you are not meeting expectations—either your own or those of others. Remember that healing takes time, and it’s okay to have bad days. Be gentle with yourself and recognize that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

In conclusion, I encourage you to continue seeking support from mental health professionals, communicate openly with your family about your needs, and take small steps towards self-care. You are valuable, and your life has meaning, even if it feels obscured by pain right now. There is hope for recovery, and I believe that with the right support and treatment, you can find your way back to a place of joy and fulfillment.

Take care of yourself, and please reach out for help when you need it.

Warm regards.

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