How to Regain Motivation After Graduation: A Mental Health Guide

What should I do?

I graduated from high school this June.
I worked hard for a long time to prepare for exams, but in the end, it seems I didn't achieve good results...
(that's not the main point).
Before the vacation started, I kept thinking about what I wanted to learn, do, or accomplish during my break.
However, now that the vacation has actually begun, I find that I don't want to do anything at all.
I've been working part-time at KFC, and since I have a schedule, it feels like a commitment to me, so I feel I have to go.
Every day when I wake up, it's just to go to work.
I'm afraid of not being scheduled and not having money, and I'm worried that the scheduling manager will assign me shifts based on previous ones.
I'm also concerned about unexpected events, so when the time comes, I obediently go to work.

Recently, I've felt quite strange; I don't care much about many things anymore, and sometimes I inexplicably feel like crying.
My mood can drop to rock bottom for no reason.
I feel like whatever changes happen or whatever anyone wants to do, it doesn't matter to me, as long as it's not too extreme and doesn't affect me, I'm okay with it.
I smoke, but it doesn't have a significant impact on me.
Not smoking doesn't make my hands or feet shake, and I don't feel uncomfortable.
Seeing others smoke doesn't make me want to smoke either.
Even if I have a cigarette in my hand, I'd rather let it burn slowly than feel the urge to put it in my mouth.
The reason I buy cigarettes is just because...
after work, walking home, I feel like it's a chance to smoke, and it seems a bit strange not to smoke once it's lit.
However, smoking doesn't improve my mood or make me feel more comfortable.
Every time I smoke, it feels like being drunk; my head gets dizzy, and my focus is off, even making me walk in a zigzag.
I have a boyfriend who is six years older than me, and we met while working.
Our relationship is quite strange, somewhat ambiguous.
We don't see each other often, but I really like him, and he knows that.
However, it seems like I'm the only one maintaining this relationship.
There are many issues between us that I've wanted to resolve, but I feel weak.
Every time I want to say something, I swallow my words back down.
My friends almost all advise me to give up; they think I'm foolish, but I genuinely like him.
I don't know if I'm feeling this way because of my emotional situation or if it's because I've graduated and finished my exams, which has lifted a weight off my shoulders, causing my life to lose its focus.
I want to regain that initial excitement and become the ambitious person I used to be.
What should I do?

Fenhong Bupai, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2007/07/19

Dr. Chen Meizhu reply Psychiatry

From your letter, I can sense that you are very engaged in life.
Reality often presents many ups and downs.
If you find yourself feeling inexplicably down in the dumps, I suggest seeking a consultation.
For now, perhaps you can start by focusing on the small joys that you can still feel.
Best wishes!

Reply Date: 2007/07/19

More Info

Regaining motivation after a significant life transition, such as graduating from high school, can be challenging. It is not uncommon to feel a sense of loss or aimlessness after achieving a long-term goal, especially when the outcome does not meet your expectations. This feeling can be exacerbated by the pressures of daily life, work commitments, and personal relationships. Here are some strategies to help you regain your motivation and navigate this transitional period effectively.

Understanding Your Feelings
First, it’s essential to acknowledge and understand your feelings. The sense of apathy and emotional fluctuations you are experiencing may be linked to several factors, including the stress of exams, the pressure to succeed, and the abrupt change in routine after graduation. It’s normal to feel a mix of relief and confusion after completing a significant chapter in your life. This emotional state can sometimes lead to what is known as "post-graduation blues," where individuals feel lost or unmotivated after achieving their academic goals.

Establishing a Routine
One effective way to regain motivation is to establish a daily routine. While you have a job at KFC that provides some structure, consider incorporating additional activities that align with your interests and goals. Set aside time each day for personal development, whether it’s learning a new skill, engaging in a hobby, or pursuing educational opportunities. Creating a schedule can help you regain a sense of purpose and direction.

Setting Achievable Goals
Start by setting small, achievable goals. These could be related to your job, personal interests, or future aspirations. For example, if you want to learn a new skill, set a goal to dedicate a certain amount of time each week to that endeavor. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, as this can boost your confidence and motivation.

Seeking Support
It’s crucial to talk about your feelings with someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or a mental health professional. Sharing your thoughts can provide relief and help you gain perspective on your situation. If you find that your feelings of sadness or apathy persist, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can help you explore underlying issues and develop coping strategies.

Reflecting on Relationships
Regarding your relationship with your boyfriend, it’s important to assess how it impacts your emotional well-being. If you feel that you are the only one invested in the relationship, it may be worth discussing your feelings with him. Open communication can help clarify where you both stand and whether the relationship is fulfilling for you. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your emotional health and seek relationships that support your well-being.

Exploring New Interests
Take this time to explore new interests or revisit old ones. Engaging in activities that excite you can reignite your passion and motivation. Whether it’s joining a club, volunteering, or taking a class, new experiences can provide a fresh perspective and help you connect with like-minded individuals.

Mindfulness and Self-Care
Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Techniques such as meditation, yoga, or journaling can help you process your emotions and reduce anxiety. Additionally, prioritize self-care by ensuring you get enough sleep, eat healthily, and engage in physical activity. Taking care of your physical health can significantly impact your mental well-being.

Conclusion
Regaining motivation after graduation is a process that takes time and self-reflection. By establishing a routine, setting achievable goals, seeking support, and exploring new interests, you can navigate this transitional period more effectively. Remember that it’s okay to feel lost at times, and seeking help is a sign of strength. With patience and perseverance, you can rediscover your ambition and enthusiasm for the future.

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