A first-year junior high school girl refuses to attend school?
Your daughter (born in 1997) has recently started exhibiting concerning behaviors following the passing of her grandmother on January 20th.
She has stopped attending classes, is crying frequently, experiencing constipation and abdominal pain, and displaying signs of anger and disillusionment with the world.
She is also not communicating with me or her father.
Should we seek medical attention for these symptoms?
Mrs. Jiang, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2011/03/02
Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello, Mrs.
Jiang.
The loss of a loved one can be a significant source of stress for both adults and children.
Most people experience a period of emotional low following such a loss, but with time, they gradually recover.
Adolescents may be reluctant to attend school for various reasons, some related to the fear of separation from family, others related to anxiety about certain individuals, situations, or objects at school, and many times it is a combination of two or three of these factors.
Given your daughter's situation—refusing to go to school, crying, experiencing abdominal pain, and not communicating with her parents—if these symptoms have persisted since January 20th, the intensity and duration of her symptoms exceed the typical standards for normal grieving responses.
It is advisable to seek evaluation from a mental health professional for a more comprehensive assessment to determine if she may be experiencing symptoms of adolescent depression and to develop a treatment plan to help her recover as soon as possible.
Reply Date: 2011/03/02
More Info
It sounds like your daughter is experiencing a significant emotional response to the loss of her grandmother, which is completely understandable. Grief can manifest in various ways, especially in teenagers, who may not have fully developed coping mechanisms to deal with such profound loss. The symptoms you’ve described—skipping classes, crying frequently, experiencing physical symptoms like constipation and abdominal pain, and displaying anger or frustration—are concerning and suggest that she may need mental health support.
Signs Your Teen May Need Mental Health Support After a Loss
1. Persistent Sadness or Crying: While it is normal for someone to feel sad after a loss, if your daughter is crying frequently and unable to find comfort, it may indicate that she is struggling to process her grief.
2. Withdrawal from Activities: If she is avoiding school and social interactions, this could be a sign of depression or anxiety. Withdrawal is a common response to grief, but if it persists, it may require intervention.
3. Physical Symptoms: The physical manifestations of grief, such as abdominal pain and constipation, can be significant. Stress and emotional turmoil can lead to gastrointestinal issues, and these symptoms should not be overlooked.
4. Anger or Irritability: Grief can often lead to feelings of anger or frustration, especially if the individual feels overwhelmed. If your daughter is expressing these feelings frequently, it may be a sign that she is struggling to cope.
5. Changes in Sleep or Appetite: While you mentioned constipation, changes in appetite can also be a sign of emotional distress. If she is eating less or showing changes in her sleep patterns, this could indicate that she is struggling.
6. Difficulty Concentrating: If she is unable to focus on her studies or daily tasks, this could be a sign that her emotional state is affecting her cognitive functions.
Seeking Help
Given the symptoms you’ve described, it would be advisable to seek professional help. Here are some steps you can take:
- Talk to Her: Start by having an open and honest conversation with your daughter. Let her know that you are there for her and that it’s okay to express her feelings. Sometimes, just knowing that someone is willing to listen can be comforting.
- Consult a Mental Health Professional: A psychologist or counselor who specializes in grief and adolescent mental health can provide your daughter with the tools she needs to cope with her loss. They can help her process her feelings and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
- Consider Family Therapy: Sometimes, involving the whole family in therapy can help improve communication and provide a supportive environment for your daughter to express her feelings.
- Monitor Her Symptoms: Keep an eye on her symptoms and how they evolve over time. If her condition worsens or if she expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, seek immediate help.
- Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Encourage her to engage in activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, art, or journaling. These can be effective outlets for processing emotions.
Conclusion
Grief is a complex and individual process, and it can be particularly challenging for teenagers. Your daughter's symptoms indicate that she may benefit from professional support to navigate this difficult time. By seeking help, you can provide her with the necessary tools to cope with her loss and begin to heal. Remember, it’s essential to approach this situation with empathy and understanding, as your daughter is likely feeling a range of emotions that she may not fully understand herself.
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